Total Eclipse
by mp5KOVA
Summary: After a visit to a toy store, during which Sookie Stackhouse found herself grudgingly caught within the mayhem in an attempted assassination of the local La vampires. Only to wake and discover that she & her family had been claimed by the Area 5 Vampire Sheriff. HIGH rating is warranted. Just playing w/ many what if's in CH's sandbox, the characters belong to her: Story is VERY AU.
1. Oh, Lord, NO!

"Mama, cahn I pulchase a toy tooo?"

Sookie Stackhouse gazed through the rearview mirror at the enthusiastic face of her son. She did not even have to rely on her telepathic abilities to know what he was thinking. A store full of all kinds of toys was as close to a wonderland as he was going to get. Unable to resist temptation she dipped into his mind and had to suppress her own giggles of the fantasy images he was envisaging, a land of magic and endless possibilities. Walt Disney should perch himself down and start scrabbling. God, maybe this was a bad idea. His little hamsters were running on over time, so much so, that if she did not get to the store in the next ten minutes he may simultaneously combust and she literally could not afford a new car.

"Well, sweetie, you got any money to purchase a toy with?" It will never seize to amaze her, his vastly growing vocabulary.

It made her blue sometimes that he could read already, next thing he is not going to need her for anything. Well, it may be awhile until he can get his own cereal from above the fridge. She sighed, he would find some way to do it, knowing him it would be some elaborate LEGO contraption and hopefully would not involve dismantling the phone in the process this time. It took her two days to put it back together and get it to work the last time, all because he wanted his silent (ok, fine his cheap) fire truck to make noise just like the one he saw on some TV commercial. The little sneak shielded his thoughts and worked assiduously during the night to accomplish his mission. Thank the Lord, there were not any emergencies in those two days or they would have been more than out of luck, by reason of their little farm house being way out in the boonies. The kid was too smart for his own good, because not only was his toy louder than an alarm o'clock, but he accomplish to secure a functioning phone in the process, if only in the aesthetic of a torture device. All Sookie knew for certain, a new strainer and an egg beater had to be obtained. That was the day he was forbidden to disassemble anything without first getting a formal permission to do so and bid farewell to his fire truck.

"I wolked and safed dwo dallas an eaty sevan cends" was Hunter immediate answer.

He held his two chubby little fingers up ardently and all his excitement screeched to a deadly halt once he found himself in the dilemma of how to demonstrate the numerical value of his eighty seven cents by using all of his fingers. There just were not enough of them. He looked down on his feet and quickly assessed that even with their aid it was not enough to get him out of this predicament. He was so deep in thought at resolving this detrimental problem that his little nose was crinkled, his face was flushed and he kept staring at his hands, wiggle his digits, move his hands to the side and tried to lift his feet as much as the car seat would allow, in hopes that somewhere in all of this action lay the answer he so desperately needed. All his attempts were just futile; there just were not enough fingers and toes in his arsenal. Well good, that will keep him occupied for some time. Let there be said that her little decipherer never backed down from a challenge, so when she saw him reaching for his peacefully napping sister's limbs, Sookie had to intervene quickly.

"Hunter, don't you go disturbin' your sister. Even with all Addy's fingers and toes you still are gonna be short, trust me." Even her firm tone did nothing, but make him that much more determined to find a resolution. Sookie had to smile at her adorable miniature monster, after all he was her monster and she loved him for his stubbornness. She took mercy on his little brain, since he was unprecedentedly intelligent for a mere two year old, sometimes she just forgot that he was indeed a toddler.

"When you need ta show any number greater than ten, you do so by separating the number into two, so in this case, you would show first the number eight and after that the second number, which is seven, ok sweetie?"

Sookie was not even done with her little speech, when Hunter was already presenting her eight and seven fingers consecutively and proudly announcing their values. All she could do was sigh and shake her head at his happiness, one disaster averted. Now, how do you explain to a child that his worldly treasure would probably not be enough to get him a stick of gum in this day and age?

"I wike gumm." Hunter announced undeterred.

The kid, just like his sister, would blissfully play with rocks and sticks and be as happy as a puppy with two peters. Never complain or demanded for anything not even the weather. They may be a toddler and an infant, but their family curse of hearing and seeing people's thoughts let them understand the struggle their Mommy, Gran and even Uncle Jase go through daily to provide for clothes and food. Hunter was aware that the rest of the kids on the playground, whenever mama took them there, thought that their clothes were funny and all the adults looked at them pitifully. He, however, wore them with pride, they were made with nothing short of love and devotion. They were beautiful and snuggly, always colorful and always had some kind of fun detail to make then purdy, as Uncle Jase said. Like his sailor suit had cool anchors embroidered on each side of his collar or Addy's little fairy princess dress had all these beads to make it sparkly, whenever she squirmed and she constantly did just that. He also knew that some of their outfits made the residents of small town Bon Temps, Louisiana covetous, although they would never acknowledge it verbally.

That said, it was up to Hunter to strike a savvy deal with Auntie Tara to sell some of 'Mommy's couture' in her shop. A genius label for a clothing brand that had Tara laughing wholeheartedly when she first heard him pitch his idea to her. If not for his difficulty to pronounce, but for the pure inventiveness and business shrewdness the toddler was exhibiting. Sookie was beat red once she found out what her son had done behind her back, however she could not pass on the opportunity of extra money. They needed every cent they could get, so Mommy's couture was pretty much adorned by all local kids now and Tara was coaxing her to quit her waitressing job and devote all her time in sewing, seeing how they were getting more and more interest from boutiques from Shreveport down to NOLA. Everyone knew who produced the garments, but not a single soul praised the talents of one Crazy Sookie, they just pretended to be happily ignorant as per usual. In just a short two months the business was expanding tenfold. If only Sookie could be convinced that keeping their profits to the bare minimum was not doing them any favor. Vendors were making a killing, due to her own philosophy that raising a child was already expensive as it was and no parent should struggle to clothe hers or his little ones. To say Tara was frustrated would be the understatement of the millennium. She was ready to wring her friend's neck repetitively these days.

Sookie looked at her content boy in the backseat of her barely alive car and asked "How bout this, I'll make you a deal. I'll double your money to get a toy if you rake the yard and collect all the leaves tomorrow."

"Deal" was Hunter's enthusiastic answer and off his imagination went to all the possibilities the store could present him with.

He already knew it was her plan to buy him and his sister a toy each, but he would work for it. If for nothing else it would make his Mommy very proud of him and he always treasured that feeling. In the meantime Sookie glanced at the clock, which showed that nine o'clock was quickly approaching. Addy would stir any moment now and if she had any requirements, it would be for her diaper to be changed immediately. The little girl had no patience with wet nappies; food could wait, but her damped bottom would not under any circumstances. If anyone could throw a fit with a force of a mammoth it was her daughter. All Sookie could do was pray that the car ride would keep her sleepy for the next ten minutes until they reached the Toys"R"Us outlet.

Sookie's anxiety was rising and all her thoughts were turning into a murderous intent for one Portia Bellefleur- Sawyer. Who registers for gifts for a BIRTHDAY party, no really? Portia, that was who. What did you expect from a woman, who bestowed her daughter with the most pretentious name ever: Annabelle Rosé Scarlet-Jo Bellefleur- Sawyer? Could not even have the decency to embrace her husband fully by dropping her last name, oh no, let no one forget where she came from.

Sookie needed to get her temper under control swiftly or the contempt rolling off her was going to affect her babies and that was the last thing she wanted. They did not get the chance to go out often, due to still learning to control their telepathy and sure as heck they did not have the money to just go strolling into a fancy toy store.

She would not rob her precious babies of this experience!

"Id bee ok mama, Adie iz dweamin ov du Bawby she lovez" Hunter assured her.

She gave him a death piercing look, he should know better than to read her even if her shields were down, because her emotions were in turmoil. Even at almost twenty five she had less control than both of her kids' combined, so he had no excuse other than just plain being nosy.

"Sowy Mammy" was all Hunter could provide and squirm into his seat.

They were just pulling into the parking spot in front of the monstrosity of a store, when Addy was starting to slowly open her eyes. You would think that a place catering for children would be closed at this time of night on a Saturday no less, but ever since the vampires revealed themselves to the world, every business extended their work hours to midnight. Even businesses, which had no benefit in doing so, case in point. Was a vampire supposed to get himself a bubble wand or may be a squirt gun in a shape of Nimo? At this particular moment however, even less interested in a toy store than a vampire was Addy and if her Mom did not hurry up with the torture contraption deemed as a car seat she was going to pay dearly. Sookie was so focused on soothing her impatient infant that she did not even register what was on the other side of the strip mall. Nor the presence of the massive queue of Goth worship patrons or their thoughts and she was violently jerked back to reality by Hunter's curious tone when he asked:

"Mommy what's a dee pee wif bow jop?"

_'SHIELDS UP NOW!'_ was all Sookie kept screaming in horror in both of her kids' minds.

She grabbed Addy, lifted Hunter and started running so fast towards the store that she could easily give Usain Bolt a run for his money. Once inside, she did not even so much spare a glance in the direction of the young employee trying to greet them at the door. She picked out of his head where the bathroom was located and all but took the door off its hinges in her reckoning. Great, now that she had time to catch her breath and somewhat subdue her emotional mayhem of horror and disgust she was faced with the fact that the diaper bag was still in the back seat of the car.

Great, just effin great! Oh, she wanted to scream!

She has heard of the vampire bar Fangtasia from her coworker Dawn's mind, seen the God's unspeakable things that happen in there, but nothing could prepare her for the obscene and twisted thoughts that she was currently bombarded with. To think that people were desperately hoping for those acts to be done to them was just beyond words. She thought she has seen all the depraved sex acts there were, but some of the images she was shown surely could not be physically achieved and couple that with the desperation to be willingly drained of one's own blood was unfathomable at the very least.

_'I want both of y'all to keep your shields UP, no matter what, y'all hear me?'_

The mental tone of her voice was so icy it could teach icicles something about cold. Both kids got the message more than loud and clear.

"Hunter, go find wipes and nappies for yer sister". Well, her audible tone was no improvement.

It made him bolt out of the bathroom, as if a lightning strike set his little bottom on fire. Addy did not even dare to show discomfort in the minute it took him to return with said provisions. All she knew was that she had to be quiet and on best behavior, so she waited motionless, while her mommy paced back and forth in the small space in front of the changing table. Forget food; better safe to starve right now. By the time Sookie had her baby girl nicely clean and dry her mood had greatly improved, though she was still on edge.

Hunter was so scared that he did not dare to even look at any of the toys, he just tried to keep up with her as she advanced towards the register. Sookie just wanted to get away from this God forsaken place as quickly as possible. Thank the heavens above, the young man from the door intercepted them to provide help and get them on their way out faster.

"Can I be of any help ma'am?" The boy no older than seventeen, named Tommy, asked with a genuine smile on his face.

He obviously never outgrew his love for toys and his outfit was just screaming that he was stuck at twelve. He was wearing light tan khaki pants and proudly modelling a batman shirt under his employee vest and nametag. Sookie let some of the tension in her shoulders evaporate, since all she was getting from his thoughts were all the different types and models of toys he was ready to recommend and truly his enthusiasm was infectious. She had no choice, but to smile back at him and politely ask for Portia's registry. Her upbringing would not allow her anything less anyway.

"Wow, you're cutting it short ain't you?" Tommy laughed, when he saw that the register list was to closeout at midnight.

"I know, it's just with work and the long drive to get here there was never a good time for it" she felt so shamed, truth was, she just disliked Portia that much.

"Well, let see, there're ten items left on the list. Kinda of expensive if ya ask me, the cheapest one is the Barbie Fashion Editor 1635 - Vintage outfit for $95" as he finished talking he turned the monitor around to prove the validity of his statement. Sookie smiled at his honesty, it was refreshing nowadays. She glanced at the display and good Lord, Portia had no shame, there was not but a single item below $80. She begrudgingly said that it was fine and followed him to retrieve the item. The outfit was definitely stylish and lovely, but who in their right mind priced this two inches of fabric the worth of almost seven of the practical ones she sold. All she could do is shake her head in disbelief and Tommy did not need to be a mind reader to gauge what she was thinking.

"I know right. I coulda gatton three super awesome Star Wars LEGO sets for that money" was Tommy own respond, as he too was shaking his head in disbelief.

Sookie just had to laugh at the incredibility in his voice, plus Hunter eyes lit up at the mention of his favorite play activity. He met her eyes uncertain, if it was ok for him too to get a toy of his own. It was just that he was so looking forward to this experience for the last month, ever since they got the invitation to the birthday party, which should be phenomenal on its own. It was a circus theme after all. Her heart broke seeing the defeat written all over his cute chubby face she never wanted to make him fear her, it was never her intention. God, she wanted to eradicate all the filthy minds outside the store more than anything she has ever longed for.

_'__You can get a toy baby, go ahead and ask Tommy to help you find one.'_

Hunter turned to his new best friend with the biggest smile his face could hold. It was actually kind of scary, seeing how he somehow managed to display all his teeth without opening his mouth.

"Tomy, I gots dwo dallas an eaty sevan cends timez dwo foh a new toy, can you peaz helb me find one?" his declaration was accompanied with vigorous demonstration of each number by his little fingers being stretched and scrunched so his statement could not be misunderstood.

Tommy laughed and may have just found his new best friend also "Sure thing lil man, that's just short of $6, but we got this really cool new truck collection if you wanna look at them?"

When Sookie pick out of Tommy head that he was going to help Hunter with a few cents to get one of those toys, as sweet as it was of him, her conscience would not allow it, so she quickly added with a smile.

"How bout we make it even $6?"

"Well, lil man then you're really in luck. C'mon let me show ya."

Both boys were wearing identical smiles at this point and it did not surprise Sookie when Hunter gingerly took Tommy's hand. All three of them avoided skin contact like the black plague, simply it made shielding from the person's thoughts darn near impossible. Hunter however was on a mission and she had no doubt he was sifting through Tommy's mental toy catalog. She decided to let them to their own devices, maybe she should ask for his number for babysitting emergencies. It was time to get Addy her own gift. This inquisitive child had never been so quiet and still ever before, patiently waiting her turn.

"OK, my little love bug, for being the best baby ever, what prize should ya get?" at the end of Sookie's question Addy was laughing and squirming like a worm on hot rock in midday. Her Mommy's tickles were merciless.

This turned out to be harder than solving the chaos theory. First, the budget was shrinking the selection to a handful of items. Second, the baby would gouge Sookie's thoughts and forgo anything that did not get the awestruck reaction she craved. One would think Sookie was looking for a present of her own. So, the mind Mexican standoff was rapidly approaching world war proportions. Sookie was ready to buy the darn store itself and Addy was ready to walk away with nothing, if her Ma did not find a toy she liked for herself. Stackhouse's were never short on stubborn women it seemed. Whoever wrote those books on parenting in the local library obviously never had a mental argument with a six month old, which also had audible capabilities of the terrible twos. A shirking "NO MA!" could clearly be heard on the opposite side of the vast store.

An hour later and Addy was screaming in delight "DA MA!" as she unreservedly pointed to a massive bubble wand the disaster was finally averted. Good, now all Addy had to do was find a vampire to spread the joy to the world with. Sookie did not even realize she had been sweating profusely until she ran the back of her hand over her forehead and sighed in delight. Just wait till she turns two seemed to be her mental mantra on repeat. She mentally called for Hunter and was counting the minutes to get out of this store version of an adult nightmare. It did put a smile of her face when it was obvious that he found a true friend in Tommy.

"Your total is $163.74 after tax ma'am. Hunter ya lucked out, ya got 3 in 1 with your LEGO Highway Cruiser 31014" by the smile in the innocent teenager's voice it was obvious those two could spend hours playing with the toy together or individually.

After mentally chastising herself for forgetting the diaper bag and having to fork over the money for the ungodly prices, Sookie handed the cash to settle the bill. Three toys, fancy new wipes and nappies (those were definitely to be used only on outings), two babies and she was more than ready to call it a night. She was fast approaching her car when menacing voices breached through her shields

_'__In less than a minute those bloodsuckers would get what's coming to them'_

_'__This is better than we planned look at all those fangbangers bout to die for those ungodly monsters'_

_'__60 59 58...'_

Before she could register what was going on, where the mental signatures were coming from or what on God's green earth they were so excited about, Hunter had broken from her grip and was running full force towards the Fangtasia bar screaming his little heart in horror.

"BOMM ewebody WUN. BOOM WUUUUN"

All she could do was drop the offensive bag, run after him and try to out scream him "OH, Lord, NOOO! HUNTER NOOO, get back here. NOOOOO!"

It all happened in a blur at 49 of the ominous countdown. Next thing she knew, a ferocious looking Alice of Wonderland, who somehow skipped the didactic class on proper lady attire and reckoned that Goth paraphernalia was appropriate apparel, was dragging her and Hunter by the throats. She was moving at unhuman speed deep into the forest behind the strip mall. She evidently had more than enough strength and then some leftover to at least do the decent act of lifting them high enough off the ground to spare them the road burns. Hunter's toddlers' height was the only cause to preserve his clothing and escape with least amount of fire stings. Sookie was in no way so lucky. The pain was not even registering at this point; rocks, sticks and harsh dirt were ripping and mangling her flesh as if she had lost a fight with a lawnmower. All her concentration was on shielding her baby girl from the havoc of debris flying about and pray her baby boy was still breathing.

The five seconds it took them to put a mile distance from the mass hysteria felt like five centuries and the sting of pain registered with a vengeance of a rabid animal fit to be tie.

That was the least of her problems, the sonic carriage and rough grip on her throat had knocked the wind out of her lungs and she was vast approaching incoherent dizziness threatening to slip into a black abyss. Sookie vaguely remembered to make an attempt to get some air, her gasps were harsh and rigid, she was not sure if she was scratching on the obstruction of her air supply or trying to reach for Hunter. It all must of look like a fish in the desert. The only reason she was clinging to sanity and consciousness was the horrid cries for help from her babies and all the while the grip on her throat was by no means easing, if anything it was now slowly threatening to rapidly squeeze the life out of her.

Somewhere over the rainbow and deathly struggle, ghastly screams and were those animal growls and hisses, at this point Santa Claus can drop by in a Borat G-string and she would readily and politely offer him a Jägermeister, even offer to church him up . She did however between gasps for air manage to see a blur of a fair wall of a man rushing towards them, yep Santa was coming to town. She could clearly hear Mariah's voice announcing it: He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's gonna find out who's naughty or nice, ya hear that evil Alice? In between Mrs. Carey angelic tune was a warning sound.

"Pamela!"

Whoever this kid Pamela was, Mr. Claus was not happy with her and she better get her poo together or no presents for you Missy. After Sookie was dropped to the ground faster than a spotted ape and overcame the pain in her back, throat, heck her whole body, she managed to croak out:

"So you better watch out, You better not cry and You better not pout"

It was very nice of Hunter to finish for her, whilst she was in the midst of a coughing spell with:

"I'm tewing you whyyyyy", which was also strangled, seeing how Alice was still dangling him like a wet cat.

It all came in perfect union to an end with "Santa Claus is comi'n, comi'n to town", even Addy chimed in as much as she could.

"ENOUGH!"

Oh oh, Santa was not his jolly self and obviously very rude to cut into their little family chorus. The whole forest shook with his roar, rude indeed.

If only to be outdone by a loud bang and another ripple in the ground. All eyes averted towards where the bar was located and followed by deafening screams and offensive smell of burning flesh. The images of horror, death and pleas for help caused all three telepaths to trash and below their own cries. Hunter was the most thunderous of them all together, he just kept repeating over and over.

"MAKE IT STOOOOOP MAMA! MAKE IIIIIIT STOP!"


	2. here lay stupid

Peachy, now rude Santa Claus and evil Alice of Wonderland were wearing identically homicidal expressions; lethally staring towards the cacophony of distant shrieks.

That was the last coherent thought Sookie could muster.

If those two vampires shared her telepathic abilities, they would have concurred that all was just dandy with the world.

The bar was doubtlessly in ruins. On top of it all, the vampires had their hands full with not one but three obviously mentally disturbed creatures. With all their shrieking and thrashing around glamouring, would be of no use if you could not get them to focus on your eyes for the command to take effect.

The red haze of bloodlust was rapidly creeping onto the two vampires, the surrounding luscious mixture of blood and fear was everywhere and overwhelming all their senses and primal instincts. The enchanting smell had an actual physical taste to it. Their beasts were starting to roar and demand to be let loose. The sweet fragrance of the detainees and the blood with the ambrosial bouquet gushing out of the busty blonde were of no help either; if anything they were just goading them on tenfold.

A plan needed to be devised instantly.

In the meantime Hunter was being ripped away from one vampire, who responded with a malicious hiss of protest and hurled towards his mother by the other.

Nothing that was happening around any of the family members was registering in their minds any longer. The power of the external anguish possessed them wholly and they were nothing but hollow shells.

The tall monstrosity of a vampire asserted his dominance by bringing petite evil Alice to her knees with his own death grip on her throat and was the first to break the silence with a clearly malevolent snarl.

"Pamela, as your Maker I forbid you to EVER feed on them."

"You can be a real sadistic and selfish bastard som..."

_Oh, Hell NO! She did not just get sassy with HIM - Her Maker, THE Norseman, in the middle of a shitstorm nonetheless!_

Her tone was an impressive combination of a lethal growl and a grousing whine and would have been admirable had it not been so disrespectful to the sacrosanctity of a formal Command given by one's Maker.

More often than not Eric Northman indulged his Childe's every whim, something frowned upon by vampire standards, but he never hesitated, even for a second, to exert his authority and inform any fool of lapses in protocol when called for. He had absolutely zero tolerance for insubordination and even less for stupidity.

Beloved Childe or not, Pam was not exempt from this rule, not by a long shot. She was smart enough to learn very early on that she was indeed a spoiled brat, capable of endlessly badgering her Maker, only to be reprimanded with a glare; nonetheless there was an invisible line, which if she so much as dare touch, no mercy would be shown to her nor any other creature. So, it was no surprise when she immediately threw herself at his feet mid rant and offered her neck to rectify her behavior.

"Forgive me Master, I meant no disrespect. You may bestow any punishment you deem fit."

"Oh, I most certainly will, my_ dearest_ Childe and just for choosing such an inconvenient time to act like a total cunt, when you of all those who roam this earth should know better, prepare yourself for something far less pleasant than a relaxing bubble bath in warm _silver_."

_Fuck a Zombie. Fuck A Herd Of Zombies. Just FUUUCK!_

It was not enough the way he spat his contempt and disappointment in regards to her blunt disrespect to his Maker's Command, he was flooding the bond connecting them with so much hostility and loathing, she would be lucky if she survived what was zooming towards her at speed of the Big Bang. The brutal force of it all was crippling and making her shake uncontrollably.

At his age Eric was well aware, that mental torture, especially if done methodically, was more effective than any physical pain to the flesh a vampire could sustain.

In sooth, Jedi mind tricks were a bitch. It had been centuries since she had to be severely punished (none of those, no clothes and shoes splurging for a day this time) and evidently she was overdue for a reminder. Her selective inability to recall the fearful memories was another layer intensifying his fury. The fact that he did not have the time to act on it was already threatening the longevity of her undead existence, like never before.

"Pay homage to all known Gods, Pam, that I would not take your final and true death into my hands as well."

"Yes, Master."

"Rise Childe, it would do you much good to remember you are walking a very thin _silver_ line for the foreseeable future. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Master."

"Excellent. First, I need you to find their vehicle", he indicated the direction of their captives "and make it look like they perished in the bombing, if you need, use one of the four bombs I was able to extract from the club before all hell broke loose. Minimal to no casualties. However there should be no doubt of their demise, nothing left to identify their bodies, but a residue of ashes and a mangled piece of metal with a VIN number."

"Yes, Master."

There was nothing but unquestionable servitude in her voice or on her stony facial expression, but their bond revealed the doubt if her Maker was currently indeed in possession of all his faculties. Sure, they needed the bloodbags for interrogation, but there was an undertone of a stronger need in his blood, than simply extracting information and covering up their impending demise. If she did not know better it was some faint form of longing. She could barely detect it and only because the blood bond was unprecedentedly wide open. The hissing warning she received made her mentally look for her own stake, monogram it with an apt ::here lay stupid:: bejeweled with a smiley faces, all while happily skipping and whistling along, as Beck so poetically put it: I am a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

"Second, find out what the fuck that was? I know with certainty I got all the bombs out of the bar. There better not be so much as a smudge on my car or nobody will be spared. I swear to the almighty Odin, Shreveport will not even exist as a word in any fucking language, in any fucking realm."

"Yes, Master."

It is not like he needed to breathe, but that was the only way he could think to calm himself before he spurred into a full on homicidal rampage. It was more than an avowal; it was the honest to all Gods truth. Eric has killed for far less and this was his baby we were talking about. It was not even the most expensive car he owned, in fact it was the cheapest, but for some mysterious reason Big Bertha was one of his private pride and joys and he protected her with the uncalled ferocity of a berserker, a demented berserker at that.

Let's face it, all paperwork since the Great Reveal of vampires was a bitch, enough to hold him back for full four seconds. Honestly who needs three copies of every signed document? As per usual, Eric could not let his contempt slip past unnoticed and if he had to suffer so did everyone else, so not even a decree was going to rectify his childish tactic of sending three copies of absolutely everything, even an email. At this point it was just pure habit to triple click on the little paper plane. Technology was a long way from catching up with the speed of any vampire, they were lucky he did not send them twenty copies. It was infuriating enough that he had to wait on the stupid thing to catch up to his commands most days.

No, the only thing stopping him right now was his impeccable self-control, well built over a millennium. Long gone was the time he acted rashly or without just cause. Long gone were the nights of the ungovernable vampire with the temper of a toddler. Of course, it took the Ancient Pythoness, her incontestable word and her swift ruling to any and all nonsense, but even her oracular gift did not prepare her for what was Eric the Norseman.

Case in point, he has never expressed gratitude to her and it was not because he was working out the last details of the elegant banquet he was throwing in her honor. That did not mean he did not respect the Old Bat. After all, he was a lot of things, but foolish or suicidal were not amongst them. He just simply had a perfectly reasonable aversion, or so he liked to think, to ill thought out orders. Especially ones that commanded him to play the highest level of Enforcer and forced him to deal for centuries with the lowliest of his kind. Any form of punishment they were sentenced to was just in his book, if not for any reason, but purely because they were stupid enough to not cover their tracks and allow themselves to be caught.

Like everything, there is always a positive and a negative to it.

Pros: his work as an Enforcer helped him fine-tune the fighting skills he developed as a Viking Warrior, he become an unshakable tracker, an acute survivalist and most of all master of his self-control, patience (eh, let's call it a work in progress with plenty of room left over for improvements), a shrewdly practical strategist.

Cons: his reputation preceded him in this and several more realms, rarely letting him participate in any fights now. Since, suicide was not in any Supernatural dictionary and if a human was to ever best him, well Eric personally was going to fetch his own wooden stake, buff it, file it, decorate it with flowers, rainbows, butterflies and silver engraved it with ::_here lay stupid_:: sigil. In the words of the local scholars: _it ain't never gonna happen._

His new four second mantra for a shitload of paperwork was split in the first three used to prepare and center himself, though in reality it took him only a fraction of a nanosecond, and the fourth was to give his nowadays nonexistent opponents time to reconsider and pull their own shit together. Since, his option for stress relief currently included the deaths of hundred frantic humans a mile away and/or Pam. None of them a worthy adversary, he used the four seconds to chant his mental mantra and take a proverbial deep breath by looking up to the night sky, before returning to his tasks.

_His sweet lovely Bertha had better be fine, that is all he had to say to that._

"Third, if any vampire is injured take them to Warehouse 1 and get them help."

"Yes, Master."

"Fourth, assign and supervise Long Shadow and Indira to deal with any property damage and coordinate with the human authorities."

"Yes, Master."

"Fifth, summon Heidi to track any leads on who is responsible. Assign Thalia to help her in only capturing and detaining any offenders, she is not allowed to harm or kill them" he sighed, with her temper it was still a wide life-threatening berth, "Tell her she will be severely punished if she disobeys." There that should cover it; it was always a let's all cross our fingers and toes and hope so with Thalia. Sigh.

"Yes, Master."

"Sixth, assign Felicia to secure my office or transfer it to Warehouse 3 including whatever is salvageable from the basement." In other words he was not going to lose daytime dead rest over any prisoners.

"Yes, Master."

"Seventh, any vampire not in risk of bloodlust is to assist the human authorities and gather any available Intel."

"Yes, Master."

"Eighth, summon every vampire of Area 5 to Warehouse 3 in three hours. I want full report on how tonight came to be."

"Yes, Master."

"Ninth, I need you to send someone using your car to collect us" again he nodded in the direction of the still screaming and quaking humans.

_Really still going?_ He shook his head. Humans, he will never fully comprehend them.

"Yes, Master."

"Tenth, you have exactly 2 minutes and 15 seconds to accomplish this before you call me with a preliminary report. Your time started 23 seconds ago."

Eric gave her his signature lopsided pompous smirk, finished with one perfectly sculpted raised eyebrow, just daring her to utter one of her usual smart-ass comebacks. He knew he was being an ass himself, but she had no idea it was only but the beginning of what was to befall her. A human had a better chance fighting off a tsunami with a Popsicle.

"Yes, Master." Pam's answer was just like the previous ones, unwavering in prime obedience.

As she was gathering vamp speed to take on her tasks, his Santa Claus jolly voice stopped her dead in her tracks. He was looking intently at the little family of three incapacitated bodies as he all, but sang to her.

"Oh and Pam, _dear_, convert the bedrooms closest to my underground day chamber, with all the amenities needed, into a suite befitting a young lady with two adjacent crèches. You have until dawn. Off you go."

He did not even say which of his houses he had in mind, just taunting her for any sort of reaction. But as always his Childe was too astute and in effect knew his needs and wants better than he did most times, so of course she had no need for further clarifications.

"Yes, Master" and she was gone.

Thank the Gods for the small favor of impeccable vampire memory recall, he never had to repeat himself and if he did, well no one has lived to hear him do so.

He knew his last order was in no shape or form a punishment or even a challenge for her, even if he had given her a half an hour for execution. She loved shopping and decorating way too much which was way too unfortunate for Eric's Black American Express card. If anything he probably had just made her night. Sigh.

He had no doubt by dawn the late Gianni Versace himself would end up personally installing curtains and mounting wall shelves.

_His Bertha had better be more than OK and his house better not look like Barbie puked her glittery pink guts all over the place._

Shaking his head he pulled his phone out from his back pocket and begrudgingly tapped a number from his speed dial. The handful of times he had to interact with the little hobbit, or whatever kind of a hellacious troll she was, always left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and somehow it never got easier to swallow.

Yes, he was not an easy man to get along with, fine, some may say impossible. Even so, everyone had the good sense to know the key was to show him due respect, follow his lead and all will be swell.

It was that simple, really. Not so much, when dealing with the brand of _I don't give two shits rubbed together who you may be_ also known as one, oh so not lovely Dr. Amy Ludwig.

"I need your services. Meet me in my house in ten."

"It will cost you an additional 100K", she did not even wait for confirmation before she hung up.

There was no love lost between them so why bother with pleasantries. There was never blunt disrespect in their dealings, it was borderline cordial. She had more political sway than all the Gods put together and he could bet his whole fortune she got a twisted pleasure in imposing it, especially on him. It annoyed him beyond belief that she never asked for an address or the very least pretended she needed directions. She just knew where to show up and not a single ward that he had ever put in place or had heard of could prevent her from popping her little wrinkled ass all over the damn universe.

_Bertha had better look like she just rolled out of a car wash._ Sigh.

Another loud bang shook the ground and the surrounding screams seemed to double in their hysteria. He just shook his head at what Pam was sending through their bond, it had switched instantly from annoyance and outrage to pure bliss. She was indeed in heaven. Sigh again. It would be rectified in due time.

For the first time tonight, since the gates of hell had burst open, he crouched down over the bodies and took notice of their features. As if on command all three went stock-still and silent, showing no signs of life, completely catatonic. Eric had to truly concentrate his vampire hearing to detect any heartbeats; the ants were making more noise. He actually had to untangle and lay them next to each other in order to lift their eyelids and make sure the spark of life was still there. It was, albeit barely smoldering. It would seem they somehow achieved a perfect self-induced, life undetectable coma. If he was not staring right at them he would not know they were there. Impressive and more than just disconcerting, his vampire instincts perceived them as a threat and was demanding their total annihilation. He rapidly stepped away and put a healthy distance between them before he did something regrettable.

That was the moment when Maxwell approached him and the instant he sensed the limp bodies on the ground his fangs ran out and his pupils dilated. The ambrosial blood called to him like his undead existence depended on it. He attacked before he even knew what was happening.

Unfortunately for him almost none were faster or stronger than Eric Northman, so Maxwell never got to move a hair before he too was brought to his knees by a death grip on his throat.

"MINE" was all Eric roared in his face, shaking the whole forest and it was all it took to snap the young vampire out of his trance.

"Forgive me Master" was Maxwell's instant response and he too, as Pam had earlier, averted his eyes to the ground and bared his neck in submission.

"Leave!"

The trembling vampire did not need to be told even once. It took a hell of a lot to cow a vampire into acting so human. They were too arrogant and pretentious for that to pass, but that was exactly what Maxwell was feeling in this instance. As if he had never been turned and was facing one unbelievably infuriated vampire. He vamp sped out of there before the car keys Pam had tasked him to deliver made contact with Eric's palm.

Eric once again found himself repeating his four seconds shitload of paperwork mantra, so he would not go after one of his underlings. He looked once more to the sky and closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose with his right hand. This night was just one shit storm after another.

_Bertha had better be looking like she is ready to take first prize in a car show._

He turned and walked back to the motionless bodies. They looked almost angelic in their peaceful state. All three possessed unmistakable familial resemblance. Their blonde hair had a silky shine to it under the moonlight; soft perfect curls cascaded around their faces and encompassed them like halos of pure sunshine. There were only minor differences in the shades of their ringlets. The young woman had the medium flaxen, almost identical to his own. Eric smiled. Her hair length was a little longer than his and looked like it reached just above her Venus' dimples. Her curls were big and gave a nice bouncy volume to her locks. Her lips were a lovely natural deep red, they were plump and complimented her delicate round nose. Her eyes were the color of bright turquoise, like the icecaps of his homeland. That made Eric smile wider. Mighty Odin and Thor, she was divinely gorgeous! She had perfectly sculpted cheekbones with a light rose touch to them. _Hmm, wonder what shade of pink her nipples are? _Eric pulled down the, near left side, of her dress and bra. He was met with the most beautiful breast he had ever laid his eyes on, in all his thousand some years. That in itself was more than impressive, seeing how just his mental bust catalog could easily fill the shelves of ancient Alexandria. What can he say; he was a vampire with an insatiable sexual appetite even before he was turned.

He reached and pulled the other one out as well. He cupped one in his hand and studied it like he was giving it a Cancer Breast Exam. It was firm, heavy, feathery smooth with a rose pink bud, there was more than enough to overflow even his enormous hand. He traced his fingers across her warm body to the other globe and leaned down to swirl his tongue around the outline of the former, cataloging each peak and valley of its enticing topography to his eidetic memory as he went on his mini voyage. Her skin tasted like pure sunlight. Just unfuckingbelievable! He never experienced anything even remotely close to this, it made his eyes roll to the back of his head and his body shudder in pure ecstasy. He drew a wet circle with his flat tongue around the peak of her nipple and blew a breath of cold air on it before hungrily sucking it into his mouth like a starving neonatal. He could feel it enlarge and harden with each of his suctions and watched the other bud responding in perfect synchronicity, whilst he pinched and tweaked it roughly with his thumb and middle finger. Eric pulled on and stretched her breast between his teeth running his fang over the sensitive flesh and using all his self-control not to puncture the skin. He did not trust himself, if he were to taste her divine nectar from pounding into her like a wild animal through the earth's core and not coming out on the other side. Just playing with her breasts was threatening to make him cum hard and prematurely like a pathetic adolescent and that has never been a case, not even when long ago he was one. Eric may have finally entered Valhalla. He rolled her nipple between his teeth and sucked it hard one last time before releasing it with a slight pop and gave his new best friends a gentle kiss each. He watched with delight as her tits bounced in the wake of his admiration. He was not saying goodbye to HIS girls. Yes. He decided her breasts were now HIS favorite toys, HIS perfect girls. No. He was simply assuring them that he was going to see to their needs a little later. Gods, his cock has never been this fucking hard, it was actually physically painful.

_Bertha had better be waiting for him out front with a bag of blood when he got home._

Eric turned his focus to observing the teacup humans. Yes, that will instantly kill his raging hard on. He never felt anything remotely sexual towards children even when he had needed to feed on them the handful of times he had been in a tight spot. Sure, their pure undiluted blood tastes better, but they were prone to being exceedingly easy to drain or at the very least left sick from blood loss. You do not intentionally sever your own food supply, unless you are completely suicidal and vampires certainly were not. So, it was against vampire law to feed on any younglings. Nothing united enemies and turned even humans into dangerous opponents, more than a threat to one's fledglings. Plus, he never saw the appeal in an undeveloped body figure.

Eric could never fathom how some vampires would turn a child. It was extremely rare, but it did happen. They never lasted long before they were found and eliminated.

There are many reasons they were not allowed to exist. As much as vampires would like you to believe that there is nothing remotely human left in them, their overall personality carried over as a remnant into their undead life. Therefore, even a vampire, millennia old, turned in its human teens were forever prone to quick, harsh and ill thought out actions. They were impulsive and most times impossible to reason with. I want it and I want it NOW, with a foot stomp, to hell with the consequences. Like overgrown toddlers with god like strength and speed along with a taste for blood and violence, bad idea all around.

Previously Eric had the unfortunate assignment to dispose of a few. It filled him with a world of ire, these were the only killings he gained no pleasure out of, it was not their fault their Makers were utter morons. However, he took great satisfaction in teaching said morons the error of their ways with months of delightful torture before sending them, too, on their merry way to their true death by personally ripping their heads off.

Eric smiled at these pleasant memories.

Feeling as if he had his lust under control he looked at the little ones' faces more closely. They had similar round button noses like their mother. The boy's eyes were light blue with bright gray undertones while the girls were a darker blue but with deep green flecks. Both pairs of eyes were unique and stunning. The boy's hair was the darkest of the three. All had natural golden highlights and beautifully sun kissed silky skin tone. Both children had perky little pink lips. The little girl had just started growing her almost white hair, which was held back on one side with a small sparkling silver bow. She did not have a lot of hair and Eric was wondering if her mother had to glue it on and if so how was he supposed to get the hair tie out without damaging her. Hmm? Well, Google was his best friend nowadays for anything human related; it has not failed him so far. He was positive he was going to be using it a whole heap in the upcoming future. The bow perfectly complemented her lovely tent cut dress of the same material with big puffy shoulder straps. Even her little silver shoes-socks were part of the ensemble. Her tight curls would make Shirley Temple green with envy. She was going to be one gorgeous woman and the boy one handsome man. Both children looked very healthy with pudgy little limbs and chubby rosy cheeks.

The boys outfit consisted of light tan shorts down to his mid-thigh being held up by light colored suspenders with images of bright red fire trucks on them. He had on a short sleeve dark plaid dress shirt in tones of dark blues and reds, dark blue dress shoes with scrunched tan color socks. The colors were perfectly coordinated and the whole outfit was pulled together with a bow tie of the same red fire truck pattern. Their mother was wearing the perfect Southern Belle sun dress, white with designs of big red flowers and delicate white ballerina slippers. The dress looked so fucking sexy on her (he did not dare evaluate her body, let's just say they did not grow them like that anymore) that he would love to rip it off of her before fucking her into submission and his hard on was back with a vengeance. Eric was not aware up to this moment that vampires were indeed capable of getting blue balls.

He shook his head to clear it, yet another first for him. She had simple earrings made of red glass teardrops and a slightly larger droplet at her neck. The value was not worth a single dollar, but it complemented the overall look charmingly, along with the same red glass headband with a big bow on the right side. Of course their clothes had seen better days thanks to Pam's oh so tender treatment, which was adding to her punishment. She had minimal makeup, some mascara with a light touch of dark pink shadow to perfectly bring out her gorgeous eyes, again light touch of rouge with pink lip-gloss. A deep red lipstick would have been undoubtedly sexier, but would have clashed with the demureness of her ensemble.

They were all well dressed, though it was obvious that they were of very limited financial means, which had Eric wondering if they were on their way to a party or coming back from a formal dinner? She better not be coming from or going to a date. As far as Eric was concerned there was never any father, husband, fiancé, boyfriend nor any kind of male and the children were a product of Immaculate Conception. Yet, another first for him, since he found the whole concept as absurd as to declare that there is nothing more a vampire loves than getting his tan on in the midday sun, whilst munching on a delicious cone of pistachio flavor ice cream, whilst coloring in unicorns. Do not even get him started on the concept of Original Sin. Still he found himself praying to every known god and deity for it to be true, just the thought of another touching HIS Valkyrie was threatening the WHOLE FUCKING PLANET! If it meant going to every Sunday night mass for it to be true, he will do so with a smile on his face and let us all lift our hands up and Praaaaaise Jesus.

_Bertha had better look like she just came off the fucking assembly line!_

4 seconds, a whole shitload of paperwork. 4 seconds, a whole shitload of paperwork. 4 seconds, a whole shitload of paperwork. 4 seconds, a whole shitload of paperwork.

Truthfully, the only thing stopping him from springing into a homicidal rampage was him playing with HIS girls aka, Her perfect tits, which he had not stopped doing ever since they met each other. Pulling. Tugging. Twirling. Pinching. Flicking. Oh, how they bounce. Eric smiled. Ah, pure bliss I tell you.

Eric had not even noticed that time was just slipping past him since he started his meticulous assessment of HIS three beautiful breathers, yet another first. He was so enamored by them that he was not going to stop until dawn ripped him away had it not been for his phone breaking his concentration.

"Report."

"One injured vampire, 17 expired bloodbags, 39 injured and 52 thinking their cuts and bruises are worth a damn."

Yes, Pam, tell us how you really feel. In her humble opinion they should just suck it up and walk it off, never mind that all of them required hospitalization. Eric almost chuckled forgetting that she was on his short shit list.

"Names."

"Sookie Stackhouse, 24 years 10 months. Hunter Stackhouse, 1 year 11 months. Addy Stackhouse, 6 months" Yes, she knew him well.

"Meet me at my house with the full report."

With that Eric ended the phone call and was ready to leave, when his curiosity about their aroma just would not stop tugging on him. He was positive that he could control himself. He had been doing an impeccable job thus far. So, for the first time he allowed himself to take a deep breath and really take in their smell. NO, it was not possible. They all smelled of fresh morning dew, spring breeze, the open ocean, honeysuckle, hyacinth, twinflower (that made Eric smile bright) freshly cut grass, peaches, berries, freshly baked bread and the list could continue on and on, but it all was gift wrapped around pure undiluted sunshine. It was like the more you tried to define the smell, the more complex the delicious layers there were to peel off. All three were related and all three had their own distinct potency. There was definitely something of Supernatural origin in their ambrosial odor, but it too was a bouquet that Eric could not pin down, yet another first. The children were undoubtedly siblings. NO, it was not possible. If he was not a millennium and a few centuries old vampire he would have missed it. All his senses have been so overwhelmed that he had to get closer and really breathe her in. By all the Gods! He gently lifted her on her right side and growled when he saw the damage. Pam may actually meet her final death tonight. He gently licked her deepest cut and it was as if the sun had exploded in his mouth. His eyes rolled way back and he moaned loudly in pure ecstasy as he exploded in his jeans with a force of an angry geyser. A fucking welcome first one in his entire time on earth. He did not even care if anyone saw his shortcoming or hell videoed and posted it on fucking YouTube.

A Virgin! A wonderful little virgin! HIS virgin!

With slight FAERIE flavor!

_Bertha can go to hell in a hand basket; he will personally light a match and send her on her merry way._

Eric has never been this deliriously happy ever, alive or undead.

It must be what drug addicts experience during their high, because right now he wanted to skip, sing, twirl and pick flowers to weave into crowns, like a weed reeking hippy throwing peace signs.

Eric did not know if he should laugh or cry.

All that he was certain of, is that he has done something right, obviously, in one of his previous lives for the Gods to bestow this precious gift on him and he was going to spend every single night of his eternal existence to giving thanks.

He leaned down and gently pecked each of HIS girls before he kissed her lips and each of the kids' foreheads.

If he was not in a hurry he would have personally tended to each one of their injuries with his healing saliva, but since he never encountered whatever it was that was happening to them he did not want to risk turning them by giving them his remedial blood before consulting with the annoying miniature troll.

Eric gently and carefully picked up the children and the instant they were in his arms with their little heads buried in the crook of his neck, a feeling he never before had experienced enveloped him. The closest would be of what he remembered he felt whilst sitting on the shore on a warm summer's day and watching the long-ships dance across the water before he was deemed man enough to join them. Peaceful. Happy. Warm. Contented.

_Was he still a Vampire? What was happening to him?_

He pulled down the back seat flap of the soccer mom minivan and laid each child down, returning less than a second with _their mother_. For once he could not snipe Pam's choice of vehicle. It was practical. He smiled. He may need to look at getting one now, what with all his passengers. He shook his head. Three words: male = SUV. He was clinging to HIS Angel holding her tightly to his chest, as if this were some kind of cruel joke and karma will spit in his face any second and fly away with all of them, never to be seen again. He was incredibly tender and careful with their bodies, as if they were the most precious cargo in the world. He smiled, to him they were, and so, so much more.

"Oh, Lover, what mysteries do you hold?"

One thing was sure, undead life would never be boring again.

Of course he could not resist and pulled her dress further down to make sure his new BFFs, aka the girls, aka the most gorgeous tits were free to breathe. If he was sure he could control himself he would have freed their big sister of the torture contraption of undergarments and lift her dress up, hell, get rid of the offensive pieces all together. Eric smiled and licked his lips envisioning her naked and spread eagled before him. It made him purr.

The drive to his house was spent in a silent conversation with HIS girls, as they readily agreed with all of his decisions by bouncing with glee up and down, with each and every one of their approvals. He did glance a handful of times at the road, just as a courtesy to the other drivers, who could not fathom how he can drive with his whole upper body twisted and leaning between the front seats. The dimwitted breather drivers would jerk and swerve in fear. Little did they know, a vampire could drive across the country blindfolded and with earplugs in without a single accident. Case in point, he had yet to wreck a car and he had been driving for over a century now. Since he never would drive less than a hundred miles per hour the ride was way too short for his liking. By the time he opened the door to start carrying them to their new home Eric started to panic. Surely this was not normal and they should have woken by now.

He did not want the little hobbit anywhere near his resting chamber so he wasted no time vamping them into the largest bedroom upstairs. He could hear the work being done downstairs on their new suites. It made him smile like a loon. He had not smiled so much, genuinely delighted smiles at that, in a single night in over millennium. It felt like that smile, was plastered across his face like a permanent tattoo.

Vampires, Supernatural creatures in general, were by no mean prudes or even slightly modest, but they were the most selfish and possessive creatures. Although very reluctant to see them go, he covered the girls after giving them a thorough goodbye and a lengthy promise that it would not be long before they see each other again for a lengthy undisturbed play date. Just as he was finishing he heard the sound of a pop announcing Ludwig's arrival in the room. He hated anyone who can teleport. Yes. There may be a smidge of covetousness. He did not even know Ludwig could move that fast. Before he could even rise to his full height and register her movements she was standing on the nightstand by the bed which put her height (less than three and half feet) at perfect eye level to his seriously impressive six foot five inches and she was not one bit intimidated by it, as she maliciously growled in his face.

"Viking, you have exactly two seconds to explain why you have _THOSE_ _PARTICULAR_ three fairies in your bed and it better be Armageddon, end of the fucking Universe, good, before you _NEVER_ see them again."

...

...**So please, please, please let me know what you think. If I should keep going or call it a day, just go ahead and give it to me straight. First time writing, so yeah... I swear I am trying my best for you guys and a million thanks to jules3677 and treewitch7031 for their help.**


	3. Lights out, asshole!

**Ok, first I want to thank each and every one of you, who have decided to take this journey on the crazy train of AU with me :) Second, I can't even find words to describe, how much your comments mean to me or how they motivate me to keep going, _so please don't be shy on me guys_. Last, but not least my lovely betas ****jules3677 and treewitch7031 ****ROCK!**

**I know everyone expects me to jump right where I left it off w/ Ludwig (don't freak out people it's further down in this chapter) but first I wanted to have some fun with _Miss Pam wham thank you ma'am_.**

**So, fasten your seat belts, make sure to keep your hands and feet on the designated areas and here we goooo…. Enjoy :)**

…

What a fucking zombie mess! A downright zombie apocalypse! Hysterical punctured bloodbags running around aimlessly in every possible trajectory, whilst screeching like deranged banshees. A heavy cloud of smoke and particles of debris were still raining down, like the great flood decided to make an impromptu pit stop in front of Fangtasia. The asphalt pavement was covered with blood, numerous mutilated bodies, as well as parts and pieces just recently attached to the aforementioned, all scattered about like _blood_crumbs to complete this_ picturesque landscape_.

The three lucky vampires on duty this humid, late June Louisiana night, were heavily making out (OK fine, let's just call it for what it really was: they were fucking them mercilessly) and feeding on random, more than willing, fangbangers who obviously were too dense to realize the danger they were in. Thanks to the bloodbags _willing_ stupidity, said vampires were on the verge of igniting one hell of a Supernatural bacchanalia.

If only the _liberals_ on Fox News could get their hands on that footage. Pam snickered envisaging Bill O'Reilly playing commentator to, oh say, the last vampire/fairy war. Sigh. She unfortunately was not even born then, but the tales of the orgies, which took place in the midst of the mayhem, were legendary. Eric, of course never missed pointing out to her that he started half of those _wassails_. Sigh, again.

On top of all tonight's havoc one scorched, out of town, dim vampire lay stuck under a blown-to-shits black smoldering van. Which had somehow reared itself onto the front façade of the bar, seeing how it was missing a driver or even a passenger's carcass and there was no chance for any human to walk away from this scene unscathed. The vampire was missing the lower parts of both legs and one hand, and was trying in vain to get his good hand onto any viable blood source. Guess that would be a good starting place as any to proceed carrying out Eric's orders.

Pam vamped and grabbed the deranged vampire from under the scorched van, she hissed at the burn she received from touching the hot metal. She really hated fire in any form, just like any normal self-respecting vampire. Thank you, Sir Humphry Davy, for bringing us out of the dark ages and pissing all over the malodorous fire torches and gas lamps. If she still had a need for said human bodily function she would have happily joined him in his grand celebration. Meanwhile the ungrateful handicapped cretin was trying to fight her for her neck, of all things and got himself a venomous growl and a perfectly manicured right hook, successfully severing his spinal cord, putting him indubitably out of a commission for the rest of the night. The vampire does not fall far from its Maker; she too had zero patience policy on stupidity. Lights out, asshole!

Ungrateful little shit! There is no pleasing some people these days.

She vamped to Long Shadow next, with the visiting vampire dangling in her right hand and grabbed him by the neck with her left, just as he was about to reverse position and start ramming some fangbanger from behind, taking all three of them far away from the surrounding bedlam.

"What the FU…?"

"Shut the fuck up, unless you want me to take you out too!" with that Pam unceremoniously threw the proof to her threat at his feet.

"Bitch!"

"Well, thank you." She gave him her sweetest fang smile for his wonderful compliment, which was still way far off from anything sweet. "Summon the others."

She kicked the head of the incapacitated sorry excuse for a vampire sprawled at her feet in heart-felt gratitude for ruining her Goth getup. If it was not for Eric's offensive dress code requirement she would never allow such atrocities to touch her cold skin. That was when she noticed four humans, on the opposite side of the chaos, fearfully observing her while hesitantly trying to retreat inside a black van, same make and model as the one currently redecorating the front of Fangtasia.

Motherfuckers! Could they really be that stupid?

They should have left before their little _bombing_ handiwork was even a figment of their thoughtless imagination. She had the three enormous brutes instantly taken care of with a right, left, right and a thump to the head knockout sequence, but the fourth had obviously more extensive military training, because he actually managed to shoot her in the right shoulder with a WOODEN bullet during their scuffle. Once Eric finds out about this he will never let her hear the end of it. Argh! To say that she was outraged would be the understatement of the year. As if! She did not even think twice before she was tearing into his neck and ripping him limb from limb. She did learn from one of the best after all. Imbecile, that would teach him not to mess with his superiors. Lights fucking OUT, asshole!

In less than two seconds he was nothing but a pile of bloody fragments. She looked to the right and saw Long Shadow, Thalia and Felicia doing their best to drain his compadres.

"Do not kill them! Felicia, take them all to Warehouse 3 for questioning. Make sure to double check for weapons. Fucker got me with a wooden bullet." Of course after her mini banquet her shoulder looked as good as ever, with only traces of smeared blood.

That had the present vampires hiss and ready to go on attack again. Thalia, as per her usual, needed an incentive to halt her actions. Therefore, Pam had to quickly rip the idiot from her death grip and tossed him over her head like a sack of potatoes. He landed on the ground with a satisfying bone crunching thud. Sigh. Seems like Pam was going to have her hands full of dimwits at every turn tonight. Sigh again. Like seriously, the last thing she needed right now was to have to defend the bloodbags from what should have been their _more than warranted _demise.

"Long Shadow, strip their car of any useful intel and bring it to the middle entrance of the parking lot. Felicia, secure Master's office and anything salvageable from the basement, bring it all to Warehouse 3. Anything that is too far gone, scatter around the front of Fangtasia (code for kill any prisoner that looks like would not stand even an hour of torture). Thalia, call everyone to come to Fangtasia for assistance and to clean this mess." She kicked what used to be parts of her assailant from her boots and she was off to the next task, which she still could not wrap her head around.

Eric was acting like he was going to keep the three breathers who were stashed in the woods, permanently. Sure they smelled divine, but who wants the headache of keeping pets around? He never did!

Pamela Ravenscroft lifted her flawlessly shaped right eyebrow in utter disbelief. No way did this yellow boneshaker pass its DMV annual safety and emissions inspection. Blasting the shit out of it was actually disrespectful to the three explosive devices she was currently holding. Where would her genius Maker stash said explosives? But of course, where else, in his beloved Bertha. It was a stroke of pure luck the bombing was directed to the front of the club and not effective enough to impinge on the employee parking lot behind the now half leveled building. Shreveport, Louisiana, was safe for another night, it seemed.

Shaking her head she used her strength to rip the car door open, but not even the sweet aroma of their three strange captives coupled with the lingering fragrance of warm sunshine could compensate for the rancid stench of snot, spew, piss and feces. It hit her like a derailed freight train on a mission. If she was not a vampire she was sure she would have been gagging by now. She was never a fan of the human lunchables and there was your reason why. Just for having to maneuver the offensive yellow rustic _shit_marine across the strip mall Eric should reward her with the next hundred years of Fendi's Fall and Winter collections, at the very least.

She exited the deathtrap quicker than a speeding bullet and rummaged through the shopping bag, she found close by for any identification. Once she had the driving license in her hand she hurled the remaining contents in the passenger seat, shut the door with as much force without it falling off. She would never get the putrid stench out of her hair, she was certain of it. Nasty micro hominids should have just stayed in the trees, where they belong. (Word to the wise, if you are into the new age trend of smart healthy living, a good way to achieve that is by never reminding Pam, that she too was part of the herd at one time.) And what the fuck is a Sookie? Even the almighty Google was scratching its head dumbfounded after her quick reference search. 0 results found, check your spelling. Thanks asshole. Were her parents tripping on some heavy-duty acid when that stroke of a pure genius hit them! Were they that redneck illiterate that they could not manage to spell a cookie? Sookie, fo' real? Like seriously? Welcome to bumfuck Louisiana, ladies and gentlemen!

She looked at Long Shadow impatiently waiting for her by the black van and started devising a plan of action.

"Check with Felicia if any of the basement merchandise has expired and bring me ones resembling a young female and two snack packs. I need them for unidentifiable ashes worth of 144, 36 and 18 lbs. of body weight" the whole statement was delivered in perfect German, which Pam knew he was fluent in.

"We took care of a female drainer earlier today that will do, but where the fuck do you want me to get you two juice boxes, it's not like they come to play hopscotch on the dance floor every night." he hissed back in Mandarin just to piss her off, because everyone knew that to this day, she never could get her conjugations correct.

"Use your pathetic imagination asshole; repackage a worthless bloodbag into the approximate quantities, glamour a crackhead fangbanger into snorting the excess cinders, just prove you are not utterly incompetent. You have less than 15 seconds. In no more than three minutes the Police and fire trucks will be here." She sassed right back in her usual bored tone. Why does she always get stuck dealing with the utmost inanity?

Pam wasted no time arranging two of the bombs in the yellow poor excuse for transportation and the third in the black van, dousing them with as much gas she could get her hands on from nearby cars; they can call for a taxi, ambulance or a hearse for all she cared. Any self-respecting vampire had his trunk fitted out with a full arsenal of silver, iron, gold, wooden and titanium weapons, a gas can, a fire torch, cash in a minimum 5 different currencies, a change of clothes and fake ID papers just for emergencies such as this or maybe that was the paranoia of her Maker. Either way she was thankful for his resourcefulness, no one was ever going to catch her with her Agent Provocateur panties down. She called Thalia to instruct her to retrieve and secure the one bomb still remaining in Eric's beloved Bertha. _God help us all, if it goes off_. Pam shuddered at the thought. She may be a spoiled brat as he claimed, but she was not suicidal.

Next, she called Spider, a mastermind, weird as fuck, hacker, that is putting it politely, to gather a full report together of one Sookie Stackhouse from Bon Temps, Louisiana, wherever the fuck that was, and anyone and anything remotely related to her. His services were not cheap, he did not lift his pinky for anything less than a hundred grand, but he was impeccable at his job. Never asked questions and kept his trap shut at all times, a must when dealing with her kind, all thanks to the fact no one knew where the fucker resided. Genius, indeed. Once your money transfer was cleared, you say jump, he asks how high? In less than 47 seconds her phone was already beeping with his preliminary report of 35 pages.

This should have been Bobby's job, but Eric's dayman was proving to be incapable of following even the simplest directions (how does one screw up dry-cleaning, really?) or showing any thought processes for that matter. Case in point, the moron thought that it was acceptable to shop for her Maker at Armani _Exchange_ for a Christmas gift, nonetheless. Just the store name itself was an indication such an act was deplorable. Over her true dead body would her Maker be caught in anything less than a Dormeuil tailored work of Art. Did Eric really strike him like he celebrated baby Jesus birthday or maybe he looked like he was into drinking eggnog and wassailing carols to the local vermin? One of these days she was going to permanently shut his lights out that was for damn sure. Still, Eric claimed him to be a loyal subject. Sigh.

After Long Shadow arrived with what used to look like a young female and a male in his mid-teens they got to work in staging the fateful scene of Sookie Stackhouse and her children's tragic deaths. Ever since the Great Reveal, drainers of all ages seems to think they can dabble in vampire blood and live to boast about it. All they did was provide vampires with endless torture entertainment with a zero survival rate. It did not take the two vampires long to finish their task, vampires seemed to rise after being turned with a sixth sense in how to cover their tracks. Though CSI was proving to be one truly dreadful bitch in the last couple of decades. Still, the Supernatural world had millennia of practice on humans. Your lights never even went on, morons!

Finally to the jubilant part of the night, was all Pam could think, as she and Long Shadow kicked with all their might the two vehicles straight into one another, right after they threw a lit match in their gas tanks. They even had the forethought to stuff the van with any expired merchandise (a.k.a. prisoners) from the basement. The whole thing lit like the Fourth of July making her squawk and clap, like a true lunatic. She despised fire but she worshiped fireworks, go figure.

Thalia and the eleven vampires she summoned now looked at her as though she had grown a fifth head. Screw them, she was not going to let some stuck up vampires shit on her parade. How often do you get to scream _Yeah, Get Some!_ in earnest? Ever since Eric made her sit through that dreadful Generation Kill excuse for a TV miniseries, she wanted to say it.

It was her turn to pick a movie that night, damn it. She would never understand his fascination with everything and anything war or military related. Know thy enemy, her ass, they saw less than ten minutes of action in the three months of their platoon spearheading the war or in the seven hours of her undead life that she would never get back and that is not counting how many times they got lost en route to their targets.

Plus she was still adamant the main character was his long lost brother from another mother, no matter how much he claimed the Viking sex God that was Eric Northman has never had nor would he ever have even a _close_ equal. Sadly, she still had work to do and no time to truly enjoy the chaos of now unequivocally panic-stricken bloodbags. She vamped to the closest ten humans and got them instantly under her glamour.

"You will swear to the human authorities that you witnessed a blonde mother and her two young children were trying to drive out of the parking lot, when a black van intercepted them resulting in this massive explosion."

She turned to the vampires and commanded "Make sure all who saw the cars explode will attest to this as well."

Pam did a quick vamp sprint through the bedlam of earsplitting racket, bloody and sobbing vermin to assess the situation and called her Maker with her report. She quickly relayed all his orders to the now seventeen assembled vampires and did not wait the 3 minutes and 58 seconds for the human authorities to finally show up and start hauling the idiots away from her. She was thisclose to losing her last practice of patience and permanently shutting them all the hell up too. It took a full 5 minutes and 21 seconds for the first responders to finally make it there after the floodgates of hell burst that night, pathetic in sooth. Vampire Police force was on the scene less than a minute and 28 seconds covering up exposure of any and all vampire businesses as well as doing the human authority's jobs. Humans should really enlist more of their Supernatural counterparts for emergency services, yeah right, like that would ever happen. Thus, she had no quarrel leaving Long Shadow and Indira in charge to deal with that bag of incompetence.

Pam could not wait any longer to get on with the best part of the night; shopping and redecorating, albeit for outrageously fetid anthropoid dwarfs. She had the sinking feeling that it would be an eternity until she would be given the chance to indulge herself in her favorite pastime activity again, if ever. Heavy-duty sigh. Using the Bluetooth in Big Bertha she called her least favorite person on the planet.

"Dog, I am assuming you are dutifully paying off your Pack's debt working on my Master's house as we speak?" she asked in the most cheerful sounding voice of a true shopaholic during NY Fashion Week.

"I have a name, _Pamela._" Alcide Herveaux growled back at her.

He could not stand the bloodsucking bitch and still could not fathom why a vampire would ever need a four story plantation mansion with outdoor and underground sea salt heated pools, saunas, a bowling alley, a movie theater and all kinds of crazy unnecessary shit; it is not like they are a neighborly bunch throwing Super Bowl rally parties for everyone in the area.

Thank God for small favors making sure they shoot blanks. Just the thought of a bloodsucker with a house full of vamping fang-tykes in diapers gave him the shivers.

What, a hole in the ground or a snug coffin not good enough for Northman? He had been stuck, with his crew, in this God forsaken monstrosity of a house for over week now and still had another week to go. The fuckers would not let them leave the premises, working 24/7 and he would bet his right canine testicle, it was all due to her creepy fashionista ass, he doubted Northman would even set foot in here.

"That you do, puppy, but you also never skip wearing your rancid pelt every full moon", Pam would never miss a jab at a lowlife werewolf, plus, he set himself up for that one.

"What do you want bloodsucker?" he snarled.

"Are you all done with the underground layer?"

"Yeah, we finished it today at noon, we are working on his greenhouse right now, next is the wood workshop and then his _art_ _studio_" he snickered.

Well, he would not be giggling like a schoolgirl for long, after Eric glamoured any information pertaining to the house out of them. Moronic Frisbee chasers.

"Wonderful. Now, remove all furniture and start priming the walls of the three bedrooms to the right of his day chamber for new color themes and start planning to turn the adjoining bathrooms into fully functioning human lavatory facilities, you have until dawn for them to be fully finished."

He was too stunned to respond, plus she hung up on him, as always.

By the time she got to the house, Pam had summoned her top three choices of interior decorators and perused over seventeen high end designer websites on her iPhone and the tablet he left in his car. Undead life could not be better right now, that is until she giddily vamped in the upstairs bedroom only to witness Ludwig lethally growling in Eric's face.

"Viking, you have exactly two seconds to explain yourself of why you have _THOSE_ _PARTICULAR_ three fairies in your bed and it better be Armageddon, end of the fucking Universe, good, before you _NEVER_ see them again."

All Pam could do is drop her fangs and look dreamily at the three comatose bodies spread on the enormous bed in front of her, like a delicious all you can eat buffet.

"Fairies!" her voice was all but a ghostly whisper, unable to hide her overwhelming hunger.

That snapped her Maker and the little gnome doctor from their mutual murderous regard and Eric was on her for a second time tonight, this time crushing her windpipe like a pathetically friable twig.

"Leave! Go to your task and speak to no one of this." He snarled and the tone of voice screamed _bloody and painful murder._

Pam was gone in less than a blink of an eye, she was not going to touch this Norse shipping container of fairy blood formerly known as her Maker, The Viking Eric Northman. She was gone in less than a blink of an eye. No wonder Eric has been acting like a possessed maniac. The emotions she was feeling through their bond for the last ten minutes were all over the place and as close to a crack cocaine addict on the trip of his life as a vampire could get without actually draining a full blooded fairy. Their blood was literally vampire crack. Yum! It really stung that she was under her Maker's Command to stay away from their ambrosial blood.

"One Mississippi, t…" Ludwig counted, completely ignoring the Supernatural family disturbance call playing out in front of her. Vampires. Were you expecting a five minute timeout facing the corner? She had shit to do and was in the process of hopping on the bed to secure her patients. She will send him his bill through .

Eric did not give her a chance to finish counting as he attacked her with all his might. She was bat shit, out of her ever loving fucking mind, crazy, if she thought he was going to allow her to take HIS breathers away from him. They were HIS family now. He pounced on her like a lion on a pack of hyenas with the strength of a fully demented berserker; all he saw was bright jam-packed red. Eric had never felt such fervent bloodlust, it was otherworldly intense and in retrospect he should have known better.

Seeing how the irreplaceable Supernatural healer, respected by all, never took a stand in any conflicts or politics, a protective force field of blinding yellow light flung him rearwards with the power of a nuclear bomb. It happened so unexpectedly and so fast, he could not swear if indeed she did put her wrinkled index digit over his heart or if he ever got so much as within five feet near her. Her impressive Jedi mind control, if it was even her _Force_ doing it, had him catapulting through the opposite wall, hallway corridor, and straight through the wall of the adjacent bedroom like a dirty rag doll. Whatever magic she unleashed had him pinned down, spread eagled for all the world to see, five feet off the floor against the wall and utterly immobilized. Eric snarled savagely and tried in vain to even twitch a pinky. This might be the first time for Eric the Norseman to actually feel despair, his wild untamable beast and true Warrior spirit would never allow for such thing, not even when set to face enemies centuries older than him. But the overwhelming panic that he may lose HIS family, he just found them, all the Gods be damned. NO! He will not allow himself to even venture down that road, NO ONE took from him and lived to tell about it.

Pam was at his side before he even made final contact with the wall and he sent her a warning to get out of there through their bond, he will send for her as soon as he had devised a plan and gained the upper hand. She hesitated to leave him so vulnerable and this time he used a heavyweight Maker's reverse call through their bond and sent her flying far from this crazy pandemonium. As she was being ripped away by an invisible force, she did manage to make a mental note to add to the never ending construction list for Alcide to patch the gigantic holes in the shape of one uber-pissed off Viking. It was nice knowing you doc, not!

"Are you fucking kidding me Northman?" Ludwig was not even the least bit fazed.

"I swear to all the Gods of Asgard, I AM GOING TO KILL you Ludwig, I will hunt you down like a fucking pathetic animal even in sunny bright Faerie, there will be no place in all the worlds for you to hide from me and mine, I will never rest until I obliterate you and anyone or anything even remotely close to you, your fucking milkman isn't ….." Eric boomed, but Ludwig just tuned him out, like an annoying infomercial.

Eric was roaring with so much venom in his voice, the house was shaking down to its foundation, plaster was falling off the walls like a sand castle in a rain storm. He was fighting with more strength that he knew he had and managed to actually gain a foot in her direction. The little doctor paid him no mind as she arranged to grab Sookie's hand in her right as she leaned to the left to take Hunter's and Addy's in her other.

"FUCK OFF, Viking! I'll like to see you try." She taunted.

At the precise moment she was gathering magic to teleport them, her black leather Gladstone like bag, which she had abandoned on the floor when she first entered this cockamamie situation, busted open discharging a glowing rondure. It was blinding in its bright breathtaking appearance with the likes and beauty of the sun itself. The power and odor of magic was so dense it was suffocating, any being not of Supernatural nature would have been annihilated instantaneously. The force was so immense that it sent Pam and the whole work crew well outside the boundary of the property lines. It surrounded the house in a clearly visible sun sphere, even to the naked human eye. Pam just sat there observing, dumbfounded, in awe of how to assist with whatever Eric had gotten himself into. She tried to rush to him, but whatever ward was in effect did not burn her, nonetheless it would not allow her to advance a millimeter either.

This time it was Ludwig's turn to be forcefully ripped through the air landing her directly in front of her medical bag with a thump. If Eric was not temporarily knocked out he would have sneered in pure glee. The only thought that went through his mind as the light engulfed him and repelled him backwards was that this was not even close to the end. He would find a way to come back and get HIS family and rip the little hobgoblin limb by fucking limb, bathe and dance in her blood. As he snapped back to reality a second later in total shock of his impeccably preserved body, the first thing he noticed was that all the injuries to each of the three family members had finally stopped bleeding and they were now out of danger of succumbing to excessive blood loss. He watched in wonder as a large gold crystal stone, likes of which he has never witnessed before, floated upwards and landed in Ludwig's outreached left palm.

"How may I be of service to Thee My ….."

Whoever she was communicating with must have cut her off because all she did was bow her head in submission and stayed silent and motionless for a long time only occasionally sparing a glance towards the little family of three still spent telepaths ending each time with a slight confirmation nod. Eric put all his concentration into hearing what was being said, but it was absolutely futile, all he was privy to was her responses.

"Yes."

Silence.

"No."

Again nothing but silence.

"Yes."

More fucking SILENCE.

"As you wish." Ludwig threw an extremely suspicious glance at Eric as she continued speaking in an utmost serious tenor. "I hereby pledge MINE, life and loyalty, to THEM and vow to THEE, no harm will come from I." She bowed low with all sincerity.

Again with the cryptic shit, someone better start singing like a canary or heads will roll!

"A quick advance warning would have be…." she was once again brought to a deadly halt as she lowered her whole body even further in an utmost respectful bow.

Whatever was happening was of epic magnitude, to say the least and this really started to unnerve Eric. You do not lightheartedly pledge loyalty to anyone in the Supernatural world, any form of waiver to such act is to sign one's death warrant. He did not give a single shit who was pledging fealty to whom, all he was certain of was that they were HIS family and no one was taking them anywhere without HIS permission.

"I apologize, I meant no disrespect." was her quick show of total obedience.

It tickled Eric's funny bone to see the little hell troll bend over ready for a spanking and he could not help but sneer at her, earning him a look that could kill in return.

That put Eric slightly at ease but his unceasing effort to free himself and take them all to safety redoubled when three pulsing bright orbs shot out of the crystal and advanced towards the peacefully sprawled bodies. His panic over the unprecedented scene was back and in triple force. He fought and watched helplessly as each orb settled above its corresponding telepath under the vigilant supervision of the sun bright rondure and started to enlarge and pulsate faster and faster, as if they were breathing heavily in preparation for something not very pleasant to commence. With a final enormous harmonized pulse they forced all three telepaths to violently arch forward and as if performing a trick by lure pulled three small pulsating sun orbs from their chests right where their hearts were located. This could not be good, was all Eric could think and continued to pray that this would not be the last image of them he was left with as he slipped back to his dead and cold eternal existence, which would undoubtedly be as such, if he did not find a way to permanently secure their warmth to him. The larger three orbs hovering above the smaller ones darted towards the breathtaking (though terrifying) sunny rondure and combined with it in a blinding exposure, successfully creating one large ray of light sunny globe. To the human eye it would have been missed, but he could clearly see a throbbing Waning Gibbous with its own black ray in the center of the now big sun luminous rondure.

Eric whimpered as he watched their faces take on a painful state as their little sun spheres advanced up their bodies in the direction of their brows. Their action started to mimic the previous three larger orbs, as if they had formal training of years doing so and could graciously and fluently perform with their eyes closed. The three orbs started pulsating also in a steadily faster and faster cadence and flowed backwards in the air like they had woven an invisible thread around their targets and were pulling them out in the open. First was Sookie's small radiating Waning Gibbous to emerge from her forehead and steadily advance towards the small sunny orb awaiting its fusion. However, as soon as the process began to duplicate in action with the children, Sookie eyes snapped wide open with no detectable life inside them and violently started to fight against the unknown to her, or Eric, ritual. No sound was coming from her, she was just as deathly silent as before, but her whole body thrashed and convulsed with brutal force almost shattering her bones in the process, white foam started running from her mouth.

"Shit!" Ludwig whispered in a ghastly defeated tone as the large luminescing globe instantly ceased any further action and dwindled to half its size.

All the small sunny orbs instantly returned in their original places, aligned with the once again motionless family of three. Only the foam running down Sookie's cheek was evidence that anything toxic had taken place.

Eric roared a ferocious Warrior's cry for battle, not heard by humans in over a thousand years. He lost it completely, when he saw the first sign of distress in Sookie. His inner beast tore through him like an untamable and viciously rabid animal demanding the death of everything in its path. Not even halfway through Sookie's frantic reaction that lasted but a second, he was ripping at the force holding him back like it was some sort of a bad joke. He did not know nor cared how he was capable of extracting a pure black pellet of energy from his chest cavity sending all furniture flying at an ungodly speed in all directions. Eric looked like he was the eye of a tornado and nothing in his path stood chance for survival. He had crossed the length of the two bedrooms and was mere inch away from taking his revenge on Ludwig when she screamed in full horror.

"Little help over here!"

The sun luminescing rondure precipitously absorbed the dark energy in its entirety and forced it back into Eric making him double over in pain. It was as if his heart had been torn apart twice in less than a second and now it was contracting heavily like he was trying to catch his breath, something utterly foreign to his millennial existence. He once again found himself restrained of any movement. At least he was physically closer to HIS family now.

"I will fucking kill all of you, I will find you and …." He boomed.

Well the sunny rondure obviously had no patience for Eric either, as it shoved a small extension of itself down his throat and effortlessly silencing his tirade. Eric hissed in menace as it scorched his throat. It too had shit to complete and babysitting a dimwitted vampire was by no means part of its job description, so it graciously flowed back to Ludwig leaving him to sulk all by his deserted lonesome. She extended her free right hand to it and two small glass vials of different fluorescent substances appeared in it. One was green and the other one sky blue, she stashed them wordlessly in her pocket as she went to her bag to return the crystal she has been holding and retrieve a couple of pouches of what smelt like medicinal herbs. She teleported herself into the middle of the bed and poured a single drop of the green liquid in each of the three telepaths mouths, which had Eric intensify his fight belligerently against, whatever was restraining him, all over again. He did not trust anything these two wackos were trying to do and if they harmed his Angel in any shape or form again, nothing was going to stop him from killing them after painfully torturing them for an eternity.

The large sun bright rondure pulsed, as if more than just annoyed with him at this point and started gliding him through the air towards the bed. Eric ceased all combat and gratefully accepted its decision. He was settled not so graciously against the headboard with a loud bang to his thick head, his legs were spread open with a rough kick to each and making Ludwig snicker, to which Eric just smiled and purred in response. He was finally getting his wishes answered and actually blew raspberries and stuck his tongue out at her in victory as Sookie was gently lifted and positioned to lay on her stomach between his feet with her face across his chest followed by Hunter and Addy landing in each of his awaiting arms as he tightly hugged them to his cold body. Finally! He sighed in unrestrained delight. He stretched his gigantic arms and lovingly started petting his perfect girls (AKA the most magnificent tits in all the worlds), he truly missed them being so far away for so long. He purred and vibrated in unadulterated joy and rubbed his face all over the three telepaths marking them with his scent. Ludwig just shook her head in utter disbelief at his childish behavior, if only she had taken a video, she would have made a killing. Eric was just about to clean the white dry crust of foam around Sookie's mouth by licking it diligently when Ludwig screamed in fear.

"Stop! Tell me you have not taken any of their blood, Viking." Her tone was colder than ice.

"Why?" Who the hell was she to tell him what he can and cannot do with them, they were HIS to do as he please.

"Just answer the question vampire." the little doctor hissed impatiently as the rondure started to illuminate brighter and brighter.

"She had passed out and I didn't wanted her to deteriorate from massive blood loss, so I cleaned her deepest gash" Eric tried to defend himself, yeah even to him it sounded lame. Though he was not lying _per se_, it was the logic behind closing that specific injury after all.

The sunny rondure started throbbing in pure anger and purposely darted away from Eric before it gave him a piece of its mind, if it did there would not be much of Viking left. Ludwig quickly followed it and stretched her arm to receive another small vial, this one filled with a fluorescent magenta, almost blindingly pink in nature.

"Get up Viking"

Eric made no attempt whatsoever to leave his comfy place of being squished under HIS family, plus he was on a playdate with the girls. He was too high on joy of having the three of them finally in his arms, if anything he was annoyed that they still had not woken up. He should have been already playing tug -of- war with HIS little boy whilst mercilessly tickling HIS little girl, all the while being showered with feather like kisses from their mother.

"Unless you have a death wish of being slowly turned into a delirious lunatic or get so lucky to only receive the beating of your undead life by THEE, I sincerely recommend you get your pesky ass over here vampire!"

"Do I really have to?" Eric whined worse than any two year old and all but stamped his foot in protest.

Maybe the little hell troll had a point something was definitely out of whack with him.

The sunny rondure was done with his little charade and literally teleported his ungrateful ass in front of Ludwig. Seeing how this was his first time riding the supersonic bullet train of the Supernatural world, without voluntarily purchasing his ticked he may add, Eric swayed from side to side in his dazed and confused state. Then Ludwig just had to put her hands on his abdomen and literally suck all the joy out of him. Eric hissed in pain. She had the worst bedside manner and she calls herself a doctor, his torture practices had more finesse than this.

"How long ago did you take her blood?"

"Why?" he was back to whining.

He just wanted to get back into bed with HIS family and his BFF's, dammit.

"So I can make a professional ratio calculation of time to proper antidote quantity" Ludwig hissed back annoyed.

Well, he was not that thrilled with her and her uninvited sidekick either, so they can pitch their own tents right next to his and join his exasperated party of one; watch how many fucks he gives. Eric did not answer her and just picked his phone out of his pocket, which miraculously was still intact and functioning after the mother of all wall smashing he had received earlier. He was going to double his stocks in Apple later tonight, for sure. Pam's vampire gift of dead accuracy in anything numerical was very handy as much as it was unbearably annoying most days.

"Pam, how long ago did you feel me cum harder than the Big Bang?" The memory put a smile on his face.

"16 minutes, 58 seconds. Eric, what the hell is..?" He promptly hung up on her and did not even bother relating the message. Any Supernatural creature would have been able to hear her loud and clear.

Ludwig narrowed her eyes at him halfway through his question, she wore an overall unreadable expression however. Eric just smiled brightly at her. She should have been there, it was nothing short of fucking PHENOMENAL. The sunny rondure though, was, plain as day, displaying its outrage and murderous fury by pulsing impossibly bright in his face by the time Pam started talking. The illumination was making Eric squint involuntarily, before it darted straight for Sookie to lovingly pat her face with its rays and hovered down her body to her lower abdomen. It was more than obvious to any Supe that it simply smelled her for evidence of Eric's _cum_tribution and when it moved to check the children Eric hissed and was just about to display his own outrage in a form of a single digit when Ludwig cut him off.

"Drink this!" she ordered as she handed him the small magenta phial.

Oookay, now we had a couple of problems here. First whoever issued her doctors degree was a total phony and a complete whack job or she skipped the full day of extensive lecturing, which covered the uber long text on a strict vampire diet that containing one single item: blood. Mostly whatever she was selling was fucking PINK of all colors and he was not buying it, not a chance it hell. There is a reason he had a healthy aversion to the said color, it was fucking GIRLY and he is all MAN, damn it. As if she had even the slightest clue to what he was thinking, he dropped his jeans to the floor in order to demonstrate the proof of all his Viking sex God magnificence, accompanied with a vigorous verbal declaration.

"No way!"

"Then have it your way fool." She answered in equal zeal.

Ludwig was asexual for sure, she looked at him with as much interest as anyone would when watching the weather channel. Next thing Eric knew she barely missed the barrel of his sterile baby maker by injecting a syringe full of pink liquid and emptying it directly into his dorsal vein. He may not need his remarkable equipment for the basic reproductive purposes, but that did not mean he was not committed to its well-being. You could say he devoted his whole undead life to proving its worthiness despite its shortcoming to produce little towheaded Vikings. This Viking has never had a single complaint against it, nothing less than A-one praises from all customers.

"What the fuck Ludwig?"

"You chose option B" she shrugged, as if where else would she administer the cure to his stupidity.

Uh, Eric could think of at least ten better places, nevertheless he could not deny to instantly starting to feel more like himself. Did he really blow raspberries at her less than a minute ago?

"Do not attempt to take any type of fluids from them until they wake."

"And the reason for that would be?" His patience with the little doctor was evaporating by the second.

"Because you are lucky you are not someone else or you would've dropped deader on the spot and in your case you have got what you deserved vampire, too bad we caught it so early." Her voice was drowning in disappointment.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Eric hissed.

"It means that their blood right now was slowly, but steadily making you high as a kite."

"And that would be bad because?" Eric looked at her utterly bewildered and seriously could not think of one single reason why that would be a bad idea and anything short of _this is fucking AWESOME_.

"Oh hey, if you want to start twirling and plucking flowers from your rose garden while singing_: It's a wonderful world after all_ while chit chatting with Dumbo and his pink elephant buddies or better yet attempt to win a philosophical debate with the local redneck scholars of why screwing with your sister or cousin doesn't constitute as _spreading them genes 'round_, don't let me stop you. Knock yourself out, tough guy."

Well, that fucking blows, what happened to gorging oneself on blood and good old orgies till dawn and no clue to who this Dumbo was or the song she was talking about. Eric may have pouted a little.

"Yeah, I thought so. Though I wouldn't mind watching you prank call The Council or The Pythoness to tell her to go suck on sunshine" she laughed and the sound was straight out petrifying. Eric was convinced she has never so much as cracked a smile in her life, because the whole deed looked out of place on her face.

OK, fine. Bad fucking idea, he got the point.

"Did anything traumatic happen before they became unresponsive?" Ludwig asked after she calmed, it took a while, but she finally got there.

"If you want to call bombing the shit out of some hundred worthless bloodbags, sure, something _traumatic_ happened. By which point these three decided to act like total nut cases. Any ideas as to why that was, oh wise doctor?"

"Shit, no wonder." She murmured.

Eric just cocked an eyebrow. He already was itching to kill her; she can't be that stupid, could she?

Four seconds, shitload of paperwork and in her case a fucking forest of paperwork.

"Yes, I do and no I'm not going to tell you what they are. It's for me to know and for you to find out."

"What the hell is wrong with them?" Eric boomed at her, he had lost all patience with the little hell troll.

"Calm the fuck down vampire. Nothing mentally is wrong with them. The problem with them is that they are at the gates of the Crease, stuck in the Total Eclipse." Ludwig said this way too fucking calmly for Eric's liking.

….

**OK, my friends now is the time to****_(_**_**pretty, pretty)**_**_please let me know what you think_****,****your comments truly motivate me and thank you for reading :)**


	4. The F you will!

**KIDS' MOTHER: I'm glad you guys are asking the questions I'm trying to steer you towards, although poor li'l Addy got snubbed somehow on that one, guess she doesn't count since she isn't in SVM. The answer to that mystical part of the story is not so black or white and we will be exploring this arc maybe longer than some of you may like to. I'll give you a hint: This is a VERY magical AU fiction, so let your imagination go and reach far above the stars. Way beyond the human scientific perceptions of paternal and maternal genetic contribution, biological or surrogate mothers, sperm donors, pregnancy duration and so forth and hopefully we meet at the end for a good stiff drink. Let the betting begin! (*in my defense a TB fae baked a bunch of them babies in a span of a few days and had orgasms, that put even pornstars to shame, while giving birth and who's to say that Sookie wasn't simply too selfish of her V-card and didn't ask Gran to do the heavy lifting for her, j/j in case you took me seriously on that last one)**

**OMG, you guys, one of my all-time idols of ****fanfic writers punched a ticket for this crazy AU train, totally having a fan girl moment over her, that should just tell you what my crazy a** will do if I ever get my hands on Eric's delicious behind. Yum! LOL**

**Manny thanks to jules3677 and treewitch7031 :)**

**Now let's get this train moving…. Hope you enjoy the ride, the scenery is spectacular I hear :)!**

**…**

Eric stared blankly at Dr. Ludwig, not a single twitch on his imperturbable expression or the slightest muscle tic on his body, one chiseled by the Gods themselves.

"Oh, _goody_, here I was going out my mind thinking: Could it be that they are stuck in some mystical place called the Total Eclipse, no one has ever heard of?" was his instant response with an uber calm demeanor, albeit doing nothing to subdue the raising panic within him or his all-consuming desire to immediately decapitate Ludwig.

Their bizarre interaction would have an onlooker deduce that she all but casually informed him that the family of three went for refreshing ice creams and will be back in a second. While, it just happened to dawn on Eric that they forgot to put sunscreen before they left the house: no biggie, just dab a little Aloe Vera on those bad boys when they get back, all blistered to hell and all will be swell with the world once again.

"No one said there isn't anything to worry about, assholio." Ludwig hissed exasperated. Growling her professional diagnosis of his perpetual condition, right back in his face.

Even a blind-deaf person could not miss the dislike and hostility between the two. One could go as far as declare it an outright war for supremacy and their conduct to be one of implacable hatred. No fluffy kittens or glitter pooping unicorns over here, more like nuclear bombs and biochemical weapons of mass destruction. The major problem with that: it was all of a Supernatural nature with the potential of getting extremely ugly, exceedingly fast. Their arsenals were far more diabolic than any human military possessed, one that the JSOC Seal Team Six would have a field day with, a guarantee that the entire Supe world would '_Get Some!'_.

The tension in the room could be sliced with a dull butter knife, it was that dense.

Yes, it was true, Ludwig did have an aversion to the children of the night, seeing how she fell from the distant branches of the sunny Faerie family tree. But, she has always been able to keep her dealings not only with vampires, but with all species, professional. Consequently she was met with the utmost respect throughout the Supe community. Something not easily achieved, seeing how vampires rose every nightfall with egos the size of the universe. Eric may not have liked the diminutive healer enough to extend a dinner invitation to her, but he too had always been able to keep their interactions amicable.

Not even during their second acquaintance many centuries ago, in which Eric found himself minutes or maybe even seconds away from a painful true death, did they either display so much odium or hurl insults and death threats towards one another and Eric was definitely feeling like lashing out at anything at the time. That was the only time Dr. Ludwig had ever expressed her true personal opinion of his grandiose self-image and only in an unsubtle proclamation of him being "an utter fool". The last thing Eric wanted to hear and still he held his tongue (for the most part, he did call her "an elevated midget wanna be" after all).

She did have a valid point, seeing how he was stuck in the frozen caves of the Himalayas after spending close to nine months and two trips around the globe as a High Enforcer in pursuit of a deranged vampire almost twice his age. Only to be lured into a trap and receive a rather nasty silver poisoning for all his efforts. It was his first assignment after all and Eric's last mistake.

Had it not been for his Maker, or the only one he considered as such, sensing Eric's discomfort through their bond and learning the details of his mission from The Pythoness, Eric would have died unremarked.

Of course The Old Bat was informed that, if Eric were to meet his true death she better start running and never stop. Though the words used were closer to her _Old Bat Ass_ better fly high in the sky and pray she does not run into the _sharpen end _of a tree branch. Something she was not over thrilled to hear. Like vamp daddy, like son, disrespectful and arrogant as they come.

Ultimately his Maker was successful in locating Eric, only to find him knocking at death's ice cold gates. Not an easy task to call for the Doctor's assistance, since cell phones did not even exist then even in the shape of a carryout suitcase along with the supplementary case housing its battery. Otherwise Eric was certain he would have perished no later than first sunlight. The harsh winter temperature muted his reluctant call for help and the cave's remote location made his rescue that much more complex.

Even then Dr. Ludwig and Eric were able to communicate like somewhat civilized beings. Mostly because of Eric having been able to metaphorically see the bright sunny light at the end of the tunnel for the impending demise of his target, what with his Maker declaring that he will be joining him on the hunt. No one messed with his beloved Childe!

However, tonight Ludwig and Eric's behaviors towards each other were anything but civil and Eric was not seeing anything close to a metaphorical bright light at the end of any tunnels.

Eric fancied himself an expert at any and all Supernatural matters, thanks to his Maker passing his vast knowledge to him. If he was at an utter loss at any point of reference, apropos the locality Ludwig so casually mentioned in passing, it all spelled nothing short of an unstoppable disaster. If his undead heart still beat, he was positive it would be going into a cardiac arrest at this very instant or at the very least pitifully trying to catch his breath in the midst of an epic panic attack. His inner beast was roaring at him, scratching and tearing at the cage confining it, seconds away from indulging in a killing spree. Earth may not even exist as a word in any language after his beast was done raining terror down upon it.

Panic and fear over the unknown fate of HIS family was a completely foreign emotion to both Eric and his untamable fiend, being the one in control was the only state they were familiar with. Yet, true to his vampiric nature no external disquiet was visible of his inner turmoil.

The breathtaking sunny rondure with the flawless beauty and grace of a song performed by Orpheus himself, glided through the air towards Eric and embraced him in its warm rays. It enveloped Eric in a soft blanket of internal peace, gifting him with the long forgotten healing power of the sun. It obviously was aware of the vampire's desperate need of a proverbial chill pill. However that did nothing but further infuriate Eric, like he needed a boost in Vitamin D anyway. He did not want to be calmed, he wanted answers and above all he wanted an immediate solution to HIS family's condition.

"Where is this place, The Total Eclipse, you speak of Ludwig? The explanation better be _summed_ in copious bulky tomes!" Eric boomed this time, at both her and her uninvited annoying dickhead sidekick.

Though silent as ever the sunny rondure pulsated more brightly, it obviously had something to say. Ludwig once again found herself in the thrall of a second laughing spell. This time she was laughing so hard, tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. It all looked no less fucking creepy on her as before. Eric was far from amused with both of their evident exhibitions of an unfortunate case of the _assholio ailment_.

Fucking great, _these two_ were the shitheads he was forced to work with? Just _fang-fucking-tastic_!

Eric kept mentally repeating his mantra of four seconds time he was giving them to pull their collective shit together and cease pissing him off. Plus, the forest size shitload of paperwork he would have to submit to the Supe Council, in triplicate, if he were to slay them. Only the Gods knew how much additional _bullshit-_work he would have to do for the case of little bouncy yo-yo shitface over there.

And we all know, there was nothing more this Viking hated than paperwork and the fucking rule stating that all submittals must be of not one, but three signed copies since the Great Reveal. Like he did not have better things to do with his time.

4 seconds, shitload of paperwork. 4 seconds, shitload of paperwork ….

"I swear to all Gods, Ludwig you've got less than a nanosecond, before I rip your head off and start practicing the full extent of my superior coordination skills as I claim the all-time championship in soccer" the last part was directed straight at said shithead, in a form of a sunny rondure.

The sunny fucker, whose gender or motives Eric still had not figured out was dancing through the air like it had no care in the world. Was this some kind of _fairy fuckary_ and this asshole was purposely pretending to be one of the leads on Disney On Ice? It sure as fuck it looked to Eric that the fucker was also under the influence of something and Ludwig needed to inject him with its own brand of antidote for stupidity. Pronto! Let see how dickhead likes the hell troll's bedside manners?

It was also more than obvious that said shithead had to be clued in what Eric was aiming for, because Ludwig had to quickly explain the threat of his statement and as a result found herself, yet again with a case of the schoolgirl giggles. All was shits and giggles with these two, which was the case with all morons until someone giggles and then shits.

For Eric that was it!

He advanced on the little hell troll, he would find the answers he desperately sought somewhere else. Ludwig wasted no time teleporting back to the bed, medical bag in hand, as she calmly addressed him.

"The Crease, the Fold, the Bend, as it has been referred under so many different names throughout the eons, is where THEY reside." She stated with a subtle connotation towards the sunny rondure. Had Eric not been a vampire he would have missed it.

"Where is it located?" he asked impatiently, he was already mentally packing his suitcase of needed weapons for all but an easy breezy vacay trip to go and retrieve HIS family back to where they rightfully belonged.

By HIS side, damn it!

"The fuck should I know, it's not like I have been invited for a tea party over there." Ludwig answered irritated at his naivety and utter stupidity.

"I swear …" Eric began, but she quickly cut him off.

"Vampire, the place or maybe even places we are talking about, and again I have only very limited knowledge of all this, is the space between realms, but more like between whole universes from my understanding." She rushed her words.

Eric showed absolutely no reaction to her words, he was the picture of perfect deathly stillness only a vampire could present when facing an apocalyptic disaster. Inside he was freaking THE FUCK out of what that could possibly imply for the condition of HIS family. Nothing remotely pleasant, he was convinced of at least that much.

This may have been the first time he was truly lost for words or any form of resolution. It was like he went into idle downtime, a place a vampire retreats to in between times of endless boredom waiting for eternal undead life to pick up speed again.

Well, shit! The owls were incontestably not what they seem.

"Who are THEY?" he asked hoping and praying that there lay the solution to this clusterfuck.

Ludwig did not answer him and only turned to the, all but forgotten, sunny rondure and it looked to Eric as they were having a silent conversation between themselves, fucking rude besties, until she turned and answered him in a very uneasy voice.

"Let's call them the Architects or better the Creators for all intense and purposes."

Eric was beyond infuriated at her never ending crappy game of cryptography.

"Are we talking Thomas Crapper here? The Creators of fucking what exactly, the fucking Tamagotchi, the…" Eric thundered vociferously and was in the course of jumping into yet another irritated tirade, until once again Dr. Ludwig irritably cut him off.

"Vampire, are you seriously going to act as if you are under the impression that we are even operating within the guidelines of the Chatham House Rule here, because if you are, you are not even in the ballpark parking lot or the same freaking dimension for that matter!"

Eric snarled, frustrated, short of putting his world famed expertise in torture to practice in order to extract information from them. Even then, it was no guarantee these two would stop recreating Silence of the Lambs or more like the Dumb and Dumber sequel.

"Vampire, you have been given all the information that THEY are willing to give. So be thankful THEY are giving you any, and, if I were you I would be concerned with how to get these three back to consciousness" she warned.

That snapped Eric back to the real issue. He has never felt this out of control before. Too much was riding on tonight's outcome for his always rational mind of the immaculate strategist to look at the situation objectively. That on itself infuriated him to no end.

"How did they get there and why are they stuck?"

"They are stuck because they have no formal training or knowledge of how to enter the Crease and as for how they arrived there? My guess is that in a state of panic, she was able to somehow tap into the hidden powers of their complex heritage. Impressive that one." Ludwig actually beheld Sookie with admiration, something very rarely, if ever, given to anyone by the tiny doc.

"What do you mean _their complex heritage_?" Count on Eric Northman to hear the subliminal slip of the tongue.

"Vampire, I am warning you to stop fishing around for information you are not fucking ready to hear." Fear was written all over her face and in her voice; clearly she revealed more than she was permitted to.

Well, boo-fucking-hoo, she may not be ready to spill the beans, but he was all ears. Eric was not feeling any sort of sympathy.

"What are they?" was his next question. He had shit to do, people to see as they say and no time for her enigmatic ass.

"Vampire, do you really believe I would answer that even if I knew?

"Fine and only for now, how do I get them back?"

Eric the Norseman never capitulated in pursuit of prey, he was an unrivaled schemer and knew all too well how to weigh his options. He knew when to surmise that exercising patience was the best call, even if it was enraging. The endgame was what mattered and he always came out on top.

"Again, how the fuck should I know? You saw her reaction to the only way I know of doing that." Ludwig's patience was wearing thin at his stupidity.

"There has got to be another way." This time Eric addressed the sunny rondure. He was wearing his expressionless vampire façade and his voice betrayed nothing. All his emotional detachment was just a self-defense mechanism, however in his own vampire way he was pleading for his audience's aid.

"Look, as much as you vampires are oblivious to this, there is such a thing as a freedom of choice. We cannot force her to come back or release the little ones and even if we could; the damages to all of them would be irreversible."

"What do you mean; release the little ones? Why would she be holding them somewhere that is potentially dangerous to them?"

That is not how one defended one's younglings. Nothing was making any sense to Eric, starting with the unwanted presence of sunny bright shithead, hovering midair.

"It is probably because that is the only way she found to shelter them from that reality."

"And how exactly did she achieve that? Reverse the damn process and get them back! Their mother obviously had no clue to what she was doing."

By the Gods, these two were not exhibiting any critical thought process.

"What the fuck do you think we were doing vampire?" Well, she had had it with him just as much.

"Yes, what precisely, were you two wackos trying to do?" Eric asked. The feeling was mutual.

Ludwig took a very long and deep breath, exhaled slowly and steadily, as if she was practicing yoga with none-other than the great Buddhist Nikayas, before addressing him.

"Are you familiar of what the Essential Spark is to the fae?"

"Yes." Eric countered immediately, though really who knew with those secretive fuckers. The CIA black ops looked like a gossip fest in comparison to them. All he knew was that the term was something connected, somehow with their magical essence.

"What you saw in the physical bright sunny orb like forms were their Essential Sparks, which are the core of their magical verve. I am sure you are aware by now, they are no ordinary _fae_. They possess a second more powerful, uhh and I am just theorizing here, but let's again call it a second Sentient Spark, their conscious and/or subconscious awareness. The two Sparks are inevitably intertwined within each other." The way she said _fae_ made Eric to suspect that labeling them as such was a straight Supe _CIA_ cover-up, if he ever saw one.

"Are you referring to their Waning Gibbous?" he asked. He will bite his time and uncover the full extent of who HIS family was, whether _shit_Thing One and _shit_Thing Two liked it or not.

"Yes. She however was somehow able to fully disconnect her two Sparks and those of the children's, essentially shutting down their consciousness. The result to which is the formation of a Waxing Gibbous, the remainder. A physical form each of their unconsciousness transcended into and in this precise moment those forms are drifting aimlessly in the Total Eclipse of the Universes." Before he could badger her with more questions Ludwig rushed to finish her explanation. "And NO, I know even less of what the Total Eclipse is or what it represents."

Eric just stared at her and the sunny rondure with nothing but pure loathing.

Fucking Useless these two!

Jessica Simpson was the president of MENSA, in comparison to _moron_Thing One and _dipshit_Thing Two.

"Northman, quit your bitching. I am privy to only the information I am allowed to have and I am given even that much only because I am their doctor."

"What the fuck do we do now?" Eric shouted he was beyond frustrated or enraged; hopelessness was slowly creeping its way into his ability to speak or think rationally.

"We wait." She calmly stated.

"You can't be serious, what if they never wake up?" Eric roared at both, her and the sunny rondure.

Fucking USELESS, both of them!

His fucking shoe soles were more useful than them.

Anything for that matter was more useful to him than the two of them, even fucking True Blood and that shit was worse than Were blood. He can attest to that, after having lost a bet to Pam and being forced to try the _miracle_ that allowed their vampiric reveal to humans. It all backfired at her and she bid farewell to her covered in blood spit vintage Coco Channel suit.

But, if drinking only True Blood for the rest of his existence was how he could get HIS family back, then so be it.

Eric was desperate at this point.

He took an unneeded breath and kept repeating his - '_4 seconds, shitload of paperwork'_ \- mantra before his inner beast exploded into a berserker's killing spree this very instant.

"They ought to wake in a …" Ludwig drifted off and turned to the rondure for assistance, seeing how she was out of her element in all this, "very interesting, a week max is what I am been told it takes to make the journey back, by someone with no formal training."

Eric really, really wanted to fucking head-thump her HARD. This was HIS family, not some quasi-experimental study with simians to see how long it will take them to figure out how to hot wire a car.

"A whole fucking week" Eric repeated impassively. "Again, what happens if they are still comatose after a week?"

"We did all we could here…" she spoke calmly and this time was Eric turn to interrupt.

"The fuck you DID! This is more than UNACCEPTABLE!" Eric growled with all of his might interrupting her ominous assertion.

The rondure started instantly pulsating brighter and Ludwig rushed to interpret and maybe, just maybe calm the infuriated vampire.

"If they do not wake within a week's time, although there isn't a reason for that to not be the case, since blondie here doesn't possess that much stored energy, THEY will take them all physically to the Crease and coach them through to come back to consciousness."

"The FUCK YOU WILL! No one is taking them anywhere or doing anything to them, without my approval and me being there! They are MINE!" his edict left no room for misunderstanding, just challenging them to anything remotely close to disagreeing with him and heads would most absofuckinglutely roll.

The sunny breathtaking rondure was behind Eric in less than a blink of an eye, giving him a good solid smack to the back of his head followed by a powerful electric jolt, before it disappeared into thin air. Just as quickly as it first decided to drop by for an unwelcome visit. It was done cavorting with the self-centered vampire and at this point there was nothing left to do, but wait for Sookie to come to her own senses and return on her own.

"That fucker better never so much as think to show his ugly round ass in front of me ever again!" Eric bellowed beyond livid, as he pulled his hair back with a tight leather strap behind his neck.

Ludwig stayed quieter than a hooker at a Sunday service and decided it was not worth pointing out the numerous flaws in that statement. She unfortunately still had work to do and could not leave her patients, before she too was able to go in search of her own happy place, in preferably no less than several galaxies away from the unappreciative vampire.

"While you're waiting for them to wake, you need to give them a single drop daily from the green vial, that will keep them hydrated and nourished and you need to dress their injuries with these herbs as I am about to demonstrate." She started showing him by pulling a thick smelling substance out of one of the numerous pouches she had on hand, making Eric scrunch his nose in pure distaste.

"Why can't I give them my blood?" the last thing he wanted was a visual reminder of tonight's events on their gorgeous skin in the form of ugly scars. His healing blood was guaranteed to prevent that.

"Because it isn't safe for them to ingest any." Ludwig was back in her tranquil professional demeanor.

"In their current state? Or does that apply to them in general?" Eric quickly asked.

His blood was the fastest and indubitably permanent method of securing them to him and he was not going to settle for anything less. They were HIS.

"Can't wait to drown them in your blood, can you vampire?"

Eric just hissed impatiently at Ludwig.

"You can tear open a vein as soon as all three wake, if that is what you desire. Though my advice is to ask for their permission before you force it down their throats. Something I strongly suggest you consider to save yourself from future proverbial headaches. No one is taking them away from you, vampire. If they wanted them they would have taken them already and there is jack shit you can do to stop them."

All Eric heard was that they would not reject his powerful ancient blood. All he needed was two or maybe three drops of it into them to start the process of an unbreakable blood bond. As for anyone taking them from him, he did not pity the fools, who would be stupid enough to try. He would kill all, before that silly thought was fully formed.

"Will there be any scarring left on their skin?" Eric asked deciding to ignore her last statement.

"Not, if you follow my directions." Ludwig answered and proceeded to show him how to clean a nasty looking wound on Addy's right arm before spreading a thin layer of the herb substance over the infant's delicate skin.

"Is it safe for me to bathe them in a bath or under a shower spray before I do this every night?"

"I would recommend it in contrast to giving them a sponge bath and both methods are acceptable, just make sure to be mindful of the water spray obstructing their air supply, especially when it comes to the little ones, also the herbs though they may seem like a thick hard layer are easy to remove, so you don't need to scrub their skin hard, it will easily wash away after soaking for a couple of seconds."

Eric observed like a hawk all the Doctor's movements, he was the picture of a prime pupil whilst committing every instruction to memory. He watched intently how much pressure she applied, the amount of herb she spread to cover the wound and how much of it went to conceal the surrounding healthy tissue or the fact that she used a bottom to top approach along the length of the wound. It may have just been Ludwig's personal preference, but Eric was cataloging it as if it was the spoken words of the Gods. He would not take any chance when it came to the well-being of the three of them, even if it was something as simple as wiping Addy's runny nose. Eric had a ghost of a smile in anticipation of when they wake and made a mental note to consult with Google for how does one, really clean snot from a baby. Seeing how their mother was a stubborn mule, behavior she would pay dearly for, after the hell she put him through tonight's events and with his luck when it come to them, he was convinced Addy would be first to wake and then proceed to undoubtedly cry like a banshee for her mommy. He was facing a grand paradox, he did not want to allow access to them by anyone other than himself, but he also recognized that he lacked the knowledge how to rear a small child and in need of a succor. Truth was he was selfish, they may as well paste his picture next to it in the dictionary and he wanted them exclusively for himself and himself only.

Eric did a quick mental recall if there was a person he trusted so implicitly as to share the burden of their care with, but the truth was that he simply did not trust anyone for anything. The only beings he felt trust and respect towards were those of his bloodline, which were composed of a very small number and one or two fellow Enforcers. In the Supe world said bloodline was notorious for standing behind an unbreakable united front. The motto they all existed by was kin blood above any and all, no exceptions for any cause. Thus, no one has heard of betrayal or even an argument within aforementioned bloodline. Pam dubbed them the original ride or die crew and any new wanna be punks had nothing on them, though Eric preferred to stand behind the ancient _united or die divided_ elucidation. Anyone having problem with any one of them for any reason, had a problem with them all.

However when faced with care for HIS new found family the few people Eric did trust implicitly were also incapacitated by death during daytime hours.

If any enemy of his bloodline were to learn of HIS extended family's existence, they would instantly perceive them as a weakness and easy targets. Plus, any newcomers that had something to prove or simply did not know better, would most definitely try to earn quick fame and glory by attacking HIS family.

Eric wasted no time as he mentally started hiring around the clock worthy Supes for HIS family. Said list included protection, magical tutors, fight instructors, doubling the house help, etc. His Maker was the best individual to elicit help with this task. Eric was not sure of how to break this new development to him and most of all he was not certain of what all this the new emotions he was experiencing represented. He was certain that he wanted them and that they were HIS now, just not entirely assured what was driving this, dare he say, all-consuming need for HIS Angels.

The next words Ludwig voiced stopped his planning mid thought.

"Keep any Supes away from them until they wake with the exception of your bloodline."

"And why should I do such a thing Dr. Ludwig?" not that he was planning of having an introduction ceremony in their honor, but he was determined to keep them safe and comfortable, while exposing all the mysteries surrounding them.

Did he seriously just question her diagnosis? What medical school did his arrogant ass fall out of?

"Because I said so and because the current chemistry of their blood will call to all others like shit to an Army blanket." Ludwig answered beyond exasperated at this point.

Dealing with this particular vampire made one desire to perform Seppuku just to get it over with already.

She was earnestly contemplating of just shoving a pint of Sookie's blood back into him and leave him to his own devices. At the very least he was amusing whilst trainspotting to lunacy.

Eric just gave her his best smile, if nothing it was entertaining to see the little dwarf rattled. Payback is a nasty _biatch_, ain't she? Sometimes modern euphemisms just said it all and he may or may not have indulged in some of his clandestine David Chappelle obsession earlier in his office.

"Any suggestion as to how I should proceed in the event that one or both children wake during the day hours and way ahead of schedule of their mother, Dr. Ludwig?" Eric asked in his most respectful tone and still wearing his best smile, covering nothing of his sarcasm and growing enjoyment of pissing the hell out of her.

Yes, fall on a nice big tree branch and deliver us from headache, asshole! Is what she really wanted to say, however she was a professional after all, so she bit her tongue back hard, extremely hard actually.

"Yes, with this, take a drop of it before dawn until their mother is ready to take care of them" she handed him the vial of the sky blue substance, that seemed to magically diminish to exactly one single drop the instant he was holding it.

Eric did not even ask the million questions that were swirling inside his vast brain and just crooked an eyebrow at her.

The thought of holding, in the palm of his hand, the cure for defeating death during daylight hours or by the power of Odin, seeing the sun after a thousand years, was exhilarating to say the least.

Eric was very old, though not considered an Ancient by vampire standards, but an Elder one nonetheless. Which allowed him to be conscious and fully functioning for a couple hours after dawn and before sunset, but he still eventually succumbed to the power of the sun just as any other vampire. There was not an exact formula to age equating prolonged daylight cognizance, nevertheless it seemed the older one got the longer they could stay awake.

His Maker was an Ancient and able to withstand the call of the sun even longer, even a full day or days if needed. However, Eric could not stand firmly behind said theory, because there were rumors of vampires much older than Eric and His Maker combined that were unable to stay awake even half the time he could.

Vampires held all their secrets close to their chests, especially one such as this. That rule applied to all Supe beings, to know ones strength is to know ones weaknesses. Then there were the rumors of Day Walkers among them, which may or may not be a vampiric gift of his bloodline, to which Eric would neither attest nor deny. Age, physical strength and special vampire gifts such as mass glamouring, flying, tracking, precognition or detection of hybrid Supe species all seem to have an influence on the amount of time a vampire resisted the call of the sun.

Ludwig, however continued giving Eric instructions as if she did not give a rat's arse about vampire's day death. She really could not care less about it nor for the annoying vampire next to her.

"It will replenish its self to the right dose every morning, thus diminishing the chance of you overindulging and once she is awake the vial will evaporate on its own. The liquid would not allow you to walk in the sun, though I would not stop you if you decide to," she smirked and mentally crossed her fingers in prayer.

She was tight with most of the Gods after all and small miracles do tend to happen on rare occasions.

Eric once again refrained from giving her a head-thump and thus eliminating a few inches of her already pathetic stature, as he listened and hissed at her through his sharp fangs in warning.

"It would not keep you from day slumber whilst they are still in the Total Eclipse, but it would work as a mild form of a blood bond. In a way that you would be able to feel when they wake and in return keep you awake to care for them. You wouldn't be privy to what they are feeling." Ludwig continued explaining.

"How do I care for them?" and there it was, Eric Northman swallowing his pride.

It was Ludwig's turn to smile and boy did she! It was all kinds of spine-chilling.

"Never cared for a child, have you vampire?" her voice was joyous, maybe she should stick around for the moment they wake, the video footage was guaranteed to be an instant classic.

Vampire parenting for utter idiots, everything you should NOT do.

"The most important thing is to feed them …"

"What?" Eric asked interrupting her mid-sentence.

"Food, what do you think?" Ludwig answered just as quickly.

This night was just dragging ass with the way these two kept going at each other.

"No shit, doctor!" Eric growled back at her.

"Very good vampire, too much bacteria and least nutritious value." She praised him in earnest, with sarcasm being the main course on the prescribed menu." Milk for the little girl, goat milk is the closest to texture and consistency of a human mother's milk. Warm, no more than 99°F and use glass bottles, none of that plastic shit humans are so fond of, make sure to burp her afterwards. Disinfect the bottles in boiling water the first time and every time after feeding, also use cloth diapers, it helps with toilet training. Which she should start if she hasn't already. Simply put her on a potty as soon as she wakes. She may have started solid foods, but it's safe to minimize introducing new things to her until her mother is awake, your presence would be enough of a shocker I am sure. I'll give you literature on all this; you should familiarize yourself with it as quickly as possible. The boy is old enough to eat any food and from my scan earlier tonight I didn't detect any allergies for any of the three. He is old enough to voice his food preferences, but stick to the recommended four food groups: 1st. Meat, fish, poultry, eggs; 2nd. Milk, cheese, and other dairy products; 3rd. Fruits and vegetables; 4th. Potatoes, rice, flour products. Minimum sugar and find an organic supplier, avoid processed foods. Here." She dug into her Gladstone bag and handed him what looked like a 100 page pamphlet. "This should answer any question you may have."

"What is the chance of their mother snapping out of it first?" was Eric's hopeful question after all that information.

The mere thought of toilet training was just straight up craptasticly _shitabulous_. Eric was starting to rethink this whole, having your cake and eat it, situation. Maybe he can glamour their mother into forgetting their existence until they grow to a reasonable age. Oh say, they weren't pissing and shitting themselves.

Worst or best case scenario, depending on whose point of view, Pam may be in more shit that she anticipated. Though leaving Pam to tutor the children for any given period of time was how serial killers were born, albeit with an immaculate fashion sense, of course. They stood a better chance being raised by Chucky, the friendly porcelain doll.

"As of this moment slim to none" Ludwig answered in even more jubilant voice. "Call me as soon as any of them wake so I can check on them."

"You speak, as if you are certain that they would wake in a weeks' time."

"There isn't a reason for it not to be true. The last thing, you need to do is keep this" she handed him the yellow crystal stone from earlier "where they lay, it will protect them and when the time comes you will need to turn it into necklaces for them."

"Protect them from what?"

"Those who seek to destroy them" the Doctor replied. _Duh! _

"What aren't you telling me Ludwig? Who is after them?" Eric was done playing name the kryptonite.

"Vampire, I honestly don't know. All I know is that now that you have claimed them, they are no longer hidden to the Supe world."

"It's been a while since I took part in a good fight." Eric was all kinds of giddy.

"Don't be cocky, vampire. Listen to those who will aid you. You may be old and experienced, however you are but an infant to some." It was more than obvious she was included in said group.

"And what is your role in all of this Ludwig?"

"Dr. Ludwig to you, Northman, and I am here for their medical needs, should any arise. Take good care of them vampire or the consequences would be of an Armageddon proportion to us all. I will send your bill by the end of next week, check your Pay_me_Pal." With that she vanished in thin air just as swiftly as she first appeared.

Good riddance to that shitpile of nuisance was all Eric could say on that exit. Fucking show off teleporters. Would it fucking kill them to pretend to know what a door is for? That did not stop him from slamming it after her though.

Eric always took full advantage of any pleasure his undead life presented him with.

He took his time examining the yellow crystal. It was extraordinarily stunning, otherworldly no question. It was warm to the touch, weighed heavier that one would expect and reflected beams of pure sunlight in all directions, as if it had an auric essence to it.

That shithead sunny rondure, better not be fucking chillaxing inside of it.

Pam was at his side the next instant, she had taken off like a lightning bolt the second the bright sphere encasing the house dispersed with the Doctor's departure.

"Master what was all of this zombie shit storm?" By the emotional turmoil flooding their bond she was obviously shaken, although externally she displayed her usual bored bratty demeanor.

This was as close to full on panic Pam had ever gotten. She was as loyal as they come and being prevented in assisting her Maker until now, did not sit well with her.

Eric placidly palmed his Childe's face and kissed her forehead.

"Zombies don't exist, Pam how many times do I have to tell you this?"

"So you keep saying and I'm still not convinced, you haven't presented any concrete evidence to the contrary and especially not after tonight." She pointed to their captives.

Hello, fae zombies over there!

Eric just shook his head at her silliness. It kept getting worse with every new Walking Dead episode. A month ago she actually went so far as to voice her desire to start petitioning for a Freedom of Information Act to the Supe Council in order to get to the bottom of it. That was when he had to put his foot down and nipped that genius idea in the bud, by issuing a Maker's Command forbidding her to making an ass out of herself and him by association. Which did nothing to further quell her _ZOMG!_ conspiracy obsession.

"Seriously Eric, what the fuck is going on?"

"Not sure Pam, but rest assured I will get to the bottom of it. Do you have the full report on them?" he was staring intently at HIS family, as if all the mysteries surrounding them will magically unveil themselves or at the very least they will wake the fuck up already.

"Emailed it to you nine minutes ago, had Spider dig up everything that was Stackhouse. There is something exceedingly weird about them Eric."

"Your point, _my Childe_?" Tonight was not the night if Pam thought she could get away with her usual catty behavior.

"Her name is SOOKIE, what does that tell you? If that doesn't scream batshit insane, then maybe her nickname of Crazy Sookie, she is known as around her little bumfuck redneck town, certainly should. Just the location should be enough of a warning." Pam waved her hands, frustrated, in the air.

"Pamela that was your last warning." Eric was right in her face, his voice calm as a Hindu cow, blood boiling like a March hare.

"I am worried Master, what happens when their Fairy kin finds out about this? You know they are not going to take very kindly to that idea. This has Supe war written all over it" she whispered staring at the floor.

"Pam, look at me." When she finally did, Eric flooded their bond with pride and adoration. "You will always be my first Childe, Pam. They are not replacing you." Eric was once again cupping her delicate face in his enormous hands, gently brushing his large thumbs over her rouged cheeks.

"But not the only one." She murmured.

Pam never felt insecure, not ever, and this new sensation was as foreign to her as it could get, making her all kinds of uncomfortable.

"You knew that the day would come, when I will expand our bloodline Pam."

"With a worthy human to be turned into a vampire Childe, Eric. Not a Fairy mother with two nom noms!"

"I have made my decision Pam. I am not going to force it onto you, but if you have a problem with it and want to leave I am not going to stop you. You will always have my protection, support and loyalty, my Childe. Rest assured."

"Master….?" She whispered and could not bring herself to voice the fear that was starting to consume her.

Jealousy was rapidly creeping over her, how could he choose some strangers over her, over his own blood? They have been together for more than two centuries and he has never shown any signs nor said anything indicating that he may be getting tired of her company.

"I am exceedingly selfish Pam. I will always want you by my side. However, every Vampire Childe leaves its Maker at some point and I stand by my words the night you first rose as Mine: When the time comes and you are ready to do so, I will let you go willingly and never hold the reasoning behind your choice against you. You will always have my support" when she looked like she was going to respond Eric quickly silenced her with his right thumb over her mouth "and I am also very old Pam. I know what I want and if I find it, I take it. They are not going anywhere Pam. "

"So this isn't you replacing me?"

"No, my Childe. This is me doing what I also do." Eric smiled with his signature smirk.

"There is more to this Eric, what aren't you telling me? I can feel you and it's more than a simple case of wanting something."

"I can't describe it Pam, but the moment I laid eyes on them I felt them as MINE. They were always MINE, are to be always MINE and only MINE."

"Is this the Pull for a Childe you've told me about?"

"Not exactly, it's different. When I saw you I felt this unstoppable and all-consuming pull, the Pull, towards you and I knew you were to be Mine, to be My Childe. It was like the sun pulling you to day rest, you intuitively know its origins and what course of action you are to take. With them…." Eric drifted off as he raptly stared at them lost in thought.

"So if you don't want them for Children, for what then?"

"I did not say I don't want them for Children, I said that the impulse to claim them as MY OWN was instantaneous and that is what I did. If turning them is how I am to keep them, then that is what I am going to do, because I am NEVER letting them go, EVER. "

"So this is a _Pull_, you wanting to play house with them? Are you serious?"

"Deadly!" He erupted in a wholehearted laughter. Eric was a truck full of all kinds of things, none of which being domestic.

Both of them stood silent for a long time and Eric purposely closed the bond between them. Though he would not stop Pam from leaving if she so decided, he was not ready to hear it. No words or looks were exchanged between them. Both of them turned to the three immobile bodies and their own thoughts. Eric was recounting every detail, every word that was spoken tonight like an instructional video. Rewinding, pressing pause and taking notes for every move, every action, and every slight change in tone of voice.

Millions of unanswered questions and their possible repercussions were invading his mind at a striking speed.

After a long time when Pam asked him once again what happened in her absence, he went in great detail to divulge all he had learned from the events that took place. She would interrupt and either ask him to elaborate on some of them or voice her concern over possible consequences. She stood quiet for the most part, just observing it all. Both of them had no point of reference to who or what the little family of three could be. Taciturnity once more permeated the space between them.

"I'm not babysitting for you and there isn't a snowball chance in hell I am changing a diaper." Pam finally said in a bored voice.

Over her true and final death, or more like in Pam's true nightmare.

"We'll see. I can already hear them calling for their all-time favorite _Big Sis Pammy_." Eric just laughed at her.

"The Fuck they will!" Pam hissed, reconsidering her decision to stick around.

Who was she kidding; she will never leave her Master no matter how nutty he obviously was getting in his old age. She gave him a look that expressed her conviction that he no doubt was becoming senile.

Eric laughed even harder at her, truly enjoying the irritation she was feeling. As amusing as pissing her off was he needed to tend to HIS family's injuries and a meeting with even more angry vampires to get to later tonight. He could feel her mixed emotions over what this represented for them as he started walking towards the ensuite bathroom to start filling the bathtub with warm water. She was worried, infuriated, cautious, intrigued and a slew more of feelings raging from pure repugnance to cravings, for the fae lanced blood running in their veins no doubt.

As he was turning the tap and about to adjust the water temperature, he felt Pam's emotional spike of suspicion going through the roof and her determination to act. He vamped back to the room immediately. If she did anything to harm any of HIS Angels in any way he will send her to her final death that fucking second. What he did find was not at all what he expected, something far worse and even more terrifying. A blue orb was holding her immobile against the wall and rapidly scorching her exposed flesh, making her scream in agony.

Eric acted on instinct.

He attacked not caring for the consequences or the fact that he had no knowledge of who the foe was or how to defeat it.

…

**So, what do you think or should I ask if you guys are still out there, do you want more? My goal is to update within no later than two weeks' time, however real life got a little hectic this month and I apologized if some of you are irked by the long wait. Do you guys prefer longer or more frequent short chapters? I know I get uber irritated if I get to read something worth five or fewer minutes, leaving me wanting for more.**

**Please leave a comment so I know I am not just blabbering here all by my lonely wholesome and Thank you in advance for it.**

**Ps. Jfozz, I humbly thank you.**


	5. Who are you?

**WARNING: This week's AU train ride to the bayou of the Universe contains some VIOLENT turbulence.**

**As always, thank you jules3677 and treewitch7031 for all your help :)!**

**…**

Eric Northman was the rip your heart out and slurp on it like a juice box, ask questions _never_, type of individual and it could not be blamed solely to his vampiric nature. It was a hereditary attitude he had exhibited since birth such as being able to relentlessly follow orgasm after orgasm while never losing sight of the prey. He did not give a flying fuck what anyone had to say for themselves, it would not make a spit of difference in getting them off his shit list. Fatally crossing out their names in blood red was just like scratching a nuisance itch to him. No one was allowed to lay a finger on anything that was HIS in any capacity, shape or form and sure as fuck not on HIS Childe.

The fear that Pam has done something to harm HIS family in bratty jealousy and the all-consuming need to make her pay for it were forgotten the moment he felt her pain, well before he even exited the bathroom and saw the reason behind her terrifying agony. A bright blue orb, with mesmeric hue of a cloudless tropical sky and the size of a tennis ball had her pinned immobile against the wall. Any flesh that was not covered by her light pink thousand dollars worth of fabric from Stella McCartney was sautéing, filling the room with a ghastly stench of over baked epidermis and earsplitting screams. In true Pam style, though she was by no means thrilled over the treatment dedicated to recalibrating her body esthetics, she was beyond livid the second her precious attire began to scorch, cursing all fates for changing out of her prior atrocious Goth getup. Eric was only a mere hairsbreadth away from squeezing the curve out of the uninvited guest, when the next sequence of events stalled his action to a deathly idle.

Two identical, but smaller versions of the blue orb, the size of golf balls, just as breathtakingly exquisite, split from within it, whilst it was hovering in front his violently thrashing, and cursing, Childe. One darted at a lighting speed towards her balled right hand, pugnaciously prying it open and then to the yellow crystal, which he had previously discarded on the foot of the bed, disappearing inside of it. The second flew over the three comatose bodies currently sprawled on the bed and took a defensive stand as guard above them, pulsating rapidly and readily against counterattacks from any possible trajectory.

Eric possessed uncommonly fast speed of movement, sight and acute sense of smell as well as unprecedented strength for a vampire, but even if he were to be any ordinary vampire he could not have missed seeing the three strands of hair that Pam had been holding or the aroma of their origins. His gargantuan hand instinctively moved from reaching for the blue orb to wrapping around Pam's throat like a like a vice for the umpteenth time this evening.

"Explain yourself!" He growled and had she not been blood of HIS own blood, she would have been finally dead a thousand times over tonight.

Even for Eric, tonight was turning to be too much, his patience was virtually nonexistent at present.

The Supernatural world held a very strict protocol on the severity of retribution, compensation in the form of punishment or the exclusive rights over who can enforce it. Seeing how one's Maker held the title to ALL that was of their vampire Children the grand pleasure of dishing out His Childe's punishment felt solely on Her Maker, Eric, so the larger blue orb ceased any further detention and meat sautéing, as it joined its little sibling above its charges and releasing it of its duty, allowing it too to return inside the yellow crystal. Once in position the larger blue orb started pulsating as well, prepared to ward against anything that would wish to cause any harm to the three peacefully and oblivious telepaths.

"I was going to have their DNA examined." Pam answered truthfully, resigned to her fate, whatever it may be.

Eric hissed in full blown fury, extending his impressive fangs even further in frustration, whilst running his clenched fist through the wall, only a millimeter away from her stubborn head, all the way into the adjacent bedroom, which was also in a deplorable condition similar to the one they were currently occupying.

Eric lost it. He had fucking had it with her childish obsession.

"Dammit Pam, they are not fucking ZOMBIES!" he bellowed deafeningly in vexation, forcing any lingering plaster to fall off as the whole mansion shook.

"How can you be sure? Even you acknowledged it; their Supe smell is like nothing you have ever encountered. They show no vital signs. I am willing to bet my new Vuitton babies that in 24 hours their…" she bared her own fangs right back at him.

"THAT was your last warning, Childe!" He cut her off, most days he lived for teasing her on the subject of her unhealthy zombie obsession, but right now the only question was should this farce be ended in a quick or a laboriously painful true death.

There was a lot more to their enthralling Supe fragrance that either of them wanted or dared to acknowledge to themselves, for copious different reasons. Hiding behind her _ZOMG_ theory was just Pam's way of denying the inevitable truth, an implausible and incomprehensible one for a vampire's way of thinking.

"Fine, but when their flesh starts to stink of rot and …." She just could not help herself it seemed.

Eric completely and utterly lost it, going all section 8 sicko on her ass.

"ENOUGH!" He growled viciously and with his right hand around her neck Eric simply, with a twitch in his wrist, spun her body forcefully to face the wall ramming her head clear through it, while using his other hand to shred the back of Pam's precious ensemble, ripping it completely and leaving her body fully exposed.

The blue orb elected that its services were no longer required, so it too swiftly retreated inside the yellow crystal, leaving the vampires to do whatever is that vampires do to resolve family feuds. It clearly had no intention to call in the troops again to play _fang_bitrator or call 911 for the matter; this non compos mentis shit was most certainly not inscribed anywhere in its contract.

Eric sadistically entangled his fingers in Pam's flaxen goldilocks yanking her head excruciatingly backwards, with such force that Pam violently arched her back as she presented her bare ass for whatever he was going to subject her to. He wrenched her head sideways and savagely sank his massive fangs into her throat making her scream in terror, her high pitched voice composed the most superb symphony to his ears. A massive spurt of her blood gushed far and wide, as it concurrently filled his mouth and with a lighting speed and a force of a thunder strike Eric brought his gigantic hand down on her naked right bottom cheek, willing her flesh to turn burning red and raw in pain.

"You are to respect my wishes Childe!" he growled incensed, spitting blood as the excess ran down his chin.

Strike.

EXCRUCIATING PAIN.

"One. Yes, Master. Thank you, Master." Pam knew the drill better than anyone, having received it and seen it done to others so many times that it all came like a profoundly espoused muscle memory to her psyche.

"You are to NEVER inflict harm onto them directly nor indirectly in ANY physical nor emotional capacity!" he growled furiously again.

Strike.

FERVIDLY TORCHING PAIN.

"Two. Yes, Master. Thank you, Master." This time she felt the sting or more like a branding of her left side.

"You are to treat them as MINE!" he hissed wrathfully.

Strike.

FURY BLAZING PAIN.

"Three. Yes, Master! Thank you, Master." She also knew better than to show any sign of discomfort or plea for clemency.

"You are to protect them at ALL COST as MINE!" he bellowed, impelling the windows to rattle in protest as he also rapidly smashed her head numerous times in brutal quick succession through the wall with a force so great it almost propelled her whole body into the adjoining room.

STRIKE.

EXCRUCIATING PIERCING PAIN.

He was moving at a whirlwind speed and that time she did not feel the ruthless sting of his enormous hand, he must have picked a piece of broken furniture lying nearby, because she felt the unbearable pain of every single one of the thousand or so wood splinters lodging in her mangled raw flesh and coccyx bone, as he tore the flesh off her right ass cheek. Heavyweight spurt after spurt of blood was gushing in every direction, Pam could actually hear the sound of her own wrenched flesh thumping onto the floor right before it disintegrated into ashes. She did not dare to cry out or try to escape. If she did, it would only infuriate Eric to the point of no possible return.

"Four. YES, MASTER! Thank you, Master." came Pam's muffled voice as she did her best to try and not bite down at the drywall to suppress the cry threatening to escape her.

"They were always MINE, are to be ALWAYS MINE and will always be ONLY MINE! Do you understand Childe?" Eric roared with all his strength, yanking her head back from the massive hole in the wall.

STRIKE.

VIVID VEHEMENT PAIN.

"Five. YES, MASTER! THANK YOU, MASTER." Pam answered loudly in full obedience as the blood gushing flesh of her left ass cheek was too brutally ripped from her.

ALL-CONSUMING RABID PAIN.

Not a single tear, not a single cry for mercy, not a single attempt to either fight or flee for her undead life. Pam knew her existence would have been forfeited right then and there, on that very spot. It had been centuries since he subjected her to this type of bloody physical punishment, however the rules since time stood still. Pam counted her blessings at the lack of his beloved silver toys or the fact the he was far too infuriated with her in order to bear enough patience to drag her to one of his torture dungeons for the full wrath of his ire.

Spinning her around and forcing her to face him, he maliciously ordered.

"Dispose of your FULL closet to Warehouse 1 for the next month and stock up on True Blood for a _healthy_ diet for the duration." He hissed, still infuriated.

Hopefully the 10, . double height structure would fit it all. Sigh. She did have nine houses in the Shreveport area alone, all paid for by Eric of course. Five of which were converted to function as nothing more than a giant storeroom and the other four had any and all niches stuffed to the brim with her fashionista regalia. Sure, vampires had no practical need for kitchen cabinetry, double oven stoves or guest bathrooms, but Pamela Ravenscroft sure found use for them. Heavy duty sigh.

"Master?" Pam was really and truly scared shitless now for the faith of her beloved children, but did not dare to ask out loud of what that may be.

"Enjoy Walmart, Childe and only a quarter of a grand in allowance. Figure it out you have the gift of numbers." Eric smirked in triumph with a crooked, sinister smirk.

"Master, I beg of your mercy…." Her voice was as shaken as it could get.

"Keep pushing me, Childe and you will be raiding the Goodwill's fashion collections for the next century." His smirk turned even more malicious.

A single large red tear slipped down Pam's right cheek as she froze motionless.

Eric untangled his massive hand from her matted hair to palm her face as his left hand cupped the back of her head pulling her up and forward towards him, he leaned down and licked her bloody teardrop in satisfaction.

"Good girl."

"Thank you, Master." She whispered back to him.

"Be very careful Pamela, you still have not received your punishment from earlier; you do not want to bait me into doing something you may truly regret. Am I understood Childe?" Eric demanded.

"Yes, Master." Her shaky grating voice held back as much as of her fear as she could muster, but not nearly enough.

For the sake of her beloved babies: all the shoes, purses, jewelry and artfully stitched irreplaceable fabrics she held holy in this world, she caught with both of her hands what he was laying down more than just loud and clear. A hundred and ninety seven years ago she learned the full meaning of obedience after Eric set all her darling children in a blazing bonfire for not following orders to his satisfaction. She still mourned annually for their loss and held a vigil in their honor, every September 3rd at 2:37am. Candles, black mourning dress, head lace veil and all.

"Excellent" Eric took an unneeded breath. "You need to learn to embrace this Pam."

"Yes, Master." Pam took an unneeded breath as she answered him with all candor. "I will."

"I am not asking you to become their best friend, Pam. I am asking you to show me the respect I am rightfully due."

"Yes, Master."

"Drink, my Childe." Eric said in a tranquil voice after he sank his fangs into his own wrist in offering to her.

No matter what, he loved her and loathed feeling her pain, even if it were to be gone in less than five minutes. He could also feel through their bond that she fully understood the error of her way and had no intentions of further provoking him on the subject ever again. The five edicts he issued to her were eternally imprinted into her psyche. The point of this _exercise_ was not to simply cause her excruciating physical pain, it was to correct her behavior and it was apparent that he succeeded in doing so, no need to drag it out further.

Pam latched on immediately showing no hesitation, she could instantly feel the accelerated tingling sensation within her body as the healing properties of her Maker's powerful ancient blood tripled the speed of her recovery, giving a rejuvenating boost to their blood tie and intensifying their connection. Internally however, she was torn between enduring the inflicted agony to prove to her Master that she absolutely comprehended his words and worrying that, if she were to do so, it would show disrespect for the precious gift of his blood he professed her worthy of. Feeling her emotional quandary Eric gently smoothed her hair behind her ear, sending her reassurance through their bond.

Pam slowly closed her eyes as more of their combined essences intertwined within her. She sent bucket loads of sincere gratitude for Eric's high esteem for her through their bond. Only a truly caring Maker would demand for nothing but the absolute best comportment of its Childe, because only such Makers believed in their Children's true worth and not just their absolute ownership over them.

"Pam, you do not have to abide their company if you do not wish."

You could always tell with Eric if he was dead serious, incensed or upset in anyway, he dropped his contractions, modern euphemism and his accent would become pronounced.

"Are you kidding me? There is no chance in hell I'm missing out on you playing lead in "Who's your daddy?" You need me now more than ever and we both know that you turned me, because there are way too many things you will gladly have me take care of instead of doing it yourself." Pam smiled excitedly with blood dripping down her chin, plainly laying the groundwork for her next proposal.

Eric slowly closed his eyes for an entirely different reason than being enveloped in wholehearted gratitude. The primary motive behind her turning sure as fuck was never about Pam taking up as his personal fashionista drill sergeant, but try telling her that. Sigh. Ignoring whatever her internal teenage hormonal brain was conjuring, Eric wordlessly turned away to enter the bathroom once more, as he hollered back at her over his shoulder and efficiently putting a stop to whatever it was she was plotting this time around.

"No!"

"But Eric you said ..."

"I said NO. "

"Not celebrating their arrival is a bad omen Eric." Pam tried to reason.

"Look around, you should have spoken of this sooner." Eric smirked at her vamping back into the room.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Noted. How long before the meeting?"

"One hour and forty seven minutes. There are two prisoners in Warehouse 3 ready for questioning."

"Wonderful, we will leave in an hour until then see to your tasks as ordered." With that, Eric dismissed Pam with a flick of his wrist already reaching to pick Addy up.

"As you wish Master"

Pam huffed audibly her disappointment, vamping out of the bedroom, phone at hand, fully ready to lay her frustration on the unsuspecting construction crew four floors down. He could be so pigheaded sometimes, but so could she and there was no way she would miss her one and only chance of throwing one of those baby showers she had read about. She just needed to be persistent and belligerent enough. It never failed to get her what she wanted.

Eric felt great satisfaction over Pam's vexation and wasted no time in stripping HIS three breathers of their blood mattered torn clothing, shoes and all accessories. Thank Odin for small and HUGE favors that Addy's hair bow turned out to be a simple clip-on and most importantly HIS daughter was being a perfect daddy's little girl by sporting a CLEAN diaper, making him sigh in delight. Eric smiled over how easy it was to _change a diaper_ and his undeniable ability to provide the best care for fulfilling every need of HIS family. Eric Northman did not know that he was obviously due for his own vampiric rude awakening. Flinging the discarded outfits, excluding Sookie's jewelry and diadem, which he crossly crushed in his hand, no Lover of HIS would ever wear such cheap imitations. Everything was heaped in a pile on the floor with full intentions of obtaining exact replicas of their clothing, the only items he would allow from their previous lives were kept in a separate pile. It was all done to purely satisfy Eric's irrefutable feeling of ownership, he owned every last thing about them: they were HIS.

His cock was rock hard, which was turning into a constant occurrence when it came to HIS Lover, he took a couple of seconds to truly admire HIS Valkyrie's divinely sculpted body. With an appreciative hiss his alpha male fangs snapped into place and a resounding purr vibrated deep from within his chiseled warrior's chest with glee. She was nothing short of a gift sent personally to him by the almighty Gods. Smooth voluptuous curves in all the right places, warm soft skin begging to be touched, squeezed, kissed, licked, nibbled and rubbed all over. With just the tip of his fingers Eric followed the spellbinding valleys of her heavenly topography in a treacherous slow motion from the crook of her neck to the arches of her toes. He crawled onto the bed by her feet, spreading them shoulder length apart and bend down to HIS Angel's body burying his nose into her sun radiating skin, deeply inhaling and taking her ambrosial essence inside him. Repeating his journey in reverse by tracing his large palms with his wide spread fingers in attempt to cover every inch of her warmth radiating figure under his awestruck ministration. Her delicate small feet, her well-toned caves, her soft inner thighs, her smooth vulva lips. Using just the apex of his right middle finger of his outstretched arm he parted her inner lips slowly and very very gradually, taking his time to fully relish the feeling of her, Eric encircled just the outline of her burning hot, winsomely tight, yet annoyingly dry, sex entrance. A forceful growl escaped his lips, Eric was not sure if it was over the elation of her un_fucking_believably scorching sheath, over the even more unfathomable tightness of her purity or in frustration over the fact that his touch had no influence whatsoever over her comatose body. In truth all of the above. Her body temperature stayed the same, there was no spike in her heart beat, her body was just as limp as before, not a moan or gasp for air, fucking NOTHING! Following the mapped out route with his hound like nose Eric submerged his whole face in the most beautiful pussy he has ever had the pleasure to make acquaintance with. If those gorgeous pink lips could purr, Eric vowed to every known God and deity that soon, very fucking soon, he would have HIS naughty little kitten singing his praises and begging for his large cock. That was right after he gave Sookie her well-deserved punishment for making him wait so long. He once again growled in outrage over his inability to run his fangs and cold tongue along the flawless stretch of her rear rosebud all the way up to the loveliest bud of her unspoiled clitoris, not without playing Russian roulette with his sanity at present. If only he did not have to deal with the shit of the upcoming meeting. Eric settled on lifting her bountifully painted derrière, spread wide and lifting it upwards, causing her well define legs to fall onto her chest and bend her like a pretzel as she presented herself to him before he drew the said path with his inflated nostrils capturing as much of her quintessence as possible.

MINE, MINE, MINE, ONLY MINE was the only words he could hear roaring inside his head.

"FUCK Lover, you smell divine and you are all MINE and ONLY MINE!" he whisper-hissed in a lustful husky tone as he finished encircling her delicate clit with the tip of his nose.

The tantalizing perfume of her chastity alone could easily bring the annihilation of entire realms, it was that powerful in its innocent allure. Using his large thumbs Eric separated her inner vulva lips taking a long deep whiff of her virginal, still fucking dry as a desert, opening. Never in his millennium some years on this earth has he not been met with nothing but geysering enthusiasm from his sexual exploits, female and male alike, for fucks sake even from creatures of undefinable sexes. After all, what vampire would discriminate against blood and sex in their right mind? Unable to hold his inner roaring beast at bay any longer Eric thundered a venomous snarl and snuck his humongous hands around her waistline to her perfect breasts, painfully sinking his claw like fingers into HIS girls, clutching and wrenching them so ruthlessly in his frustrated state that flaming blood red marks were left in his reckoning. Efficiently branding them and her as HIS and only HIS and thankfully taking some of the edge off his buildup irritation.

Hearing Pam's loud threat to the life of some interior designer was enough to snap him out of his trance like state and remind him that there was still much to be done before the night was over. Eric licked his lips and readjusted his turgid cock inside his painfully tight jeans in anticipation for when he would be able to properly worship her body for the perfection it truly was. He gently lowered her body back to the bed and got up to proceed with the evening plans. Sigh. HIS girls sure looked beautiful wearing his sigil, making Eric smile in satisfaction.

When would they fucking WAKE ALREADY? His patience was holding by a thread.

Eric, lifted Addy's limp body to his broad chest, unable to decipher the foreign emotions that it evoked within him Eric decided to cease opposing it and gave into the temptation and placed a gentle kiss on her small head as he started walking towards the en-suite bathroom. He absently wondered if he was still under the influence of Sookie's drug fueled blood, his desire and tenderness towards them was atypical for a vampire at the very least and particularly for this vampire.

After checking the water temperature one last time he took notice of the scattered bath salts, soaps and shampoos. Still cradling Addy's warm body close to him Eric neatly stacked all the little bottles and containers. Looking around for clean towels and finding none, due to the extensive damage done to the house earlier, he vamped back to the bedroom and placed Addy back on the bed. He made sure to cover their naked bodies, if only for his own selfish reasons and sent a call for Pam through their bond.

She was at his side instantly.

"I am going to take them to the house at Cross Lake and call Mrs. Kostova and her sons to look after them. Make sure the dogs downstairs stay put and don't follow us. I am guessing the crystal is somehow suppressing their scent, but I don't want to take any chances. Have they asked anything about tonight? Also tell Alcide he has 48 hours to finish the house, money is no object and he can hire additional help if needed. The entire house is to be child friendly."

"No nothing, it's like they didn't smell, see or hear anything. I glamoured one and found out they have no memory of ever being ejected from the house or of any sun sphere."

Though to glamour any type of were was a task not as easily done as said, it was like a self-built supernatural protection ward among the species. Pam's second vampire gift was an impressively strong ability in effortlessly influencing others and not just in single digits. She held the very rare gift of mass glamouring. However Pam would gladly trade everything that made her so special for her bloodline hereditary talent to fly, every last fucker of them but her it seemed. Sigh.

"Excellent, keep it that way. I am going to fly them over there and minimize spreading their enticing scent all over the place, come and get me in an hour and have a preliminary report ready for me before the meeting."

"I've been sending all the incoming intel to your phone."

"Very good, call the witch Octavia to perform a scent suppressing spell to be safe, before the dogs move to fix the upper floors. Send the jet to get her ASAP, after that I want her to stay for a week to guard them. She is my best bet since I can't hire the appropriate Supes for it yet." Eric growled the last part, he was not happy over that bit of annoying information preventing him from properly protecting HIS family.

"What should I tell her of whom she is to bodyguard?"

"Very important pets of an associate of mine" he fired back instantly. The less people knew how much they meant to him the safer they would be.

"She is not going to be happy over a last minute summons" Pam murmured" Why can't you do it? The last time I had dealings with her she threw a full blown hissy fit coloring my hair virtually permanent green for no good reason." Pam hissed outraged.

"I wouldn't call talking her assistant into taking off for an entire week of a fuckfest, without so much as a word of warning and leaving her to single handedly deal with numerous prior engagements, no good reason Pam." Eric laughed remembering all the things the older witch really wanted do subject Pam and her irritating as hell fucktoy too.

To placate the furious witch Eric ended up tracking them down the next night in Ibiza of all places. Pam sure knew how to do Spring Break in style, stoned off her ever loving mind on some half assed spell curtesy of her fuckbudy amongst no less drugged out willing participants. Decked out in neon necklaces and bracelets, stripper envy neon bathing suit, neon whistle and all, the full idiotic shebang. He almost did not recognize her and had to do a double take to believe that indeed it was HIS uptight and vainest of a Childe jumping to the cacophony of what some utter moron deemed to be music.

A sight to behold for eternity!

It is well known fact in the Supe community that an angry witch is not good for anyone's health, plus Octavia and Eric had a somewhat mutually respectful working rapport with one another. Fifty years ago young Octavia Fant found herself the prime obsession of one of Eric's underlings and they struck a deal that has benefited them ever since. Seeing the extraordinary power she exhibited so early on Eric offered her his full protection and aid in further education in exchange of exclusive rights over her services. The witch became one of the most powerful in the new world. Also thanks to Eric's honorable word to always watch out for her, Octavia never let anyone push her around. In exchange for his protection Eric gained a very loyal and well feared ally.

So when Pam ended up sporting neon green hair and an inability to climax for a whole month in retaliation for her little stunt Eric had no objections to Pam's _undeserved injustice_ whatsoever, she got off easily if you were to ask him. Amelia Broadway, the dimwitted assistant not so much, she was subjected to receive an involuntary orgasm, so powerful it was borderline painful, if she were to make four consecutive steps in any direction for an entire month. A suitable retribution for her sexual prowess and post abandonment, rendering her looking like a total nutcase for abruptly stopping every second step she took and almost useless for the duration of her punishment. It took the young witch half a year to even look at someone wantonly after that. Pam was too warded with said punishment; however it failed miserably in her horny case. It lasted exactly 11 seconds and 238 orgasms before Eric figured out what was happening and why Pam was vamping in elation in all directions within the tight confines of his office, before he urgently placed a phone call to Octavia advising her to come up with anything not involving Pam getting her rocks off or she may as well be doing her a favor.

"The crime did NOT fit the punishment" Pam hissed furious.

"Be glad you cleared your impromptu vacation with me before taking off or the punishment would have most certainly fit the crime. Ibiza Pam, really?"

"I am not suicidal." Pam huffed in indignation as she continued on with her defense stratagem "That shit with the deranged maenad called for some much needed _me_ time afterwards, plus we weren't going to stay there the whole time."

"Don't remind me of that psychotic bitch EVER! Nor of your fucking nonstop ranting over unfair treatment EITHER! After breaking every last sex toy in the state of Louisiana from fucking _overuse_ and nearly draining a hundred fangbangers claiming them inadequate, cleaning up your messes and having to listen to your unbearable whining was no walk in the park for me either, Childe." A cold shudder ran down his body just thinking about it, he was the one in truth being chastised, if you were to ask for his take on Pam's unfortunately just the latest of countless shenanigan.

Longest fucking month of his undead life! Though her creative attempts to go incognito and conceal the utter disaster nesting on the top of her head were most definitely amusing.

"With pleasure." Pam hissed back not wanting to be reminded of neither event just as much. Impossible to achieve seeing how every single one of Eric's office desks proudly displayed a framed snapshot of Pam's House and Trance wild side from said unfortunate night.

Eric boisterously laughed knowing full well the source behind Pam's eternal irritation and not missing out on the chance to prolong her suffering further.

"See to all the witch's needs with nothing but a sincere smile on your face Pam." Eric ordered between laughs.

"Yes, Master." Pam answered, as if just uttering the words was bringing her to the doorsteps of her true death.

"And stay away from that pixie headed assistant of hers, I have enough on my plate as it is" those two together spelled delinquency in capital letters every fucking time and required strict supervision, for which he had neither the will or patience for. Sigh.

"Should I instruct her not to bring her along?"

"No, just don't fuck her Pam."

"Eric do you realize that she does this one thing…" her voice was all dreamy like.

"Stay the fuck away from her Pam! That is an order." his voice was all business.

"You're no fun." she huffed.

"Careful Childe!" Eric gave her his signature raised eyebrow in warning.

Surely she was not challenging him to a repeat treatment over her bratty attitude so soon?

"Yes, Master!" Pam instantly diverted her eyes to the floor and bared her neck in submission.

If Pam could shake in fear she would have, she needed to tread very carefully with how tense he obviously was tonight, it seemed that anything could set him off on the path for summoning his deranged inner berserker.

"You are dismissed" and with that she was gone before he was finished talking.

Next Eric sent a text to his head housekeeper instructing her that she and her two young twins presence are needed immediately at the lake house. He quickly skimmed the book thick pamphlet Dr. Ludwig left him with and sent a substantial text massage to his dayman Bobby with instructions to provide him with all the urgent provisions HIS family required. He doubted that he would have use for any of them this evening, but wanted to be fully prepared if they were to mysteriously wake. Hope sprang eternal in all species, it seemed.

He was in the process of ripping the bed sheets to use for securing Addy and Hunter to his chest when he felt the silent vibration of his phone in his back jean pocket alerting him that some cretin thought they could demand an audience with him. Eric hissed in irritation, everyone knew the protocol is to refer to his second in command, his annoying as hell Childe, in nights as such. Unless it was his arguably more annoying Queen of Louisiana, for which he currently had no tolerance to deal with.

"WHAT?" he barked into his phone without even battering to look at the caller ID, fuck it, he will seize the throne by the end of tonight, if it meant he will be left in peace to deal with the needs of HIS family.

"Master we have a breach in security!" came Bobby full on panicked screech.

"How so?" Eric asked even more annoyed than he surmised he would be after first recognizing the voice of his certainly soon to be dead dayman.

"Someone was somehow able to gain access by hacking your phone Master. The idiot sent me instruction to obtain baby items of all things. I've already contacted Spider to take care of it." Bobby was busting with pride for his ability to serve his Master like no other ever could, just short of pounding his chest like King Kong in celebration.

"You fucking imbecile! Call Spider back to cancel the order and see to every last item on that list" Eric growled back, fucking 100K down the drain for nothing all thanks to this utter moron.

Knowing that his weird as fuck go-to techi guy was not the _sure, here is your refund_ type, the money should rightfully come out of Bobby's inane ass. However Eric could never fault someone for looking after his best interests, he will just have to bite the bullet on that one and it was not like it made even a dent in his assents. Just proving to him that the bullshit brigade was still in full force tonight; rapidly firing one _shit_sling after another in his direction.

"What?" came Bobby's dumbfounded response, not believing what he was hearing.

"Do as you are told, you do not want me to repeat myself!" Eric growled, effectively crushing the phone into million tiny pieces while envisioning it to be Bobby's pathetic neck.

Four seconds shitload of paperwork, well nil in Bobby's case, human underlings were not even on the bottom of vampires totem pole. After all they held just as much stock as any other pitiful bloodbag: to be discarded as one desired.

Eric once more sent a call for Pam through their bond. Just when is this shitstorm going to fucking end?

"I am in need of a phone." He simply stated as she vamped next to him.

"_Who_ happened to your old one this time?" Pam asked irritably.

This annoying little habit of his for destroying phones, computers, doors and a slew of all kinds of other shit, whenever someone pissed him off taught her long ago to preorder and stash them in bulks all over the place for occasions just as such.

"NOW, Pamela!" Eric barked, clearly not in a mood.

"Here" she handed him a new phone couple seconds later, preloaded with all his contacts and app preferences. Thank you iCloud for automatic synchronizing and celebrity nudity.

"You know Eric these bad boys aren't cheap, especially after forking the ridiculous fee for Spider to turn them more cryptic then the Ancient Pythoness."

"Do you really want to go there Pam? I can fucking break a thousand of them and still not be even close to the damage you did on my Black AE card just last month." Eric declared as he tenderly lifted Sookie's body in his embracing hands.

Pam lifted her right eyebrow taking in the sight of her Maker. Eric the fucking Norseman had the two rancid snack packs tightly wrapped like burritos inside of a redneck makeshift Bjorn baby carrier to the front of his chest whilst cradling their mummified like mother in his arms. If she was sure she could get away with it she would have snapped a quick picture to memorialize his current alpha male pose. Proud new Papa bear in sooth, just barely shy of his spread out peacock crown tattering behind him. Unfuckingbelievable, the zombie apocalypse was surely around the corner. All she could do was to stare back at him with a blank expression; vampires did not do the whole mouth hanging wide open after all.

"I need you to find exact replicas of their clothing." Eric was wearing an unprecedentedly broad smile over his grand achievement to tend HIS family; this vampire was in for a major reality check.

"There are no labels Eric!" Pam all but screeched in outrage as she vamp rummaged through the pile of cloths on the floor.

"Figure it out Pam and get a couple extras of her dress" this time his smile turned purely predatory as he flew backwards through the open window located just behind him, protectively clutching HIS family to him with his massive hands.

They could not fit him more perfectly and he sure could not be more perfect for them; Yep, major reality check coming right up!

"Sure thing perv." Pam snickered perceptively of the unfortunate doom for said garments.

Eric thunderous laugh was his only response as he shot straight into the sky with a speed of a meteor sent on a collision mission. The solitude of flying was one of his favorite activities, but having HIS precious family along for the ride could arguably make it his all-time favorite, just their mere presence could center him as none other ever could prior and simultaneously unnerve him just as intensely. Their abrupt arrival into his undead life was an enigma, a blessing and a curse all wrapped into one. Eric clung to them so tightly close to his stone hard body that he was sure that if they were awake they would have squirmed in painful protest, but as relaxed as he was over his impeccable ability in the aeronautical means of transport, after centuries of mastering this vampire gift of his it was like a second layer to his cold skin and he felt confident in taking flight no less than preforming any other mundane motion. Yet there was this irrational fear of him dropping them midair vehemently nagging and taunting him in the back of his mind. He chose to forgo his usual flying routes over wooded areas, they did provide for better concealment and avoidance of mortals' prying eyes. He opted to take the straight approach directly over the city. There were multiple reasons behind his decision; the rancid smells of burnt gas fuels, pungent southern foods, urban litter and such would easily mask any trace of their alluring smell. Isolated woodlands were where Supes favored lurking and he was not going to take the chance even from a thousand feet in the air.

The flight was only a few seconds short of a half minute at the speed he was ripping through the night sky. Nevertheless in order to subdue his growing paranoia over their overall safety he flew at an unusually high altitude across the vast metropolis, just at the cusp of freezing temperature. When he quickly glanced down at the peaceful expressions of HIS family and observed their eyelids gathering ice and their kissable lips turning blue Eric all but forgot about aerodynamics and flew straight into a full blown panic in the literal sense of the word.

He practically took the front door to his lake house off its hinges in his hysterical panicking. Vamping at ungodly speed through the house like none other than the all-powerful Sun was on his fanged ass. He blasted his state of the art shower to scorching heat successfully converting the confined space of his daychamber into a proper Nordic sauna while frantically rubbing any surface of their persons anywhere he could get his large hands on, while still clinging to them in utter terror. Vamp speed has never been so useful before. Though he did not need to Eric was actually holding his proverbial breath as he sent a prayer to anyone willing to hear him, in that exact moment he was ready to sell his very soul. If he even possessed such a thing plus the Devil was brave enough to take on that hot mess, Eric would have traded it for HIS family without so much as a single thought. The hot steam and rough ministration of his frenzied hands bought their ghostly pale color back to their normal healthy tone in no time, forcing Eric to sigh in heartfelt gratitude after what felt to him like an eternity of being stuck in perdition.

"FUUUUUCK!" he shouted, how many times can a vampire experience a proverbial cardiac arrest, no fucking wonder bloodbags were so fucking fragile.

Still feeling unsettled and so unlike himself Eric wasted no time gently laying all three of them on his emperor custom sized bed along with a makeshift sack containing the yellow crystal stone and numerous vials and pouches from Dr. Ludwig. He patted the back of his jeans belt and was truly glad that the rolled pamphlet was still there (last thing he needed was to have to call the little hell troll to tell her that a dog ate his homework). He moved on autopilot, opting to give them a bath tomorrow night and took each one of them with him consecutively into the shower stall. Making sure to very tenderly wash every nook and cranny of their bodies, he paid extra special attention to keep their air supply free of any obstruction and far away from the water stream. Just the intolerable thought that he almost lost them countless times in one single night had him more vigilant and tense than he ever thought he was capable of. Of course he could not resist and play a little with Sookie's enthralling assets, he did end up getting lost for a while in a tug of war with HIS girls, aka the most perfect pair of breasts and he may have not so innocently caged her against the tile wall with her back to him as he sheathed his dick between her crossed thighs rubbing one off against the most warmly inviting pussy just to calm his nerves. Best _hand/body_ job ever, leaving him deliriously giddy over his nothing short of wretched pubescent antics. The selfish vampire inside him was determined to take advantage of the current situation and that was that.

Eric walked back into the bedroom naked, absently toweling his long golden hair as he checked on the gathered Intel of tonight's bombing using his phone, which was nothing he already did not know or suspect of. He decided to wait for Pam to brief him on their way to the meeting and turned his attention back to HIS family, which took precedence over everything from now on, even if others were not aware of it yet. They looked angelic all snuggled together, just showered, dried and smelling fresh in his large bed, as if they had always belonged there and that was simply because they always have in his eyes. Eric readily joined them and happily rearranged their bodies as his personal electric blankets.

First he read through the 67 page report about the only five living members of the Stackhouse family, which was unusually short for his techi guy Spider and left him with even more questions and confusion of who HIS family really was than before. It all read like a bad attempt for a summary report of War and Peace by a first grader. Their full names, dates and places of birth, financial assets or their total lack of any, more like their never ending debt. For fuck sake the report he had him do, out of pure curiosity, over his long gone human kin had more meat to it than this shit.

The Stackhouses obviously favored home births, because mysteriously there were no hospital records for any of them. Eric's bullshit meter was instantly raised specifically in regards to the two younglings currently laying on his chest, he was also surprised to find that he has been absently caressing them the entire time. Eric just could not fathom where this need for tenderness towards them was coming from; it was so atypical for a vampire. There was no father listed for Hunter and Addy just Sookie as their birth mother, though peculiarly there was no OBGYN evidence of any recorded pregnancy or even a single shred of trail suggesting it could have been a closed adaption. None of her bank statements showed her receiving any form of child support, not even government supplements. It was like someone mysteriously just dropped the children off in to her care with the needed paperwork right at her front doorstep. Supe conspiracy anyone?

What was even more maddening was that Sookie did not check any parenting books from the local library prior to the day Addy was supposedly born. She did exhibit a broad love for reading, the topic raging from any ancient civilization to border line pornographic romance novels. Eric laughed out loud. HIS innocent Angel had hidden naughty depths to her intellect, which he had no objections unlocking in the future. Oh, the fun they will have together.

The Stackhouses also did not believe in any form of social media, actually there was no evidence for them even owning a single computer let alone internet access. Who the fuck does not in this day and age? The pictures Spider provided were of Sookie and her brother Jason from their high school year book. There were no pictures for Addy and Hunter and the only one of Adele, their grand grandmother, was from some weird ass club The Descendants of the Glorious Death gathering. The Fuck redneck bullshit was that? Eric shook his head; only in Louisiana. Seems they acquired cell phones services only six months ago and only the most basic one at that. They kept such an extremely low profile that it had Eric audibly wonder what they were trying to hide. The Stackhouse clan was also rumored to be the town freaks, though no particular reason was given other than "_they ain't right"_. Double what the fuck? Adele seemed to be the only well-respected member of Bon Temps and there were some very colorful descriptions of young Mr. Stackhouse from the local female population, successfully painting him as the surrounding towns' insatiable _tomcat_. A man after Eric's heart, too bad they will never cross paths.

HIS Valkyrie was a barmaid of all things, well not anymore that was for fucking sure and working for none other than Sam Merlotte of all creatures. Eric kept a very tight vigilance on all Supes in his area and was well aware of the lonesome Shifter, a pathetic waste of supernatural genetics with that self-loathing and self-imposed Supe isolation attitude of his. The rumor had it that HIS Angel and her Boss had recently been spotted on dates and that was it for Eric.

His vision was instantly reduced to nothing but a bright burning bloodthirsty red: The Shifter was FUCKING DEAD!

Fuck the shitload of paperwork, it was going to consist of one single sentence: NONE TOUCHES WHAT IS MINE!

His new IPhone was once more history as he crushed it into million pieces in his livid state. He turned his gaze to Sookie staring at her though slit eyes, she was lucky she was comatose and very fucking unlucky that her already substantial punishment just doubled in its severity. Knowing himself well enough that if he did not leave the room immediately he was going to let her have it right then and there. He abruptly jumped off the bed forcing himself to calm down by pacing back in forth with his hands tightly tugging at his golden hair. She was not even awake yet and driving him as crazy as to act so like a pathetic bloodbag.

He could not bring himself to read anything else about them tonight and it was also plainly obvious that Spider's phone interviews and digital espionage was not going to cut it, thus he decided that in order to get what he needed he would have to send some boots on the ground so Pam will just have to lower herself and wear some fucking Nike's and a damn checked shirt if needed.

He speedily applied the malodorous herbs to their skin, grabbed Dr. Ludwig's pamphlet and secluded himself inside his office far away from Sookie in the hopes to forget the last bit of information and not fly into a murderous rage and immediately go after the fucking poor excuse for a Shifter.

As he was diligently doing his _homework_ Eric was plagued with even more questions. First and foremost, sure he never produced nor cared after any human children, but really who knew how many towheaded bright blue eyed snotters he may have sired with his love for cumming inside the warmth of any female snatch, but when did the rearing of a child turn into a full time fucking job? From what he could remember from his human life you feed them, you bath them, you watch after them until they are ready to take up a sword or work the fields to earn their keep. There were no fucking special _developmental brain foods_ or the importance of fully understanding your _child's psychology _and his people did just fucking fine thank you very fucking much. This shit read like he was going to be pursuing a PhD in rocket science. On top of it all according to his buddy Google, Addy and Hunter's clothing sizes were for someone 4-6 months older then who Sookie claimed them to be and the games the little hell troll recommended he obtain were for children even years older than they were. Fucking Ludwig was obviously going senile with old age.

He was lost in his thoughts and subconsciously tapping into Pam's shopaholic mania as he was ordering anything that displayed _Daddy's little_ (…) on the front when he heard the approaching vehicle announcing the arrival of his housekeeper and her sons. He quickly checked on HIS family well-being before vamping upstairs to deal with them.

"Good evening Master Eric." a good looking woman in her fifties with dark hair and piercing green eyes greeted him with a broad smile, followed by two well-built young men in their early twenties.

"Good evening to you too Desi, boys." He gave them each a nod which they silently returned.

"How can we be of service tonight?"

"First do I have you permission to glamour you in order to keep the information confidential?" Eric was all business straight out of the gate.

Yes, he did not need to ask for their permission, however the Kostovi family has been exceptionally loyal servants to his entire bloodline for numerous centuries and had rightfully earned their respect. Especially the patience they displayed when dealing with his spoiled bratty Childe. Though only humans they were granted full protection and it even extended to Eric working his connections for the boys to be stationed at the nearby Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, to their mother's delight and their utter disappointment.

"Of course" all three answered in union.

"Good, as of this night there are three new additions to the Northman clan." Eric announced proudly.

"Congratulations Master!" Desi clapped enthusiastically when she worriedly asked next "Wait, aren't you supposed to be in the ground with them for the next three days?"

"Ah, there is the rub they are of the breathing variety. A young mother with two younglings." the smile never left his face.

"OOOOkey." Desi really did not know how to react to _that_, except to pray that they will not be her Master's choice for dinner.

"Desi, relax I'm not going to drain them in fact I AM keeping them as MINE, the reason I wanted you and the boys here is because I'm needed to attend a meeting in a little while and I need you to look after them in case they wake." Eric spoke in a very calm voice in an attempt to subdue their elevated heart beats, though internally he was not the least bit happy that anyone would suggest he indulged in the teacups blood. "Fangtasia was bombed tonight and they got caught up in it, resulting in them falling into a coma. The doctor informed me that most likely they wouldn't wake for a week, but if they do I need you to inform me _immediately_."

"Yes, Master"

"Boys, you are to guard them with your lives and call me if you see _anything_ suspicious."

"Yes, Master!" they answered in union, a very fucking annoying habit of theirs.

"Bobby will be here shortly with provisions and Octavia is on her way to give you a hand for the next week. I will arrange for the boys leave with Colonel Flood later tonight. You are to treat and regard them as MINE. Am I understood?" he raised his signature eyebrow at them.

"Yes, Master" they all somehow managed to get out.

All three just stared at him with their mouths hanging open, making Eric laugh loudly and wonder if he was indeed going crazy. He caught their eyes with his and promptly pulled them one by one under his glamour.

"You will not divulge their existence to anyone under any circumstances. You will not allow them to leave my daychamber under any circumstances!" he ordered, almost growling.

"Yes, Master." They all answered with dreamy like voices proving that his glamour has taking full effect.

"Excellent. Her name is Sookie and the children names are Hunter and Addy."

"How old are they?" asked Desi, the boys stayed quiet as usual.

"She is almost 25, the boy is almost two and the girl is 6 months old. Here are the instructions for their care the doctor provided me with. I have read them and familiarized myself, you are expected to do the same and pass them to Octavia." He gave her what looked like a book with nothing but a blank face.

Surely he was not going to approach raising children like he was following some kind of a car manual, was he? Desi gaped at him in earnest as she wordlessly accepted the proffered material. OH boy! Well, he will figure it out soon enough, let him live out his fantasy for as long as he could.

The front door opened and in came Bobby the moronic dayman huffing and puffing like he just ran a 10K marathon carrying million shopping bags.

"Master, I was able to obtain the organic foods, but the only stores open at this time at night selling baby paraphernalia are Walmart or Walgreens and none of them have the quality you required, but no doubt will do just as fine. There's a baby boutique in Shreveport that carries the high-end brands, but it's closed until Monday or I can order them online and pay the extra to have everything shipped over night for you. What would you like me to do, Master?" He finished with a tone that said he did not see what the big deal was over some crazy ass diapers and baby bottles of all things.

Eric was on him so fast Bobby did not even have time to blink before he found himself pinned against the wall and staring at a pair of very scary looking razor sharp fangs.

"Bobby, you will do exactly what you are told and accomplish it in the exact time you are given and not a second after. I do not give a single fuck how you do it, you can wake up the store owners and buy the damn store itself for all I care. Do you understand?" Eric hissed with such venom making the gown man in his grip literally piss himself in fear.

"Yes, Master." Bobby gulped out as the warm liquid trailed down his legs.

"This was your one and only fuckup boy. Am I clear?" Eric crooked an eyebrow and did not even wait for response as he tossing him to the side like a dirty rag "Get out of my fucking sight. NOW!" at least he did not shit himself as most tend to do.

The boys just doubled over laughing as Bobby and his drenched pants made a hasty exit, earning them a very angry look from their mother.

"What?" they asked in sync.

"Don't you dare give me that _what_ or y'all be next!" she threatened.

That had Eric doubled in laughter internally as he recalled the last time their mother laid down the law on them with the biggest wooden spoon he had ever seen. He was still in the midst of revisiting the pleasant memory when he heard an unfamiliar vehicle approach the main gate, what really surprised him was that the intruder was not repelled by the strong wards he had in place to turn around and leave immediately and instead he could clearly make out the idiot getting out of what Eric surmised to be a truck.

"Stay here and guard them!" he barked as he vamped out of the house and took flight in the direction of the soon to be dead fool.

There was only one detectable heartbeat, the smell was familiar and very close to that of HIS family, so close that no other than Jason Stackhouse himself was currently dangling halfway from the front silver coded gate and so preoccupied with what he was doing that it was almost a half-minute before he even saw the hovering vampire in midair only inches away from his face on the other side of said gate.

"The Fuuuck!" Jason yelped as he lost his footing and landed square on his ass with a loud thud on the harsh asphalt.

Eric was in front of him instantly as his right eyebrow went into his hairline in an unspoken question.

"Sum'bitch dat hurt! Hey man, y'all can't just snuk up on s'body like dat or y'all just askin' fo' trouble!" Jason huffed as he got up and started brushing himself off.

Great, a full blooded redneck. Another one of Louisiana's bright and brilliant geniuses, a dime a dozen in these parts unfortunately. Eric refused to even respond to whatever the fuck kind of English that was and just continued to stare at the dimwit.

"Y'all deaf or s'thing?"

"What are you doing here boy?" Eric asked impatiently.

"Y'all first, who the fuck are you?" Jason asked just as impatiently.

Eric just growled back in warning that now was the time for Jason to start singing like a canary before he ripped his head clean off.

"Fuck ya fanger, where's my sister?" Jason shouted as he took an attack position.

"And why would you think your sister is anywhere near here boy?" Eric asked curiously.

"FUCK YA, I ain't no boy and I ain't thinkin' I KNOW Sookie and the kids are in here!"

"And how exactly do you know that _boy_?"

"I ain't afraid of ya fanger, let my sister and kids go or we're gotta have r'selves a big ole problem, y'all hear me?" Jason crooked his own eyebrow in challenge.

"Boy you are obviously too stupid to know what's good for. Look at me!" Eric ordered, he was done listening to nonsense and glamouring the idiot it was.

Jason may not have inherited his sister's freaky mind reading ability, but he was somehow able to sense people's emotions and shift in energy around him as well as influence them back and though he was unable to feel the vampire his senses was screaming that something was way off just like when he first approached the gateway. The energy in the air was getting thicker and stronger by the second and seemed to be concentrating directly towards his head and it was becoming impossible to repel when suddenly he remembered of vampires ability to fuck with people's minds by staring them in the eyes.

"Hold that thought Goldilocks!" Jason shouted and frantically started tapping the top of his thick head in search for his sunglasses, never taking his eyes off the vampire.

Jason smiled in utter triumph as he proudly slid them down his face; a true southern gentleman never took off his sunglasses even during the night. Fucker didn't know who he messin' with!

Eric just raised both of his eyebrows in pure disbelief, almighty Odin please tell him HIS family was not as dumb as this poor excuse of cerebral space and how the fuck did he know that Eric was trying to glamour him. Eric was in his face instantly using the full power of his glamour, the last bloodbag he did that to end up being spoon feed for the rest of his pathetic life. No fucking sunglasses were going to prevent him from finding what he needed to know.

"You will tell me how you of this, BOY!" he hissed.

"I can feel my sister inside the house." Jason answered in a robotic matter unable to fight off the vampire influence any longer.

"How?"

"I don't know."

"Have you always been able to feel your sister?"

"Yes."

"Can you also feel the children?"

"Yes."

"Have you always been able to feel the children?"

"No."

"Since when then?"

Jason just stared back blankly making Eric growl in irritation. Glamouring was not an exact science and one needed to word his question just right to get the information he wanted.

"When exactly can you feel the children?"

"Only when they're close."

"How close?"

"A thousand feet."

"But you can always feel your sister no matter the distance. Correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you usually sense their overall presence or can you feel their actual emotions?"

"Both."

Interesting.

"Can you do that with other people too?"

Silence.

No matter how hard Eric tried to push through, there was this invisible force field guarding that part of Jason's brain repelling him every time he came anywhere near it and somehow lessening Eric's overall glamouring effect.

Very interesting.

"What else can you do?"

Silence.

Very fucking interesting indeed.

"Can your sister do that too?"

"No."

"Can the children?"

"No."

"Can your grandmother do that?"

"No."

"Do they have any special abilities of their own?"

Silence.

FUCK, so not what Eric wanted to hear.

"Does your Grandmother have any special abilities?"

Silence.

"Does anyone know where you are?"

"No."

"Does anyone know you went to look for your sister and the kids?"

"my Gran."

"You will now go home and forget me and that you even came here tonight. You will tell you grandmother that you found your sister's and her kids' burned ashes in front of a bar called Fangtasia. Do you understand?" Eric growled angrily.

"Yes." Jason answered obediently and swayed from side to side from the sheer force of Eric's glamour as he turned back to get into his truck.

Eric did not move from the spot he was in, he was trying to decipher all he had learned about HIS family and not getting anywhere, just more fucking unanswered questions. In normal circumstances Jason would have not survived after Eric was done with him, at the very least he would have been detained for further questioning. However, the lake house was lacking the proper room for that and taking him right now may arouse unwanted interested from others. Plus he really was pressed for time as he could feel Pam getting closer by the second. He needed to assert caution and patience when dealing with finding out who HIS family was or he could easily put them on the radar of too many spying creatures. He was still contemplating what the best course of action would be, when Pam all but drove straight into him clearly not in a mood.

"We have a problem." Eric calmly stated.

"No shit! I have been trying to call you for the last half hour."

"About what?" Eric asked irritated as hell, just when is this night going to fucking end already?

"André is going to be at the meeting."

Eric just hissed at hearing the name. Fuck, the Queen's Childe was the last vampire Eric needed sniffing around him right now.

"Oh, that's not all, she somehow knows that you found the bombs hours prior to the explosion and is PISSED she wasn't informed about your plan. You were right there is a spy lurking around."

"Fuck!" he roared.

"Wait, I'm not done. What do they say these days, oh yeah, _it gets better_! Rumor has it that as a punishment she will be loaning you out to New York for a month as that is where the next attack is expected to happen."

"FUUUUUCK" Eric roared, kicking Pam's car sending it flying high into the air.

"God dammit, Eric! This is my third car you've destroyed in less than a year!" Pam shouted at him.

Eric just gave her a warning look. He had way bigger fucking problems on his hands then replacing Pam's fucking soccer mom minivan.

….

**So, yeah…. Eric could easily be the poster child for Anger Management and Sex Addicts, but isn't that why we love his vampire _butt_ *snicker* so much? :)**

**What are your thoughts: Love it, hate it or maybe leave it? I would love to get your feedback :)**


	6. come back to me

**What inspires us is as fickle as life itself. I would like to dedicate this AU story to the late Angela Vaughan, known in fanfiction circles as EricIzMine, for her incredible talent has no equal. Thank you Angela, for sharing your Multi-Verse with us all. For proving to us that there are layers upon layers to any old tale and mostly I personally want to thank you for igniting something within me to reach for that Mystical &amp; Magical place. Where, time, space and logic are in the eyes of the beholder. May you rest in heavenly peace, you will be forever missed by us.**

**Your, adoring fans. **

**I want to thank each and every one of YOU GUYS for all your wonderful support and encouragement. That, indeed, it is quite expectable and alright for me to continue loosing myself inside the magic of AU ;) **

**I hope this AU train ride brings you some Merry Holidays Cheers :) Love all of you guys and many thanks to jules3677 and treewitch7031 for their help and support!**

*** Now, if you are anything like me you would have this blasting on repeat as you write/read this: ****youtube /watch?v=28KBGO7MiRo**

**Fasten your seatbelts people! Shit's about to go down on this week's AU train ride :)**

…..

Pam's soccer mom minivan came down with a raucous bang on its roof. Compacted and ready to be disposed of at any junkyard, which in redneck Louisiana meant any empty patch of lawn or vacant lot. If she wanted to retrieve any items from the _paranoiac_ escape kit Pam kept stashed in her former van. She was shit out of luck. Not unless, she used the 'Jaws of Life' or in this case Eric's hands. Because, this tangled mess was way above her vampiric strength. Knowing from previous incidents tonight that she was not permitted to be anything, but helpful and expected to keep her _fucking_ _trap_ shut. She had no choice, but be on her best behavior. Thus, Pam dived right into the proverbial mayhem, which was now the solo purpose of her newfound undead life.

"Spy, then Queen _Dearest_, but before that we need to get rid…" her tone was neutral, there was a pinch of excitement in her crystal blue eyes, only visible to someone who knew her _inside and out_ and a shitload of her elation was flooding their bond.

Then again, nothing but pure boredom indicated in her demeanor.

Only a vampire would be so cryptic, just for the hell of it. Go figure!

"Let me check on them one last time and then we can go." Eric interrupted in a voice just as calm before vamping, more like flew, like a lunatic into the house.

She had no problems understanding her Maker's thought process. From now on it was _keep Sookie and the children protected above all else_.

Walking into tonight's vampire meeting required any trace of Sookie and the kids to be completely absent from their bodies before even thinking of doing anything else. Therefore, Pam disposed of her former soccer van in the property bayou. Even though, Eric owned a chop shop on the other side of the city capable of eradicating any trace that her van actually existed. But that was what one got, when he did not pass his flying genes onto his Childe and expected her finest performance at a moment's notice.

The _Joie de vivre_ joker, her Maker was. NOT!

Eric used the time to vamp straight into his downstairs daychamber in Lake House and took a second to really _look _at HIS family. Bathing in the tranquility that only their presence could grant him. This time, however, he consented to be entirely engulfed in the warmth of the bright light that HIS family emanated. If Eric did not sound crazy to himself he would have sworn it was the Sun itself. The feeling was one of a warm summer breeze, making his cold skin tingle under its rejuvenating power. The sense that told you that you were indeed alive and whispered in your ear that you belonged, that you existed and gave you affection and reasoning beyond just mere survival. The emotional chaos it evoked within Eric was beyond terrifying. Scaring him shitless with what would happen, if he were to allow the gates to fully open and consent to all what they _meant_ to him in. What would happen to him? To them? Eric was ill-equipped to take on that battle, not without having all the facts and means to protect himself, and them, if needed.

He was still pissed over the fact that Bobby had only gotten part of the supplies for the children and he had to improvise clean bed sheets, from the linen closet, into a diaper for Addy per his _homework _instructions. He made sure to cover them with the soft duvet for balminess, even rearranged some pillows on each side of the children in case they were to move in their _sleep_ for some reason. Yes, it was utterly atypical for him to be so considerate or naïve to pretend like they were just taking the nap of their lives. But, the harsh reality was just too intolerable. This feeling of belonging they projected put a smile on his face and literally warmed his cold dead body. He kissed the kids' foreheads gently and left a lingering kiss on Sookie's bountiful lips before he activated the security code and vamped to the kitchen upstairs.

"Desi, I want them and Octavia settled temporarily here for the next two nights. After that, the new house should be complete and ready to move in to permanently. Boys, you are to safeguard them with your lives for the next 7 days. We may be leaving for New York tomorrow, so have everything ready, if we have to depart." Eric ordered in his usual authoritative manner.

They silently nodded to him in understanding before they began their assigned tasks. Desi started walking towards Eric's daychamber and raised her phone showing him the baby monitor app in passing, earning her a genuine smile from him. She had already begun making a large pot of chicken noodle soup while the boys were making up a sleep schedule and double checking the various weapons secreted throughout the house.

All Eric wanted was to be with HIS family, but karma seemed to be a fucking mean old bitch on a mission tonight forcing him to grudgingly vamp outside to meet Pam. She was covered in mud up to her ankles and saliently waiting for him, while checking her perfect nails. Bored as EVER. She did not say anything as Eric picked her up and soared into the night sky. In less than half of a minute they had taken a shower, removed any trace of HIS family from their person, changed clothing and met in the office of yet another one of Eric's safe houses.

Of course his desk proudly displayed a picture of Pam in all her Ibiza - stripper envy - _glory_.

All of his homes were known only to his bloodline, plus one or two worthy vampires from his time as a High Enforcer and the Kostovi family. Because, they were glamoured into never revealing the locations, even if it was to mean their own demise. He conducted all his business far away from any of his secured resting places for many reasons. With his main office in Fangtasia destroyed, Warehouse 3 was going to become the new vampire _hubbub_ _central_. It took having to be discrete around bloodbags out of the equation all together.

Nowadays everyone was a fucking paparazzo it seemed..

"What of Queen _Dearest_?" Pam asked as she was stashing a silver dagger behind her back.

"We are keeping it casual" Eric smirked as he stashed one weapon after another on his person at vamp speed, seven in total.

Easily done with the expansive area he was working with. Two stakes: one wood and the other silver, it was always nice to have options. After all not everyone could pull brown or as Pam would say the guano color, properly. Three big ass knives: gold, iron and silver, you never knew where a vampire gathering could lead you too. One extra-large silver dagger, with a hook like bowed blade for maximum impairment and one kusarigama, a very handy tool with multipurpose applications. The last Eric mastered many centuries ago during his time in Japan as a High Enforcer accompanied with countless nights of sampling the local delicacy of exotic Geishas. That was one fucking weird ass nation with some of most austere social etiquettes, all right up to the moment you got their horny asses into your bed and then all bets were off. Let us not forget that this was also where Eric mastered the exquisite art of tight binding: Kinbaku or bondage as the younglings nowadays like calling it. Only few splendors in this world could rival a striking body fully painted with tattoos of ancient tales of its ancestors, tightly wrapped in a tortoise shell tie, ready for whatever you wish to inflict on it. Eric would have delightfully ventured down that memory lane of his past had it not been for Dr. Ludwig words ringing in his head on a constant loop. He needed to be more vigilant than ever before, since he had claimed HIS family. Eric was not going to take any chances of not having the proper weapons to defend them from whoever was after them - and him by extension.

His response to Pam's question was his own painstaking way of saying that they would continue to follow the usual plan, know everything their _Dearest_ Queen had her fangs into and if at any moment Eric said _plastic fork,_ it meant he was dethroning her eternal teenage ass. The original code word was _butter knife_, as that was what Eric used to imagine killing her with and he changed it about 50 years ago when the Queen's _Dearest_ child Andre decided Pam was to be his. The new phrase was a testament that Eric was indeed capable of keeping up with the times and most certainly it was a poetic justice.

"Do you have any suspicion who the spy may be?" Pam asked as they vamped over to the garage.

"I have too many." Eric laughed. "I walked into Fangtasia tonight, after I checked on all my other businesses and the night was like any other. I have a good one Pam. SSDD - Same shit different day. "Eric announced proudly while driving like a total maniac.

"So is SSDT - Same shit different toilet. Whatever, just name the assholes already!"

"Granny's earlier words came to mind: _They are coming. The paths are to cross once more, strive for abeyance shadows_." Eric imitated the Ancient Pythoness voice, as if he had spent centuries practicing doing just that. "Wouldn't it be fucking nice for once if she told me who the fuck was coming? Andre? The Queen? New York? Or that fucking Union? Those fuckers need to be destroyed immediately. Or how about Sookie and the children, and who are they really to me? That would be a good one to figure out right about the fuck NOW!" He hissed in frustration.

"So we are calling them the Union?"

"Yes. I need you to get Bubba here to watch over the remaining Stackhouses. He is to watch from a distance. I need more time with them. I need you to go and find out why "_they ain't right_. " He ordered as he was flying in and out of traffic.

Well, she did try to warn him that he could have picked a better batch of bloodbags for entertaining his midlife crisis with. Nonetheless, Pam remained mute and was setting everything up. Vamp typing on her phone like her undead life depended on how fast she executed his orders. Glamouring the shit out of the Shifter was something to look forward to, for sure.

"The fact that my Maker is on his way here is another interesting development." He continued thoughtfully.

The moment Eric laid eyes on HIS family he felt his Maker probing their blood bond and proceed towards his immediate location. Making him wonder, if he is the only one in the dark over what was occurring.

"I'm so excited." Pam actually smiled, fangs prominent.

Eric answered her in kind, also looking forward to seeing his Maker. Probably the only creature that could assist him in discovering who HIS family was and what was transpiring around and to him.

"As am I, my Childe, but before he arrives I want all the witches, vampires, FotS and whatever Supe aiding them in this fucked up Union of theirs slain immediately!" He barked infuriatedly as he parked his car 5 miles from Warehouse 3.

"Good bye, SSDD." Pam deadpanned in her usual bored tone as they vamped to the torture chamber holding their three prisoners.

Eric just smiled broadly at her as he grabbed one of the chairs and sat directly in front of the three naked men at vamp speed. He then stretched his massive warrior body agonizingly slow to allow them a view of every one of his chiseled muscles as they flexed in order of progression. Starting with his strong calves, all the way to the bulging cords of his neck and laced his fingers behind his head as he observed them. Let the Jedi mind fuckery begin!

Pam had seen his work so many times that she sedately leaned against the wall ready for his command to just leap in for the kill.

They had been wearing black from head to toe, as the remnants of their clothes on the floor revealed. Black paint camouflaging their faces, hair and hands. Clearly men that understood the art of war, as they were all of an impressive muscular built, broad shoulders, strong legs and arms, tall and obviously military trained. Shackled by their hands and feet, like fresh meat at a butcher shop. Eric remained silent as he watched them try to control every twitch and shiver, every muscle spasm of their naked bodies hanging midair in the cold damp cell. He listened to their steady heart beats, just patiently scrutinizing how long it took them to blink. They definitely had extensive training, because the smell of fear was not overpowering and displayed their true warrior sprints. Impressive.

"There is no camouflaging from Supes for you. I can see, smell, and hear you in the dark better than you can see on a bright sunny day. You smell delicious." Eric declared serenely, dropping his razor sharp fangs with an audible snap, while balancing the chair on its two back legs. "You smell strongly of testosterone, adrenaline, endorphins, a little fear and are no doubt internally chanting _mind over matter _and repeating your name, rank and serial number to yourselves. You come from the best current human militaries, true warriors indeed. What you humans fail to understand is that we Supernaturals can actually smell the chemistry of your blood and once we do, we never forget it. We can track it back to every one of your kin, we can follow it to every place you have been in the past month in just one night, and we can even determine how long you have spent at any given place by sampling how saturated the residue of your stench is in the air. Some Supe species can even track your whole life in less than an hour and some of us have eternity. Imagine what damage we can do with that much time. Now, I also know that I can glamour the information I want from you, but where would the fun be in that?"

Eric declared nonchalantly as he shifted his weight forward placing his elbows on his strong thighs and lacing his fingers together. Taking another couple of seconds just to observe and let them fully absorb his speech. It was always a pleasure to let bloodbags into their little secret that, indeed, there was more than one thing that goes bump in the night. If they only knew, every one of them would be working at NASA trying to figure out a way to relocate their pathetic asses as far away from Earth as possible.

Their vitals stayed steady, impressive.

"My senses are so acute that I can fully sense every single molecule in the air within half a mile, I can see more clearly than the Hubble Space Telescope within a mile and I can hear and identify every noise within two miles. That is without me even trying, now can you imagine if I were to fully concentrate on all my Supe senses?" Eric was the picture of serenity as he spoke.

He stretched his long muscular legs out from under him again, this time crossing them at his ankles and laced his fingers behind his head. It always unnerved humans to see vampires acting so mundanely. He took another second to really take in their essences for analysis as promised. He even dramatically took in a whiff of air, and did the hand gesture for theatrics.

Their vitals remained static, very impressive.

"Now, what you also don't know is that Supes can smell magic. The one currently surrounding you is certainly powerful. Be that as it may, it's not enough to restrain me. I can either kill you quicker than you can blink or I can torture you for the full length of you woeful lifespans."

Their vitals remained stable, warriors indeed. He took the time to contemplate if it was their training or if it was the magic controlling their vitals, because there was very little spike in their heart beats when he spoke. He had to act very cautiously, he did not have a single clue as to what the true intent of this ancient spell was. After a thousand years Eric obeyed one rule when it came to magic, you did not fuck with it unless you knew who its intended target was AND how to stop it in case it all went to shit. Which it always did with magic, hence his one and only rule.

"You reek of witches, but witches are not in possession of spells as powerful as this. They wouldn't even know how to deal with magic thousands of years old. There is also the faint secondhand trace of a Supe old enough to know all about such magic surrounding you. I am not interested in your FotS organization, the witches or vampires aiding you, the human government or any other bullshit you want to keep close to your beating hearts. I am interested only in the fucking mystical Supe at the helm of all of this shit." Eric calmly outlined.

He was still the picture of serenity with his crossed legs outstretched, fingers laced behind his head as he crooked his signature left eyebrow, fixed his piercing blue eyes directly into theirs indicating that this was when glamour became a mean old bitch, little boys. Royally fucked did not cover what they really were at the moment. They just did not know that glamour also worked so much more _smoothly_ when you focused your prey's mind on to the very spot that you too wanted to_ tap_ into. Pun fully intended, boys.

"Then you know that we are only soldiers that simply carry out orders and are not given all the Intel pertaining to the conflict." a man in his yearly thirties, light brown eyes and hair, larger than his _amigos,_ and obviously in charge, answered Eric with the same calm demeanor.

"Well, ain't life a mean ole bitch?" Eric said smiling with his fangs prominent and shifted his weight backwards balancing the chair on only one leg as he turned to gloat to Pam.

Unfortunately for Eric, as always his attempt on redneck _language_ was just that, an attempt.

"You're bringing SSDD back, Master." Pam duly answered checking the tips of her perfect painted nails.

"Whatever _My Childe_ needs, _My Childe_ gets." Eric purred at her with so much lust in his voice that he all but fucked her senseless against the wall.

Eric smiled brightly at Pam, the little circus display of his superior balance rattled the men enough to produce a spike in their vitals. He cheated again, he was actually flying.

Nevertheless, one of them reacted to the animalistic connotation in his words. Cheap trick on his part, but the quickest way to rile the true FotS and it never seemed to fail. A new idiotic religion against vampires under the name of The Fellowship of the Sun, who seemed to always get a little skittish when reminded of how vampires _reproduced_. Eric smiled, mostly because Pam and he had been aware of Andre's presence since they exited the car and were expecting him to open the door to the torture chamber in just three, two, … and we all knew how much Pam _loved_ the little prick, who has been relentlessly chasing after her for the last 50 years. A true creepy Supe Stalker now that was something you did not wish upon your worst enemies. He almost laughed out loud when the little shit barged in.

Judging by the feelings Pam was sending through their bond she was most definitely giving him the finger when they heard the familiar voice, earning her yet another bright smile.

"Sheriff. _Pamela, my dear_!" A creepy boy, who appeared to be in the awkward teenage years of sixteen or seventeen, and clearly in his sadistic 800's, greeted Eric tersely with a nod and purred Pam's name.

"Andre." Eric acknowledged him with a blank expression and a return nod. Pam just nodded.

This little shit could suck the fun out of undead life in a nanosecond. What Eric really wanted to do was kill the sick bastard for looking at Pam's face let alone her body. Ain't life a bitch, indeed? Andre could be an Emperor for all the flying fucks Eric gave, if he ever touched his Childe he would instantly lose his head. It was that fucking simple!

"I was informed that we'd captured those responsible." Andre announced as he circled the men, who were currently hanging stretched out in midair. Shackled by their hands to the ceiling and anchored to the floor with same heavy duty chains, like they were his own living art work.

"Correct." Eric answered.

However, Andre was not informed enough to know that he was not allowed access to them until after Eric was through questioning them. Obviously someone did not do their job properly and Eric now needed to clean house tonight on top of everything else.

"And what have we learned, Sheriff?" Andre asked taking a deep swift of their air.

"So far we have one true FotS." Eric replied boringly.

"And what of this magic smell?" Andre hissed irately.

"Of an ancient origin." Eric blandly replied.

Asshole! You have a nose, didn't you just fucking use it a second ago?

"Indeed." Andre said gleefully as he vamped to acquire an enormous knife hanging next to Pam, brushing against her body in the process before he began tearing like a rabid animal into the chest of the largest of the captives. The grown man screamed as his body registered the pain.

Andre was just doing what Andre always did, being the true sadistic little psychopath he was.

Warriors, as those were rare these days, and deserved to be gifted to a swift death and most importantly Eric did not know anything of the magic surrounding them.

Andre, you impatient Moron!

"I advise caution!" Eric stressed hurriedly.

"Who sent you?" Andre growled with so much loathing in his eyes it was a wonder the prisoners were still breathing as he split their kidneys and spleen wide open in one swift move, making them scream in terror as the large knife mangled their flesh.

Eric sent an urgent wave of caution towards Pam, this level of carnal bloodlust was excessive even for a psycho like little shit Andre. The more of the men's blood that covered him, the more saturated the stench of ancient magic permeated the room. It was turning Andre into a savage beast in under a nanosecond, quickly sinking into him and in a clear path to take control over Eric and Pam. A feeling of pure bloodlust in its prime form: kill everything.

"You will never get to MY Queen!" Andre boomed the magic words, that seemed to trigger the spell like an atomic bomb as the heads of the three prisoners fell to the floor and he savagely sunk his fangs into the severed throat of the last one.

Fucking psychotic Andre!

Everything happened too fast even for Eric. The magic of the spell was released with such power that Eric had only enough time to shield Pam's body with his own. The so recognizable feeling of darkness, hate and need for blood possessed him unreservedly. When, all of a sudden instead of attacking the two vampires next to him, Eric was safely sucked into a space of nonexistence. Pure blackness, flattened emotion, inability to feel anything of one's physique. Stuck in nowhere in its true meaning. It was like he was trapped in a fluid suspension of a colloidal solid. All his senses were inoperative. He could not smell, see, hear or move in any direction. Yet, somehow he felt his essence to be one of a bright burning light. His vision started to clear and Eric noted three free floating Waxing Gibbous in the vast distance. He darted towards them at top speed, running on pure instinct. The likes, if he had been summoned by them. The closer he got the more he recognized the inimitable ambrosia of HIS family. First he felt Addy, her hammering heartbeat, then her fear. Her need for her mother and father so vividly, like he had a permanent blood bond with her. Like she was of his own flesh and blood. Eric did not know how to react to that! Unbelievable! After that he felt Hunter. The terror and determination in his small figure while he searched for his mother, his sister, his entire family. Unfuckingbelievable! Last, and for some reason he was very surprised to feel Sookie. Though, logically who was he expecting it to be, but her? She radiated her unique warmth even now. However, she felt as if she was lost in pursuit of something barely out of her grasp. The moment she detected the new presence she instinctively shielded the children behind her, though she also instinctively knew she was safe with this stranger. Her beauty was breathtaking, as always. There was nothing more than Eric wanted than to embrace them, to protect them for eternity.

"Come back to me, my Valkyrie." Eric spoke softly as he slowly offered Sookie what felt should be his right hand followed by his left in the direction of the children.

"Who are you?" she asked, a little stunned and unsure. She sensed she should know the answer and much more.

Somehow Sookie felt like she more than knew this magnificent creature, she knew him better than she knew her own self. It was like she had a direct connection to his very core, his soul. She had no doubt that he would always love and protect them and never stop searching for them, no matter what it cost. No matter how many attempts or how much times it took to break the hex that was ripping them all apart. She felt like they all belonged, like time and space never existed for them, not in a concept that she could wrap her head around.

"You have always known me, my Angel." He soothed her gently.

Not wanting to scare her off, because he too knew her better than he knew his own self and there was no question that she would tear him to pieces, without any hesitation, if she so much as suspected him to be a threat to her or was it their babies? Thus, breaking whatever it was that connected them all together.

The children on the other hand inched towards him the second they sensed him, instantly feeling safer in his presence. The yang to their entire yin they felt.

"We are safe here, my beloved Warrior." Sookie felt the need to comfort his fears.

"I miss you all, Lover. Return to me, my Sookie!" Eric felt like pleading, begging for a miracle.

The connection between them quickly began to fade into shimmering dust, ripping them away from Eric for the frillionith time it seemed and it hurt so fucking much. It was unbearable. The pain was so intense it reached beyond time and distance. Eric's vision was fast refocusing back on the torture chamber, back to his reality. He was a mere hairsbreadth away from reaching the children when they darted back to help their mother as he heard her fading voice.

"Not until I find…" Sookie screamed in horror at losing Eric for the millionth time, again.

Eric never got to hear what it was she was searching for. The memories of what just happened, where he had been and any information he had learned of how they were connected to him was quickly fading in Eric's cognizance. All he was left with was the emptiness he felt in the center of his chest, surrounded by a burning pain for HIS family. He landed right back on top of reality just as quickly as he had been hijacked from it. He was gone less than a second and brought back to the exact moment that Pam's Supe Stalker Andre was about to tear into her like a fucking deranged animal in pursuit of an optimum prize. Foam dripping off his fangs the likes of a vile beast, whilst staring at Pam. No way would she survive, if he got his fangs and cock into her. Contrary to any other day when Pam could easily clean the streets with the fucker.

The stench of powerful magic was reeking off Andre's pubescent body and he was moving at the speed of someone million years his senior and one of pure madness. He was no longer in control of his mind or actions, or strength. That was for fucking certain.

Eric had less than a fraction of a second to first somehow suppress the bloodlust trying to overtake Pam and him all over again, before killing Andre. If, necessary.

Everything was happening at such a fast rate that it was unbelievable for someone even as old as Eric to witness. Yet, _unfuckingbelievable_ seemed to be his best buddy tonight, as Eric was somehow able to experience everything in ultra-slow motion. Matrix style: sleek moving cow, evasion of milk bullets and all. The whole Kung Pow scene was just short of Eminem flawlessly rap/screaming in Andre's ear "Go to sleep bitch! Die, mothafucka, die! Time's up, bitch, close ya eyes!" Eric could not only detect the magically boosted bloodlust, he could actually tangibly observe it from all angles. Stalk it and analyze it in vivid details. It called for nothing less than destruction. It tasted of vacuity and rot. He could make out its physical form of a black luminosity. Reminding him of the one that burst out of his chest earlier tonight. The one that called for Eric to protect HIS family above everything. The thought of them ignited the burning pain in the center of his core. Lighting the match and setting him ablaze. Eric could have sworn he felt Sookie pushing her sunny warmth through his heart. As though, she was trying to help Eric release his own pure black pellet of energy to fight off the ancient magic threatening Pam and him.

Whatever happened next was way too fast for Eric to recall.

All he knew was the next time his mind came back into focus there was no trace of any magic anywhere and little shithead Andre was letting out one of his usual whimpered hisses as he landed directly into Eric proffered hands. Everything seemed to be back to normal, if only magic was not a mean old bitch. Eric did not trust Andre even more now, if that was even possible. He quickly searched for Pam in his blood while she assured him that she was just dandy and silently asked him 'WTF?' just happened. Eric really did not know and had no time to answer her as he slammed Andre into the floor with all his might. He restrained himself just enough at the last second, resulting in only smashing Andre's skull into million tiny pieces and successfully liquefying all of his spinal cord into undead bone marrow or the SoB would most definitely been no more.

"Control your urges youngling or I will control them for you!" Eric snarled in Andre's face as he displayed his alpha male strength and fangs to him right before he pinned him utterly immobile to the stone floor with his right 15 and a half size steel-toe boot.

One wrong move and the little shit was dead, for good. Double entendre intended.

Andre only snarled and hissed in response as his crippled body refused to cooperate with his all-consuming desire to fight back. There was something beyond satisfying to see the little prick so vulnerable and broken as Eric had his foot strategically placed over his throat. Just one definitive stomp was all it would take to sever the asshats' head. To say that Eric was not tempted to pretend to lose his balance was the understatement of his millennium long undead life.

"Pam, get him some bagged blood." Eric ordered never taking his eyes off her pathetic stalker. His tone read loud and clear that he would not fault her, if she decided to take her sweet ass time executing his wishes.

In fact he encouraged it. Andre was not going anywhere.

And boy, did she? Pam did not come back for at a couple of minutes and in vampires' terms that felt like an eternity. Making Andre roar in pain the entire time. If, Eric was not so entertained watching the little asswipe suffer so beautifully he would have gone into downtime. The sight was far too exquisite to miss. Pam just hurled the three cold bags of blood at Andre all the while thinking that even the shit deemed TrueBlood would be a waste on someone like him. The healing process on Andre's body started instantaneously, but evidently not fast enough as he was still lying motionlessly compelling Eric to bend down and stuff the first bag into his mouth as he used his foot to forcefully assist him into puncture it with his fangs. Just short from shattering all his teeth in the process. The little shit was lucky vampires did not gag, because the bag was most certainly stuffed deep down his throat.

"Are you in control of yourself now or do you need further _help_ feeding yourself?" Eric smirked at him from above.

"I'm perfectly in control." Andree hissed right before he quickly downed the other two bags of cold blood. "Can you say the same of yourself, Northman? Next time you try to restrain me from killing prisoners you better have a very good reason, _Sheriff_!" Andre growled back displaying his fangs as he vamped towards the door.

By the fuckedup way he was moving Andre was still in need of at least a couple of more bags of blood to recover wholly.

He stopped at the threshold, his skull still wide open and smirked as he looked at the mangled corpses in triumph. They looked like carcasses which animals, birds, insects, Mother Nature herself had been nibbling on.

Andre locked his piercing stare into Pam's eyes and tapped the tip of his right fang with his tongue, before he was out of there.

Twisted Little Fuck!

"I vote that constitutes as sexual harassment in the work place, Eric. If not that, the vermin will agree that there is enough probable cause to kill my stalker on the reasonable suspicion that his ass may be cursed." She deadpanned, checking her nails.

Eric was circling the three corpses scrutinizing them closely. The damage was stunning, a true piece of art. Every blood vessel had exploded and every vital organ had been shredded to nothing. All their muscle tissue had been ripped from their flesh and they had been skinned with the most _painful_ precision. Fucking magnificent! It called for Eric's beast to roar, shake its cage and cry a call for battle, for blood. The savagery was exceptional and exacerbating his bloodlust. Eric purred in pleasure and adjusted his engorged cock as he laughed at Pam's words, though he did commend her passion for wanting to kill the little shit.

"What do you see Pam?" Eric added thoughtfully in Old Norse.

It was their go to language, when they did not want others to be privy to their true intentions. It was one of the first things Eric educated her on, what it encompassed to be the Viking's Childe, use devices only a handful of creatures would be old and experienced to know of.

"That even _Dearest_ Andre isn't this skillful in only 3 seconds." She answered him back in his long dead mother's tongue, while circling the tip of her fangs.

The sight was beyond picturesque to their vampiric nature.

"Exactly and what do you remember of those 3 seconds?" Eric asked, while sending her calm through their bond since she was still very young and more prone to go into bloodlust from marvels such as this one.

"Andre being his usual ass, bloodlust, you disappearing from the bond. Twice. You spanking Andre as usual." Pam listed each event in a bored tone.

"Exactly and nothing of what happened to the ancient magic." Eric finished off in the exact same manner.

Though, the burning pain in his chest made him feel like there was a lot more that happened in those short 3 seconds.

"Fine, we need the witch." Pam deadpanned.

"Exactly! While you are setting that up, hide the bodies and clean the room. Say good bye to SSDD, Pam. Queen's _dearest_ Childe just strapped one hell of a _shit just got real_ bomb on. SJGR, fyi!" Eric smirked at her, proud of himself for getting a point in their ongoing game of using modern euphemisms and two points for any acronyms.

And they say vampires are stuck behind the times. HA fucking HA! Take that you fuckers!

"You know that little prick is unstable and can go off at any second. I say throw his ass in here and wait for the Queen to come collect him, then sit and watch her court go to zombies' wonderland."

"As enticing as that sounds, he is my only connection to finding out the mystical Supe behind all of this."

"That is assuming we didn't get cursed along with his crazy ass." Pam pointed out, not thrilled about it one bit.

The only magic that ever agreed to her fashion senses was her turning. Other than that, it always came with an inauspicious outcome to her impeccable looks.

"Only one way to find out now. I want to know beforehand about everything that little shit even thinks about doing!" He hissed frustrated.

"Eric this time it may not be avoidable…" Pam tried to approach the subject gently knowing the mood it sent her Maker in.

"I don't give a fuck about what the Pythoness says. I don't want to be a fucking King, Pam!" Eric roared.

"And what of your Maker?" she asked cool as a fucking cucumber.

"Leave him out of this, unless he makes it a Maker's command I am not budging on this."

"You know he will never do that to you."

"Exactly! You want the job? I can make it happen for you Pam." Eric crooked his eyebrow at her.

"Hell to the NO! Undead life just got interesting. I'm not about to miss on all the fun by spending my time with some stuck up mummies."

"Then don't ever bring it up again. Remember you still have one more punishment to serve. Queen Pamela does have a nice ring to it." Eric laughed boisterously as he exited the torture chamber leaving her to carry out his orders.

He walked through the warehouse paying extra attention to everything and everyone around. Who was talking to whom, their clothes, the language they used, their mannerisms, every movement and tic they made. All his senses were screaming that shit was just not right. It went way beyond Eric's usual paranoia and the Viking's safeguarded conduct was something legends were fueled with. This time he was not just concerned with his own safety or that of his Childe's. No. Now he had three innocent little Angels to worry about too. Though, he could not remember why they were so important to him he could feel in the epicenter of his core that they were the reason he existed.

All the fuckary his undead life has been so far, was to prepare him for their arrival, HIS Family, HIS living family.

The vampires that owed him fealty were positively on edge. The suspense in the air could be cut with a dull knife. Every step Eric made, he could sense the probing eyes on him. Any other being would have been freaking the fuck out right about now. However, Eric Northman walked like he owned the place and everyone in it. Because, he fucking did! There was no time to dwell on trivial things, you were either with him or against him. The lights in the whole building were dim to sooth their sensitive Supe eyesight, though Eric felt like he had never seen so clearly before. He walked into his office and was satisfied that at least one thing went right this fucked up night. All of his paperwork and personal effects from Fangtasia were neatly stacked in their appropriate places. He sat in his chair and tried to reach his Maker on the phone with no success, it went straight to voicemail. He tried to probe their bond, something he had not done in a very long time and found it very peculiar that it was tightly closed on the other end. Eric used the next ten minutes before the meeting to check his voicemail and emails, unfortunately none of his spies in Louisiana or other kingdoms had any valuable intel over the mayhem transpiring across the New world for the last three months.

When Pam entered his office Eric gave her a silent nod of acknowledgment as he rose and followed her into the conference room.

Most Sheriffs liked setting their courts in a typical fashion of raised platforms and thrones forcing their audience to stand on their feet, not this vampire. Did he have such a space? Hell yeah he did, all Area 5 Warehouses contained one. He used it explicitly when dealing with baby vamps, they needed to fully understand the long held vampire beliefs and closely guarded ancient traditions of his kind. However, Eric personally preferred the setting of his conference room. The heavy antique table stretching far with him at the head, his chair intimidatingly larger than the rest. It could not be anything else, if it were to host his massive 6'5" frame. Every vampire in the room knew what the notches on the table leg next to him represented. For every time he had to rip it off and use it as a stake. A very effective crude reminder of who was ultimately in charge. Eric the fucking Norseman that was who! Eric sustained a love/hate relationship with technology nowadays. Nonetheless, he could not deny that having everything in one state of the art central console sure beat the shit out of pigeons and smoke signals. Mostly he preferred this setting for allowing only the elders in his retinue to be seated, while the younglings had to rightfully stand back and last but not least there was something beautiful at putting your opponent at ease right before they saw you flying like a maniac over the table to send them to their true death. That one second of pure horror in their eyes was what undead life was all about and Eric the Norseman reveled in it.

"Report!" Eric ordered with full authoritative tenor as he entered the room.

He was not in a mood for any further bullshit tonight or heads were going to roll.

"We found the apartment they were staying in, nothing but four mattresses on the floor. The smell was less than a week old. They must have flown in, as I lost their tracks abruptly one mile south of the private airstrip in West Shreveport. I believe a smell suppressing spell was cast by whoever delivered them to Louisiana." Heidi, a vampire not even three decades old spoke immediately from the back of the room. She was a petite little thing that can track like no one's business, a very useful vampire gift.

"What did you find from their phones?" Eric asked, never ceasing to watch Pam's stalker Andre. Seated on his left. Like a hawk.

One move, you little worthless piece of shit!

The slightest wrong move and he would cease to existing, was Eric's current mantra as he sat there pretending to be a statue, just like any other vampire in the room. The room was deadly quiet, not a particle in the air in motion.

His kind was not burdened by trivial functions as breathing and showing any facial or any kind of body reaction to the world around them was the greatest display of weakness. Thus, vampires guarded everything single thing about themselves, their thoughts, their blood ties to one another, their age, their likes and dislikes. It was ingrained into them the moment their turning took effect to never reveal their true intention to anyone, if they were to continue existing.

"Spider traced the purchase of the four burner phones from a convenience store with no cameras 5 miles north of Fangtasia. In the last five days they received calls…" she answered again until Eric impatiently cut her off with just a flick of his wrist.

"Spider, here." A robotic sounding voice came loudly through the phone console situated in the center of the large table the second Heidi dialed the last digit to connect to him.

Everyone knew that Eric Northman despised secondhand information when he could go straight to the source. Even one that sounded like it had chain smoked his way through corporate America and blasted a picture of a fucking yellow cartoon bird across every monitor inside the conference room. For all Eric knew Spider could be a teenage girl named Molly in Iowa. All that was known for certain is that the Supernatural Council approved Spider services, which meant whoever it was had been magically bound to secrecy and most likely a Supe itself.

"Report." was all Eric said.

"The information of who the four men are. Names, ranks, date of birth, etc. was sent to your phones two hours ago. Their week-long stay in Shreveport was only captured a handful of times on CCTV and they were meticulously careful to conceal their identities, I was only able to identify them from the pictures you sent me of their faces. They received a call from other disposable phones, which were purchased over 10 years ago and thus making them more than untraceable at exactly 8am each morning that lasted exactly 15 seconds each. The calls come from all different, extremely remote locations, around the States, where a stoplight is a county luxury with again virtually no way to trace them. I am sifting through any available surveillance footage around the locations corresponding to the timeframes in search of potential suspects. Whoever is behind this is categorically someone who knows how to cover their tracks I'm afraid, as I'm coming up short in all my attempts, the four men virtually stopped existing five years ago."

"What is their connection to the FotS?"

"Only that the FotS are taking credit for the ongoing bombings."

"Inform me immediately if you find anything of interest." Eric hissed, frustrated, as he disconnected, using the phone that sat in front of him.

This was definitely not good. Not good at all. Eric did not give a shit what their names were or the fact that one was a former member of Seal Team Six, another of British SAS and the other two of Delta Force. What he wanted to know was how they were connected to the FotS agenda and who was truly behind their orders. Torturing their extended families would be just as futile, as men such as those never revealed their missions for exactly this type of reason.

Sensing that her Maker was a second away from losing his marbles and going into a full blown murderous rampage Pam hurriedly, yet never dropping the boredom in her voice, spoke up. Thank the God of all zombies he was not under the influence of the little Fairy's blood any longer or Shreveport would most definitely cease to exist. If he even stopped there. We all have our way to coping with extreme stress, in Eric's case it was mass murder. It has been centuries since he was that pissed off. Pam had no choice on staying quiet she was his second in command after all.

"What is known so far is that in the last three months there have been ongoing bombings only in the New world spreading across the continent from West to East. We are calling those responsible the Union as there are evidence of FotS, witches, vampires and a group of unidentified Supe specie aiding them. Most likelihood of otherworldly origin and now confirmed military bloodbags involvement. There is a pattern of one month cooling off period in between each attack. There is also a pattern in progression starting in California, then Nevada, Texas and now Louisiana. They are moving South and suspected to ingress to the North after Florida and New York, targeting the most vampire populated areas, centering on the most influential, oldest and strongest vampires. 7 final deaths are confirmed. All vampires 200 years old or younger and of no political standing. They were too slow to 'get the fuck away' from the bombs' blasting radius, obviously. The Union morons were either completely inept or the entire scene was a deliberate decoy to camouflage their real target/goal. In a single night they carry coordinated attacks going after monarchs, Sheriffs and anyone over a thousand years old, explicitly. There is a spy amongst us for them to possess such Intel and …."

"Yet, only the Viking was attacked in Louisiana." Accalu, an older than dirt itself vampire, spoke harshly interrupting her as she listed off.

He was an over 3,500 years old Assyrian, breathtakingly attractive and exceedingly intimidating all at once. A true Ancient according to vampire standards. The oldest one in the New world and the closest vampire to Eric outside his bloodline. When Eric was first tasked as a High Enforcer for vampire law Accalu was appointed as his trainer. An unbreakable bond had been formed between them ever since. When Accalu was later tasked as a Great Enforcer for all Supernatural law by the High Council he accepted the job under one condition. To personally appoint the next vampire they were in need of. That was how Eric joined him a few centuries later as being not only the Old Bat's little puppet, but the High Council fucktoy as well. He was still on the fence for having to serve the last century of his unavoidable contract, or as Eric liked to call it his unjust and fuckedup punishment. In not only dealing with vampires' utmost idiots, but a whole slew of cracked up Supes. Was it educational? You could bet your pesky ass and sharp fangs it was. He could now kill Supe species that most vampires had never heard of faster than green grass through a goose, as the local scholars so poetically put it. Was it a colossal pain in Eric's proud ass to deal with lunatics capable of far worse than draining you or silver poisoning you? Damn fuckin' straight it was. Some of those fuckers were no joke with their abilities to cloak and throw unhealthy sunny/fire balls at you. Eric suspected his Maker had something to do with Accalu not only being his mentor, since the Ancient vampire was not only over humanity, but all Supes at that point, but the Ancient's relocation to his area. Though, none of them would ever fess up to it. Vampires as old as Accalu preferred their solitude and the majority of them despised the bullshit of politics and for that they seldom ventured outside the Old world of Europe. Where, the political fuckary was kept to a minimum by ancient values of brutal and swift justice.

"The Queen and the other Sheriffs saw this coming and astutely protected themselves by leaving their areas for the needed duration." Andre hissed outraged.

"Well, how convenient for Her Majesty to take a much needed vacation now." Accalu responded to him dryly.

"I see seven vampires of age older than a thousand years at this table, you being one of them that also weren't attacked tonight. Do you have something to say for yourself Accalu?" Andre roared back at him, dropping his fangs loudly.

The flea ridden rodents inside little dumbass Andre's head were obviously on the fritz or had abandoned that sinking ship all together, if he seriously thought he will keep said head in the next second.

"Watch your words and tone, youngling, when addressing your betters or I will gladly educate you on your errors." _with your final death_ was implied in Accalu's unfazed tenor.

One word, tic or anything short from dropping on his knees and presenting his skinny pubescent neck in an utter show of submission and the Queen's _Dearest_ Childe was going to find out why the Ancient vampire never got a nickname, as his birth giving name of 'The Devourer' was more than befitting. Accalu fuse on assholio was also shorter than Thalia's, if one could believe it. He had a hereditary immunization against it.

If Accalu went after Andre, Eric's old friend was doomed to be the next King of Louisiana. Since, _her_ Majesty was too immaturely egocentric to rightfully acknowledge Accula's fair reprisal to seniors disrespect and then _shit was most definitely going to get real._ Accalu was the type of vampire, who would joyfully cut his own dick off before he permitted any fellow royals to suck up to him all the while they were planning how to take him out.

Ah, the beauty of vampire double-crossing! Pardon, politics.

"ENOUGH!" Eric boomed irritated. No way was he going to allow his old friend to lower himself as a King of all things or catch whatever _curse/_flu Andre was infected with. "There is a spy among us or they would have attacked the Queen's court and I want to know who it is. That is an order!" and if anyone was going to kill the little dipshit Eric had the dibs on that shit the night they first met.

"Do we know what their true intentions are?" another Ancient vampire from Eric's days as a High Enforcer asked.

"The Supe grapevine hasn't produced any viable suspects so far." a third former High Enforcer answered him.

All meetings in Area 5, such as this one, were lead and spoken only by the elders unless a youngling was directly addressed or had some invaluable information to add to the table. Without breaking down the nitty-gritty stats of vampire world populace it was easy even for a day old baby vamp to ascertain that Eric's Area was occupied by the majority of the oldest, strongest and fearsome of their kind in the world. The average age of his retinue was of no less than 500 years old and comprised of vampires who he previously had dealings with prior to accepting the position of a Sheriff and amounted to a total of 78. Which was an extraordinary large number, especially for a rural area as Northern Louisiana. Making a lot of monarchs including Queen's _Dearest_ and other Wanna Bes extra tense and put him on many a shit list, just on principal. There were 23 of those who did not meet the criteria, but compensated by possessing some extraordinary vampire gifts and then there were the 7 of them who surpassed it by millennium and then some, 4 of which were vampires he had served as a High Enforcer with. If said 4 ever decided to write their memoirs, let just say _shit couldn't get more real than that_. One also had to keep in mind that there were only 12 vampires currently in the New world, who were of age greater than that of the Viking. Making him and his territory that much more fearsome for having the majority of legendary Ancients in one Area and ultimately under his personal command. Last were the 9 odd balls that did not fit in any of the above categories, because they were either serving a punishment or were forced upon Eric under a decree of some sort to reside within his area. Who was serving a punishment was questionable there. Those were also the ones that could not take a step in any given direction without someone tattling all about it back to Eric.

The simple reasoning behind his impressive loyal retinue and the elevated interested in some of his kind to prove themselves worthy of joining it was that Eric was a rare vampire of honor ie. you do what you were told without fucking it up and he was not going to make you fetch him a fresh bag of blood just for shit and giggles as most in his position liked to do. Well, with the exception of the one night monthly mandatory appearance as Fangtasia circus, as a vampire monkey. But, that was honorably and more than generously supplemented, as a deduction to their fealty tax and a good reminder that the Norseman was their boss. No exceptions. However, fail him and the consequences were fatal. Which was also why some avoided it like the black plague and baby vamps were warned to stay clear of his area for their first couple of centuries. His honorable word did not only pertain to vampires business, it was Eric's attitude when dealing with all Supe species. Thus making Area 5 also the highest populated area for all types of Supes. The fact that Dr. Ludwig had her home base in Shreveport should say enough and she loathed the egocentric Viking with a passion.

The room remained quiet for a couple of more seconds until Accalu spoke up again.

"There have been a great number of vampires relocating across the continent in the last past 3 months. Area 5 has the strictest of policy for approving a permanent resident in the New world. As so, there haven't been any new faces lurking around. However, some of the surrounding Sheriffs have been tempted by bribes. Area 1 has the highest number of new vampire residents, all exceedingly rich." His voice was a picture of tranquil as he calmly stared down Andre the Pipsqueak.

Accalu was also a rarity for a vampire, much like his protégé Eric. He was too old to be bothered with bullshit and nonsense at his age. He preferred to calmly and bluntly state exactly what he thought or planned of doing directly in someone's face. Much like Eric, if he said he was going to send you to your true death he intended to do it then and there. There was no avoiding it, nowhere one could run or hide in all the realms. He had no time or patience for the niceties of any politics and if he ever felt like lowering himself to play Supe intrigues, well you would never see him coming. Though, he much favored serenity these days he would not think twice for being _deathly_ serious to make his point.

"I assure you Accalu _Our_ Queen of the State of Louisiana, Sheriff of Area 1, my Maker, _to whom you have sworn fealty_, has screened all the new residents appropriately to ensure all of our safety." Andre could not help without responding, hissing his words and emphasizing his and his mommy's superiority.

"How many new vampires have been registered in the state?" Eric asked next, if Accalu was going after Andre there was jack shit anyone could do to stop him.

"21." Andre replied tersely.

"Who was the handicap idiot in Warehouse 1?" Thalia asked.

"Thomas Beasley, 53 years old, with a letter of recommendation from the Queen of California - San Jose. I was in the process of redirecting him to other areas he can seek residence, when all hell broke loose." Eric answered.

"When did you discover the bomb devices, Northman?" Pam's Supe Stalker hissed at him with his fangs prominently on display.

And there it was, the real reason why the little fuck was sitting at this table, for which he was more than unworthy of. Well, besides staring at Pam like she was to be his personal fuck toy.

"I smelled very faint stench of magic when I first arrived in Fangtasia tonight, Andre." Eric informed him.

"Yet, only the Viking has been able to detect the bombs in advance in all three months." Andre smirked staring directly at Accalu.

"I have a lot more experience with magic than most. A full century as a Great Enforcer, to be exact, to fine tune my skills." Eric raised his eyebrow at the full room.

"How did they get them inside your Area 5 place of business, Sheriff?"

"That is still unknown as there is 5 minutes of CCTV video missing at precisely 10:45 am. Close enough to pose as someone who can have a reason to be there if they got caught as the staff and delivery men don't come in until 11 am. They we able to hack into the surveillance cameras and replace the feed with a loop footage, nonetheless the nanosecond of flicker in the video was a dead giveaway."

"What do you know of the magic on the devices?"

"Only that I've never encounter such a powerful cloaking spell."

"So how were you able to find them then, Northman?" Andre barked out, unable to hold back his irritation over Eric's nonchalant bearing.

"I followed the smell of magic accompanied by the foreign stench of the males I'd never encountered in the bar before." Eric answered him, unfazed as ever.

He had to or one of the many vampires presently surrounding him would have sensed that something was amiss with his answer and those night loving fuckers had nothing better to do with their endless time, but gossip. Plot someone's true death or stick their pesky noses into shit that did not concern them, just for something to do to conquer their boredom. They did not need the details that while he was doing just that, right before Fangtasia opened its door for business tonight and failing miserably at it, since the cloaking was successfully bouncing off the magic odor all over the damn place. Getting Eric so pissed off he was ready to bomb the whole place to hell himself. That was until he received a little outside aid in discovering the devices. He received more than just that, it was an unexpected and ominous phone call from none other than the Ancient Pythoness, herself, to warn him that _they_ were coming. Whoever the fuck that was and if by any chance it was in regards to HIS family unexpected arrival Eric was not going to say shit about shit to anyone. Right before she gave him another fucked up riddle of where to find the four bombs as an afterthought before she hung up on him. The Old Bat could never manage to say a fucking simple hello without making you scratch your whole body in utter loss. You might find it funny, however Eric was anything but laughing trying to decode that to "honor the spellbinding tide unseen in the tetralogy of our life giver" was to literally having to flush the fucking fourth toilet inside the fucking female bathroom in four fucking quick successions in order for the device to reveal itself to the world. They got even more fucking ominous after that. He was ready to blow up the place with the crazy old bitch inside of it by the time he had all four bombs in his hands.

"Why was not _Our_ Queen informed immediately of this discovery?" Andre roared in outrage.

"Because there are too many unknown players aiding this Union and the night needed to proceed as they expected in order to force their hands into revealing who they are, youngling." Accalu answered him instead with a tenor screaming an ear piercing _DUHHHH, Stupid!_

"You knew of this?" Andre demanded glaring at the Ancient sitting at the other end seat of the massive antique table.

"No. It is the logical move, would you say youngling?" Accalu answered serine as a Hindu monk.

He was not going to give the little shit the satisfaction of true death only to get stuck as the head of the state, there was nothing this Ancient was more over than politics nowadays.

"Yet, nothing was accomplished by the Sheriff's failing his duty to report to Our Queen!" Andre hissed back.

"To the contrary, we now have proof that the human Authorities are also involved." Thalia answered irritated instead.

Andre only smirked in a sadistic satisfaction remembering the lovely three corpses he left in his reckoning. Whilst licking his lips lustfully at, more than just disgusted by it, Pam.

"If you were successful in locating all the devices why was the club still under attack?" Andre continue never dropping the smirk off his fugly face.

If vampires rose after turning carrying their former human imperfections Eric was willing to bet his whole fortune the little adolescent would have been sporting one of the worst pimple ridden faces in history.

"They coordinated having a second van, rigged with the fifth bomb, to crash into the building as a preliminary cause for the bar blowing to shit. The driver was never found most likely it was operated remotely." Pam answered him, bored as fuck for having to deal with her Supe Stalker tonight.

Just as undead life was starting to get interesting and Andre had to bring mundane back.

"What of the young child seen screaming in warning before that?" William T. Compton, the Queen's appointed Investigator of the state of Louisiana asked abruptly from the back of the room.

A rancid douchebag that could not find his own ass with a marked map and a spot light, making everyone question how he got the position to begin with.

Hearing the mention of HIS son, HIS family and the uber curiosity in the worthless vampire voice had Eric's beast roaring in demand for his confederate's blood to be spilled that instant.

Eric was a nanosecond away from flipping his shit, when Pam calmly intercepted.

"The delicious snack pack on scene is no more. A girl just can't help herself sometimes in the midst of excitement."

She was not lying _per se_, she needed to shut the little snotter up quickly or the blaring mini-hominid was going to ruin her Master's plan of catching the bombers and the family of three screeching bloodbags did smell delicious after all.

Ah, fairies. Yummy!

The implication of Pam words and the satisfaction in her voice, not to mention the hunger inundating their bond, had Eric's beast ready to bend her over the table and remind her once more how off limits the three fae were to anybody, but him. Eric was barely keeping it together.

NO ONE was taking HIS family from him.

"Die assured at first sunrise, Billy boy, that my greedy Childe had been dealt her due punishment for not following our laws in regards to shunning youngling's blood. Said behavior is not tolerated by anyone in my Area!" Eric spoke with nothing but firmness in his manner, putting the matter to rest finally and wanting to take this meeting as far away from HIS family as quickly as possible.

"What is this teacup you speak of Compton?" Andre asked Bill, the mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost, now more intrigued than ever.

FUCK. SHIT. FUCK. DOUBLE SHIT. FUCCCCKKKKKK.

By the almighty Odin, Eric may have to just seize the throne tonight. Even, if that was the last thing he wanted or needed right now or ever!

"He was heard of having prior knowledge of the bombings a minute before it all happened." Bill quickly fired back, the worthless excuse for supernatural anything, seemed to have found the most detrimental night to finally rise up to the challenge of the position he was appointed to.

"And how did this miniature bloodbag know of this information?" Andre demanded. Excitement written all over his sparkling eyes for something other than Pam.

"As I had told you my greedy Childe was overly excited, due to bloodlust, preventing me from finding any Intel on the matter." Eric answered concisely.

Just one more mention of HIS Angels, just one more word of HIS family and Eric was going to lose his shit all together tonight.

"And what of the other female child that was also seen present?" Bill challenged, there was something is his voice that said he needed the information for far more than just for the sake of being the appointed Vampire Investigator of the state of Louisiana.

Ah, Shit just hit the fan!

Accalu thought, he had sensed Eric's instant fury the moment the insignificant vampire first brought up the subject. Only because he knew Eric intimately and was aware of most of the Viking's telltale signs. Now, it all read as Eric was in a full berserker's mode and no one on this world could restrain his protégé.

Short of a Maker's command.

….

**Mmm, guys you were kind of quiet after the last chapter. I assure you any feedback is appreciated. **

**Happy Holidays y'all :)**


	7. Eat Shit, Billy Boy!

**I hope you guys enjoy this extremely belated AU train ride, cuz for some unknown reason its route was a *total a pain in my ass* to map out :( There are currently like four versions of it. Yeah, I know I'm a lil bitty insane what can I tell y'all. Welcome to my Crazy of obsessiveness and self-doubt. Thankfully my awesome beta is there to tell me to get the eff outta my own head and get a move on. Thank you jules3677 and treewitch7031!**

**Now let us get this train moving. Hold on tight it's going to be a jerky one.**

**Full speed ahead y'all ! :)**

….

Oh, Eric Northman was most definitely in full berserker mode, actually scratch that, he had now obtained permanent residency in Apeshit Nutsville, Zip code CRAZY. His new phone number was 1-800-EAT-SHIT ext. _Billy Boy_ and his ID picture was a high resolution snapshot of Eric shoving the asshole's flaccid excuse for a dick down his haughty throat.

Bill Compton's eyes conversely were bristling with challenge in response. His physical demeanor radiated far greater authority than it ought to for the State Vampire Investigator of the Queendom of Louisiana. His tone was one of someone addressing a lowly underling caught in treason, his expression supercilious. He strode to the front of the room to confront the arrogant Viking. Why everyone was so eager to bend over figuratively and literally for the egomaniac was beyond Bill, the self-proclaimed computer expert, whose data encoding was clearly still being processed on a punch card. For Bill the entire Supe community was either too cowardly or too blinded by superficial aesthetics to acknowledge the enormous threat Northman and his just as unruly rogue horde of Ancients imposed. A smirk spread across Bill's fugly face, not because he thought he could take them on, but because he had worked hard to put himself in a position that could grant him the power to do so. He had big plans for the children and the annihilation of the almighty Sheriff in the process was just a delightful bonus he would gleefully sanction. Add his snobbish Childe to the mix by publicly confessing to her infraction of draining a youngling and it was a great night to be a State appointed figure. Indeed!

The prosperity of Billy's unexceptional existence was heavily intertwined with the destiny he had mapped out for the miniature bloodbags and himself by association. It would be unfortunate, if the boy had perished as they claim, but then again it was the perfect opportunity to attest to the Queen of Northman's ineptitude as a law enforcer plus Bill can make do with only one of the children just as well. If all went according to plan he would rule the entire Supe Community in due time.

Eric was not aware of Billy's precise intent, however the weasel was already marked for execution the instant he opened his mouth and if Eric was ever to discover Billy's true objective, let just say the obliteration of the bombastic cretin's entire bloodline would not be enough to pay for his grievous sins.

"As you know I abhor the idiocy of the 2 for 1 bargain, but as my Master previously informed you Compton, tonight wasn't my finest hour. Accidents tend to happen when sharp fangs are involved. The offensive rags you deemed clothes are prime example." Pam answered immediately with an impressive mixture of ghastly boredom and revulsion in her effort to quickly put the issue to rest before Eric lost his shit and did something impulsive like rip the moron's head clean off with his bare hands in front of a room full of witnesses.

"It's State Inspe …" Bill hissed in indignation, but Pam hurriedly disregarded him and his impertinent outfit. She had way bigger problems at this point and virtually no time to rectify the situation.

Eric had obviously fled the cuckoos' nest of rationality, because even though both kids were alive, albeit not kicking yet, that did not stop him from roaring internally in outrage over the implication of her words. She wasted no time in averting her eyes to the ground as she bared her neck in display of unconditional submission.

"If it pleases this court and my Master I would take any additional punishment for my poor lack of control." She spoke hastily in humble voice interjecting before the pompous idiot. If ripping her ass a new one for Eric to subdue his irrational fear, so be it. Maybe that would get her out of the whole Walmart calamity, one could only hope.

Cranky Eric was an unbearable pain in the ass to begin with, but apparently cantankerous Daddy Northman was a force not even facetiously to be reckoned with. All of this over some troublesome Fairies? The one Supe species that Eric despised with a zeal for their _never ending fuckary_, as he was so found of putting it. Pam just did not get it, but if her Master fancied a coitus with a wild grizzly bear just for shits and giggles by golly she will wrestle the damn rancid pelt herself into compliance. There was nothing she would not do for her Maker. Her devotion simply ran that deep, including taking the blame in front of the entire population of Area 5 for something she definitely did not do.

"A thousand silver lashings will do nicely for her offence, Sheriff." Andre spoke instantly. He just could not help dropping his fangs and purring in satisfaction. He had waited far too long to see her grovel on all fours, before an audience no less. "I hold the highest title here, so I will be executing the order." He proclaimed domineeringly, while stroking his raging hardon.

The thought of mangling that porcelain perfect skin of hers was doing all kinds of things to Andre's psychotic personality.

There was no stopping it.

Eric lost it entirely.

Bill looked like he was on the verge of saying something, but after seeing the lethal blaze in Eric's eyes he froze immediately.

"You ever so much as touch what is MINE and that pubescent phallus you are so fond of jacking will not be the only thing you will lose permanently." Eric roared with such venom the whole building shook. His right hand moved faster than the majority of vampires could follow as it tightened like a vice around the Queen's _dearest_ Childe embryonic testicles. "MY Childe has already been dealt her due punishment to _MY satisfaction._ Pam's next month will be undead hell, which is far beyond what Area 5 laws mandate for such a crime. " He hissed through clenched fangs inches away from Andre's contorted face in unbearable pain as Eric kept squeezing tighter and tighter.

Fuck a Zombie and that swampy shithole Arkansas for their Walmart fuckary! Pam just kept praying her precious babies, that Eric was so keen on holding hostage, survive his foul mood for the next month and return home safely to their mother!

"That goes for all of you. Touch what is MINE and NO mercy would be shown to you or yours. Am I understood?" Eric thundered.

A vibration from the collective nods of the attending vampires rang throughout the conference room.

All five of the Queen's representative were surrounded by Ancients and their sharp swords pressed against their necks before Eric even descended into his mini tirade.

It was well known in the Supernatural community that Eric Northman answered with an unconscionable savagery, even for vampire standards, to so much as a mere hint of threat to his progeny and self. More so where his Childe was concerned. When he first turned Pam he almost lost her to an idiot who saw her as his ticket to get vengeance on the Viking. The level of barbarity with which Eric reacted at the time was a clear warning to the entire Supe world that the Northman's Childe was sacrosanct. Period. No one ever attempted again and to ensure it stays that way Eric took the position of Sheriff. This gave him enough status and power, without the headache of running a kingdom, and surrounded Pam with the strongest warriors he knew. It was not just him who had an atypically close relationship with Pam either, all the Ancients perceived her as their own baby vamp ever since she rose. That was also the reason why she took her vacations as far away as possible from the new world and her ample folks. Well, all Ancients with the exception of Thalia, but the feeling was all mutual. Who in their right mind accessorizes with a sword twice their size? Like Seriously? No one that Pam was willing to publicly acknowledge any kind of association with, that's for damn sure.

"You will pay for this Northman!" Andre roared painfully from his fetal position on the floor.

"Put it on my tab. Pam get the _Queen's Second in Command_ some cold blood, again." Eric smirked from above.

She was gone and back in under a second. No way Jose, was she missing this genius performance of 'A modest little person, with much to be modest about'.

"The Queen will never let you get away with this, Northman!" Pam's Supe Stalker kept hissing between large gulps of virtually frozen blood.

Eric only raised his signature eyebrow in challenge. _Just try me asshole!_

That shut the Andre right up. For the last 75 years Eric held a big black cloud over him and never let him forget it for a second. During a real estate negotiation with representatives from the Daemon realm psychopathic little Andre lost his cool as per usual and killed them in a fit of rage. It was his second unprovoked offence in less than a century and the Supernatural Council was going to have his head for it more than likely, if the Queen did not beat them to it. Eric, the true opportunist that he was, covered for the impulsive idiot. Of course the Council did not buy any of the shit he was selling them, but they also would not miss on a prospect of punishing the Viking into a contract of two jobs he was due to execute as a Great Enforcer on their behalf for each Daemon he claimed he slew. Not to mention the small fortune Eric was ordered to pay the Prince of Daemons and Andre was left with no choice, but stare at him with nothing but pure hatred.

In the Supe world there was no such thing as a favor. There was only being in debt and Eric was a master in amassing a fortune of them.

Eric just kept repeating to himself the two reasons the jackass twins Andre and Bill were still undead to calm himself. Not to mention the shitload of paperwork that would follow.

One: He needed to find out why Billy Boy was so fixated on HIS little ones and TWO: he really didn't want to be a fucking King of all things.

Naturally seeing the little shit screaming his head off in insufferable agony on the floor soothed Eric's tightly wound nerves. The satisfaction of turning Andre's miniature privates into a bowl of bloody gruel did wonders to brighten his mood. Vampires are not a sympathetic bunch by any means, nonetheless all males in attendance were unconsciously guarding their own soldiers at the sight of Andre writhing in front of them. No one was going to lend him a helping hand, Queen's _dearest_ Childe or not. If anything they were enjoying the show on principle. With only a glance from their Chief, all Ancients were back in their seats, like they were not just a second ago ready to rage war like total lunatics. All Eric wanted at this point was to get the meeting over with so he could return to HIS family. A feeling so foreign he had no point of reference for, was starting to rise within him and he did not like it one bit. He had mastered suppressing his emotions so profoundly that he was incapable of recognizing that what he was experiencing, was, that, he was simply missing them.

All it did was make him irritated and he was more than ready to wrap up this little shindig.

"What is the plan of action?" an Ancient Spartan warrior and former High Enforcer asked next. Leave it to Tyndareos to only care about the upcoming skirmish with the Union.

Before Eric could answer him, the bond with his Maker busted wide open and a massive wave of calm and an urgency for caution flooded his body. His phone simultaneously vibrated signaling the arrival of a new text message, which he was not done reading yet when Billy's annoying southern drawl viciously minced through his core like a silver stake.

The fucking cocksucker just didn't know when to shut the fuck up.

"There are still events surrounding the bombings that need to be accounted for, Sheriff. Where are the supposed bodies of the two children you claim dead?" Bill asked in an officious tone with his hands clasped behind his back.

'DO NOT end him Viking…..' read the clear as day decree from none other than the Ancient Pythoness. It continued to say some other shit that Eric had no interest in. Just as he no longer cared to discover why the asshole's sole focus was on HIS little ones and he showed no interest in their breathtaking mother.

The beast inside him had broken through its cage like it was some kind of a bad joke and was now crying a call for battle, for carnage and savagery the world had never experienced before.

All bets were off as far as Eric was concerned! He saw, heard or tasted nothing, but a burning red bloodlust.

Was Eric in his right mind to consider the consequences of having a room full of witnesses seeing him rip the head of a State appointed figure, just because the dimwit rubbed him the wrong way?

That would a big HELL NO.

Was he rational to contemplate the dreadful punishment The Supernatural Council inflicted for behavior such as that and not to mention the field day they would have over him not acquiescing to a formal decree?

That would be a big fat FUCK NO! Not when HIS Angels safety was concern.

Fuck them and their pain in the ass bureaucracy of three signed copies.

Let them fucking come!

He had a long overdue score to settle with those conceited fuckers anyway.

What got Eric's blood literally boiling was the fact that the Old Bat had dragged his Maker into doing her bidding. As he was halted motionless under a Maker's Command before William T. _soon to be truly dead one way or another_ Compton was even done getting his first word out. The piece of shit was singing his words in some kind of self-deluded triumph.

First off, how fucking convenient of the meddling bitch to finally drop that enigmatic twaddle and get right to the point and even more enraging was the question of since when did her murky eyesight clear enough for her to be fucking text messaging? The fact that she could have been doing that all along and spare him listening to her croaky nonsense all those times just brought Eric to an unprecedented level of fury. Most importantly, since when did his Maker and the Old Bat become such bosom buddies? The mutual love those two exhibited for each other was why the Supernatural Council opted of having separate sessions for the new and old world after all.

A second Maker's Command shredded through his core like silver poisoning in less than a second forcing him to read the text message in its entirety. The pain one experienced under such command was excruciating, to put it mildly. There was nothing gradual about it either, it tore through you and took over your mind and flesh before you knew what had transpired. Leaving you only with the sensation of its sought after directive. Your blood literally became a solitary extension of your Maker's needs and desires. Had he been any ordinary vampire and not one with a very unfortunate dark history that trained him to build up an uncanny resistance to torture Eric would have been convulsing in pain on the floor right now.

If Eric was pissed off up to this point he was now fucking livid with anyone and everyone interfering regarding to HIS living family. Bloodlust was radiating off Eric at a level even Accalu was unacquainted with, in all honesty the Ancient vampire was not convinced that even the Viking's own Childe would be spared.

'DO NOT end him Viking for he abets thy sprawling darks!' read the rest of the Ancient Pythoness message.

All that Eric had learned tonight came rushing on to the surface.

_They are coming. The paths are to cross once more, strive for abeyance shadows. Now that you have claimed them, they are no longer hidden to those, who seek to destroy them. A very powerful Magic, one Eric never encountered before was unleashing like a plague into the Earth realm._

Eric instantly changed tactics. There were too many players on the proverbial chess board and too much at stake for him to lose focus on the end game or worse show his one and only weakness; his devotion to HIS family. Something Eric was still trying to wrap his head around. Was this overwhelming need to claim them as HIS going to cause his downfall? Were the Fairies behind all of this and was HIS family just a trap to lure him in? Could he even walk away from them? The thought of continuing without them scorched his undead heart. The moment her first lay eyes on them Eric was more than enthralled by them, he felt a Pull towards them more powerful than any he had heard of. He plainly sensed the purpose of his entire existence being spellbound to theirs and if waging a war with the entire Supe world was how he was going to keep them, then, so be it. He was never letting them go, they were HIS and only HIS for eternity.

One thing was certain Compton was not only privy to their existence, he was the key to defeating whoever was after them and maybe even the Union itself.

Feeling the change in his Childe's attitude his Maker quickly released his hold on Eric, but continued to closely monitor their bond. At least that nuisance was over, Eric thought. The pain of his Maker's Commands were really starting to annoy the hell out of him.

And phone number two for the night was also reduced to million pieces.

Pam could not help, but give Eric a dirty look over his childish behavior. He smirked at her, feeling utterly vindictive in finally succeeding in his desire to obliterate something, anything.

"Where are their bodies, Sheriff?" Bill hissed through his fangs, frustrated over being so blatantly ignored.

Eric raised his signature right eyebrow. Did he look like someone who would leave evidence laying around for all to find?

"Their bodies are in a bayou filled with alligators that I would gladly take you to, but there's no guarantee you will be leaving in one piece. You are testing my patience with frivolous matters, Billy Boy! Such behavior is not conducive to one's continued existence in _my_ Court." Eric spoke harshly. "More importantly, my sources are not producing any valuable suspects on the Union front." he snarled angrily as he tossed the shattered phone components on the table in front of him.

The surrounding vampires visibly relaxed discovering the cause behind his sudden ire, though none of them was stupid enough to think that they would ever be in the clear in the presence of the Viking or his little band of lethal Ancients.

"As the Queen's personally appointed State Investigator I am bound to examine all events taking place in Louisiana and an attack on the queendom calls for the utmost specifics." Bill spoke directly to Andre this time, as if that would get him what he wanted.

Nice try asswipe, but do not even try again. This was not the place and certainly not the company to have this heartfelt tête-à-tête regarding HIS precious Angels. The proper locale for that little party was in Eric's personal dungeon and in the delightful companionship of countless torture devices.

"Do you have any evidence to their involvement with the bombings?" Pam's Supe Stalker asked briskly. He was still struggling with the burning pain between his legs and was also getting irritated over Compton throwing his mommy's name like they shared a nightly pussy buffet or some shit.

"As I was saying I am establishing, if …"

By the all mighty Odin, the fucker was getting on Eric's last nerves.

"It is a yes or no question, Compton?" Accalu interjected impatiently. If Eric had not killed the moron yet there was only one reason. He knew or had something that his protégé was after, as Accalu himself was ready to send his pompous ass to his final death.

"No. However as I …" Billy addressed Andre in a placid tone, ignoring everyone else like their existence did not matter to someone of his stature.

"Then you are wasting this Court's time, underling!" Tyndareos roared in exasperation, hitting the wood table so hard with his large first that it made a loud cracking noise in protest.

The self-absorbed State Investigator never broke character. The dimwit was under the misguided assumption that he was untouchable as such. Billy opened his mouth to address Tyndareos outburst.

_This oughta be fucking precious, with full out load-blowing potential for the intellectual spank-bank._

Eric grinned in anticipation at the verbal diarrhea to follow.

Alas, that was far as Billy Boy got. He did not even have time to introduce himself after placing his collect call to the 1-800-EAT-SHIT number.

Alas, indeed.

The 2,600 years old Spartan, a freaking mountain of a male specimen, has had it with disrespectful little dullards the moment Andre first open his filthy mouth tonight. Like hell was he going to sit and stomach some even bigger halfwit and his ugly sideburns waste his time any longer. This warrior was interested in one thing only and that was the upcoming battle with the Union. It has been centuries since the Supe world has had a good rumble and no one in their right mind would miss such an opportunity. By the looks of all the Ancients occupying the conference table they more than concurred. The pompous underling was now fair game for first come, first served. Amendments scarcely took place in the archaic canons of the Supernatural world and one decree trumped them all.

You leave your fucking attitude two doors down the hall when addressing your elders, regardless of what title you may hold.

Tyndareos was in front of Beehl that instant. Wrenching his bottom jaw in unnatural configuration as he ripped the annoying vampire's tongue out and tossed it unceremoniously over his shoulder like a piece of filthy garbage. The spurting blood and Billy's ear-piercing screams of horrid agony had all the vampires spontaneously dropping their fangs.

Fucking Spectacular were the words Eric would use to describe the scene in the future, he wanted to close his eyes and relive Billy Boy's agonizing screams as his useless yapper was forcibly removed.

"Enough! You will learn the proper protocol for addressing Court and your betters, youngling." Tyndareos boomed, a wide open circle was instantly cleared around them. "You may speak only when spoken to and only if you have relevant information to deliver. Is that understood?"

Just another night at the office for vampires, heavyweight gouts of blood were now gushing in all directions from Bill's mouth. He made no attempt to answer the Ancient and only screamed louder like the little bitch he was. The young buffoon went on the attack on pure instincts. Big fucking mistake, as that only resulted in him effectively being brought down on his knees with a harsh kick and an iron grip around his scrawny neck. A loud cracking noise filled the room, no doubt Campton's knee caps were shattered to nothing on contact with the cement floor.

"Silence!" Tyndareos roared displaying his own razor sharp fangs, more incensed than ever. "Or I will silence you permanently!"

Seeing as he had no choice on the matter Billy Boy stopped resisting and fell quiet, albeit more than begrudgingly. He would bide his time for now, but this was far from over. Those kids were his golden ticket to rule the Supe world. He did however have the good sense to avert his eyes to the ground and present his bare neck in a show of submission. For now.

That put a satisfying smirk on Eric's face. Wrong crowd to pester Billy Boy!

"Next time there will be no warning, young one. Am I clear?" Tyndareos hissed as Bill reluctantly nodded.

"This goes for all of you. Any form of disrespect or trivial interruptions of this Court will not be tolerated." Eric added authoritatively looking directly at Bill's broken body.

Even arrogant little Andre made himself look invisible, it was one thing to bait a vampire and a whole different ball game to egg on an already enraged Ancient like Tyndareos. Dunce Billy, however never got the memo as he attempted to get up and was subsequently kicked so brutally that his whole chest caved in as he was propelled into the adjacent wall. This time the sound of broken bones was pleasingly accompanied with a loud bang from the cement wall cracking.

"You have not been given permission to rise, young one. You are to kneel until such time passes." Tyndareos harshly instructed.

Belatedly getting the point half-baked Billy dropped down on his knees and remained still as a statue for the duration of the meeting, he did not even dare to show the slightest hint of discomfort.

Not a second after Billy lost his ability to spew shit his cell phone started ringing like the word was on fire inside the breast pocket of his striped long-sleeved Polo shirt. Whose fashion statement, by the way, failed absofuckinglutly in its efforts to complement his just as boring pleated slacks. The ensemble only succeeded in offended Pam's eyesight in its entirety. The whole nerd getup was just straight up begging for a major beat down. Annoyed at Bill's continuously ringing phone Tyndareos quickly answered it and from what he knew of the useless vampire at his feet his lunatic mommy was checking on her brainless handiwork.

"What's happening My William?" came through the panic sticking voice of his Maker Lorena Ball.

"Your disrespectful Childe was in need of a lesson in traditional standings." Tyndareos answered her barely containing the urge to roll his eyes at the absurdity that those two have not met their true death by now.

"And who the fuck are you to tutor MY CHILDE on what's appropriate?" she mocked threateningly.

"The name is Tyndareos and both of your elder, thus _your better_." He answered not one bit intimidated as he hung up on her by crushing the phone and effectively putting the matter to rest.

If the imprudent bitch had a problem with it she can come find him. In fact he encouraged it. The cunt sounded like she too needed a major readjustment in attitude.

The mouth on youth this day was downright deplorable, just begging to be put out of their collective stupidity!

"What did you learn from the prisoners?" Tyndareos asked next vamping back to his seat.

"Paid soldiers with no direct knowledge of the Union." Eric answered not one bit happy over that or the fact that the little lunatic Andre just had to go all batshit crazy on them before Eric could find, if they knew anything of value.

As much as it pained Eric, he pretended to ignore the two imbeciles in the room as the next half an hour he assigned each of his underlings with tasks of tracking all the FotS, witches, spies and potential government officials affiliated with the Union in his Area. They were ordered to reach out to all their contacts in all the realms to identify the mystical Supe behind the bombings. Failure was not an option. Every decision, every command was driven by his overwhelming need to protect HIS family. With the meeting at its end Eric dismissed everyone, but for his most trusted vampires and as much as he was questioning HIS family's involvement into all current events he could hardly wait to bask in their warmth once again. Everybody, but the Queen's representative seemed to hear him as Andre made no attempt to clear the premises.

"Are you waiting for a formal announcement of some kind Andre? Or are you in need of more blood for the road" Eric smirked.

"On the contrary Sheriff, I am here to issue you a formal edict." Andre boastfully announced.

"Then let us hear it already." And then get the fuck out of my face was clearly indicated in Eric's tenor.

"Your presence is required at the Queen's palace tomorrow. You are to answer for all of your infractions from tonight, Sheriff." Andre screechy pubescent voice cut straight through Eric like a silver machete before he and his useless bodyguards filed past the brutalized Billy Boy and vamped out of the room like bats out of hell, but not before Andre blew a revolting kiss to HIS Childe.

With that Pam was ready to burn her clothes and skin herself in hopes to forget he ever existed.

"The offer to end your nuisance is always there, Pam." Accalu spoke immediately, not even bothering to wait for them to be out of vampiric ear shot.

"I'll never forgive you, if you deprive me of that honor." That was the only date she would ever agree to with Andre.

"Eric what happened in the dungeon?" Accalu asked curiously.

"Why do ask?" Eric responded in the same manner.

Though he had no memory of his rapid visiting with HIS family in the Total Eclipse while in the dungeon, he felt the need to approach the subject with cautions.

"There was a very strong smell of powerful magic coming from there, yet Andre walked out with no trace of it on him." Accalu stated with no readable mien.

"What do you remember of your time, while Pam and I were there?" Eric asked next, just as indifferent.

"Nothing worth noticing." Accalu spoke thoughtfully. The rest of the vampires followed by nodding in agreement.

"But you can sense it on us?" Pam asked in a very irritated tenor.

"You reek of it." Tyndareos hissed in discuss.

"Fuck a goddamn zombie!" Pam growled furiously. Not that she could not smell it for herself, she just refused to accept it.

"No worries Pammy, nothing that Chanel No. 5 you're so fond dousing yourself with can't take care of. I keep telling you it's a dead giveaway to a hunter." Accalu castigated, shaking his head.

"Fuck off geezer, I'm not the one who thinks dying for the day in the ground is still trendy. #solastmillennium. Do you even own a bed?" she jeered back.

"Wouldn't you like to know, _little one_?" he lustily purred back.

"I'll rather get a tan, thank you." She deadpanned, not missing a beat.

"I'll rip more than just your tongues out, if you waste my time any longer." Tyndareos threatened. Those two could bicker for centuries, even immortals did not have time for that bullshit.

Eric on the other hand welcomed the normalcy, it was a nice confirmation that his sanity was indeed intact and he had not been hijacked to some alternate reality by three enticing Fairies.

"Are you telling us that nothing unusual transpired during the interrogation?" Accalu asked to which Eric only shook his head in rebuttal.

"That little fucker Andre unleashed a spell when he went all ninja on the prisoners." Pam told them, more like vehemently hissed the words out.

That got all the vampires dropping their fangs immediately, as if someone just offered them a shot of a silver laced blood. Nothing a vampire hated more than being under the influence of some magical puppeteer, hence why Eric was having a hard time to coming to terms with the Supe origin of HIS family.

"He practically turned into an unstoppable beast. Pam and I felt bloodlust of unreal proportions, the next thing I knew there was no trace of magic anywhere in the room and we were our normal selves once again. The bloodbags' carcasses were also like nothing I've ever seen before. Do any of you have any reference of origin?" Eric asked the group.

"That's very strange. Spells always leave a trace of some kind. A change in smell, behavior, tenor of speech, hue of eye color the list is endless really and in vampires the change of glow is most common. Magic is like anything else, it has a physical form to it and thus evidence of it lingers on afterwards." An Ancient Egyptian commented deep in thought.

During his human life Kashta was an Egyptian High Priest, which was just a fancy title for a witch and as such he possessed vaster knowledge on the subject than most. His turning put a stop on that little hobby of his, but he never lost interest on the subject. During his one and only attempted to practice magic he quickly learned that vampires are not to dabble in sorcery in any shape or form. The permanent discoloration of the left side of his body was attest to that. All perceived it as a scarring he carried over from his human life, but it was the backlash of the spell he had tried to cast. He was lucky he did not perish that night and only lost his left limbs that took painful centuries to regrow. Whoever penned the book on Supernatural rules and regulations thought that his kind were too dangerous to begin with and to allow them to wield magic would just be like giving a toddler a nuclear bomb in its Christmas stocking, therefore sorcery was forever off the table for them.

"The fact that only Andre seems to be affected is even more peculiar." Kashta spoke to no one in particular, a million tales and myths were going through his mind and not one that would fit the given scenario.

"My Grandsire once spoke of a legend, a spell so powerful that could turn even the weakest creature into the most fearsome beast, so savage no one has ever seen the likes of. Magic older than time itself that no one in existence can sense." Thalia looked like she was speaking under duress, she was not the social kind by any means.

"Was he just as chatty or did he by some miracle divulge what triggers the damn spell?" Pam hissed, exasperated. Talking to Thalia was like trying to get Mao Zedong or Hitler to confess their sins.

"You are welcome to ask him yourself" she barked back reaching for the sword, proudly strapped on her back.

"Enough!" Eric roared, this meeting was turning into a bigger pain in the ass than the one with Ludwig and her annoying sidekick. "Andre is unpredictable on a good day, now the fucker can go off like a _Supernatural_nova at any moment."

"I'm going to need a couple of days to reach a contact in the Gatilnic realm who may know something." Kashta declared.

"And I'm having my spy in the Queen's retinue devote all his time to Andre's every move from here on." Tyndareos added as he was vamp texting. "Are we all done here?" the Spartan inside him was more than eager for the war to commence. All this magical crap was cramping his warrior style.

"Find me all the spies in my Area, I care not what species they are nor who their Masters are. Area 5 is now closed for all political fuckary. I will personally interrogate them, so only leave their vocal cords intact, if you must. Andre gained access to the dungeon prematurely, I want to know how he did it and the idiot party responsible for aiding him slayed within an hour time." Eric ordered, his accent clear indication that the Viking was mighty pissed off.

Area 5 of Louisiana was now officially cleaning house of all the morons, who up to this point, were left to believe that they were successful in their missions to spy on the almighty Viking. Killing spree season was officially declared operational, licenses were not needed. Eric was done playing the game of know thy enemy by keeping a close eye on them. That ship sailed the moment HIS family appeared. From now on, he was building one hell of a fortification around HIS precious Angels. With a flick of his wrist Eric dismissed the rest of his retinue and Pam did not need to be told that her undead life's mission was now tracking Billy Boy like a fly on a shit stain. To his inner circle it was obvious that there was more to the story of the drained children, but if the Viking was keeping it under wraps it was none of their business.

Eric closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if trying to prevent an oncoming migraine, something more than implausible with him being a vampire at all.

"You never could get rid of that pesky human habit of yours. This would be the fourth time I've seen you do it." Accalu scolded from the other side of the conference table.

Wishing upon a star for Eric to be left the fuck alone was just not in his favor.

"And my second time for tonight" Eric clarified pinching himself twice as hard, as if that would do the trick.

"Could it have something to do with some delicious Fairies?" Accalu asked in his long forgotten native tongue with as much curiosity as he held over what outfit the Viking would be sporting during his visit to Court tomorrow night.

Eric tensed instantly. If anyone was going to figure it out it was Accalu nothing went past him unnoticed. Just as unexpectedly as before Eric's Maker urged him to stay calm through their bond. The fuck was with everyone acting like he was the one being unreasonable where HIS family was concerned? Eric may still be emotionally coming to terms with their presence, but the fact that they took precedent over everyone and everything else the moment he laid eyes on them was something even he could not dispute.

"Relax Viking, the Old Bat had me chasing one of the Crane triplets earlier tonight. Fascinating story really, as it was right at the time Fangtasia was being bombed." Accalu simpered, he put as much stock in coincidences as in the Easter Bunny. Zilch. "Add that to Compton, who couldn't investigate his own murderer, if he staked him point blank, looking for two younglings like their blood was some miracle fountain and you have Fairy fuckery dust sprinkled all over it."

"Which Crane?" Eric asked in the same language his mentor taught him so many centuries ago.

"This is where the plot gets even more interesting. It was Claudine."

"So the rumors are false then. She can't be ascending to Angel status, if she is in the Earth realm." Eric commented as he was trying to figure out what her connection to HIS family was. If they were royals that was an even bigger problem to be coming his way. Claiming a family of Fairies by a vampire was a true death sentence by all means, claiming not one but three of the Royal Fairies' family was nothing less than a Supe war for the history books.

"Viking, you are assuming folklores to be certes. These are Fairies we're talking about." Accalu reprimanded in a severe tone. His protégé was not one to make rookie mistakes such as this and it really pissed him off.

"And I'm guessing you were _unreservedly UP_ for the challenge of hunting said Fairy" Eric smirked.

"Imagine my disappointment when the Fairy not only didn't try to flee, but seem to calm down when I got there. She was more scared from what the Old Bat had to say than my fangs or my raging cock." He laughed not believing his own words.

"I'm guessing Granny didn't give you a reason for hunting one of the Royals."

"Now that was even more peculiar. She skipped her usual bothersome nonsense and got right to the point with a directive of 'get me that damn Fairy Claudine on the phone NOW' or should I specify screamed like a mad banshee. Nearly left me for deaf. They say retirement is a bitch, but what they really should say is you turn into a secretarial bitch apparently." He shook his head.

"Did you catch any of their conversation?"

"Of course not" He said disgustedly, "The Fairy cast a silence spell as soon as I handed her the phone. Three seconds later she popped out of there even more freaked out, like vampires just invaded her realm. The Bitch took my phone with her too."

"No one can accuse them of not being greedy." Eric laughed. Fucking Fairies. After a long pause he asked. "What makes you think the two events are related?"

"Even that worthless excuse for a vampire Compton can track an aroma as delicious as that. Put the two together and I'm betting the Fairy had to perform some smell suppressing spell on a last minute notice. Now are you going to tell me if we started a war with those sunshine throwing fuckers for draining their younglings or should I just pretend to be surprised when they start popping like maniacs all over the place?"

Eric stayed still as a statue as he weighed his options. Obviously there were more players than he was accounting for. Pieces on the proverbial chessboard were moving faster than the speed of light and the Old Bat was evidently trying to appoint his old friend as his trusted knight. Was Eric capable of taking on the whole Supe world by his lonely wholesome? Hell fucking yeah he was. If Eric the Norseman could not do it then none could and this was not his inflated ego talking it was simply the fact of undead life or so this humble vampire liked to believe. Yet, something within him, aside from his butting in Maker who was now sending strong waves of encouragement, was telling him that this was a battle he would need to build an army of the strongest and most fearsome warriors in order to win the war.

"I did not drain them." To which Accalu just raised his eyebrow, an open jab to his protégé's signature mannerism for _you better start singing like a fucking canary_. "I claimed them as MY OWN." Eric finally declared having made his decision. His instincts never failed him before and he prayed to all his Gods that they were now more finely-tuned than ever for the sake of HIS family.

"Niall is going to shit a brick." Accalu whistled in his flabbergasted state.

"Just call me Big Poppa." Eric laughed boisterously at the absurdity of it all.

"I'll even call you Puffy, if you tell me you seriously think you can rear Fairy children no less." Accalu smirked.

"It cannot be that difficult." Eric spoke with conviction.

"You do know they piss and shit themselves, right? And I'm not even getting into the whole magical aspect of what they could throw at you for disciplining them by simply taking their favorite toys away?"

"Their Mother would be taking care of the first one." Eric dismissed the issue with a flick of his wrist. "The second, MY children will be best behaved. I will see to it."

No way was he going anywhere near that stinky mess. He was a man, a Viking Warrior, a provider, a protector that was the woman's responsibility. The magic, well that could be a challenge, but this Viking thrived in such an environment.

"You are crazier than I thought. You claimed their mother?" shock was written all over Accalu's face. "And have your met your brat of a Childe?"

"You're not helping by taking her to Paris Fashion Week every year." Eric smirked at the sore expressing on his old friend's face.

"I should have never made that damn bet with her. I blame you for it." Accalu hissed.

"Hey, I am just as surprised as you that she was able to glamour that hellhound into chasing its tail for an hour." Eric shrug his shoulders.

"As I said I blame you for her vampire gift. I assume Pam is just tickled over your decision to lay claim to the Fairies." Accalu laughed.

"Pam was reluctant to share, but after some long overdue spanking she quickly reconsidered." Eric smirked. "As for claiming them. I felt a Pull towards them." Eric explained before giving his old friend the cliff notes of what has been happening tonight.

Accalu showed absolutely no reaction, while Eric was recounting tonight's events and only left him with a growing suspicion that everyone around him knew more that they were letting on.

"That still doesn't explains why the Fairy would be willing to aid The Pythoness in covering up something that goes against their primal instincts, like rescuing their kin." Accalu spoke after a while.

"Beats the hell out of me. What do you know of the Crease or the Total Eclipse?"

"Nothing, never heard of them. But there is an Ancient legend of beings that don't need the use of magic, as they are what magic is made out of. From what you are describing THY and this legend are one and the same."

"You never met one?"

"No one has, the sunny rondure is more likely just the physical manifestation of their will in this realm." The Ancient Assyrian spoke studiously.

After a couple seconds of much needed silence for Eric Accalu abruptly stood up.

"I need to make a visit to Dr. Ludwig." Accalu announced.

"What for? Are you coming down with something? Old age maybe?" Eric laughed exuberantly. He always laughed hardest at his own jokes.

"Must be, because I didn't hear a word of what you just said, asshole." Accalu hissed back still using his mother's tongue, the ancient diction of which made his words sound more like a final death threat than a smart comeback. "I need to see, if the little Doc has something to counteract my reaction to your extraordinary family's aroma for the next seven days. Pam won't be able to stop whoever is coming after them and Desi's boys will be dead before they could blink. If whoever is after them are going to attack, it will be while you're away at Court tomorrow. The Queen is no doubt going to lash out at you for going after Andre tonight, so be on your guard, Viking." He threw over his shoulder as he vamped out of the conference room.

A lazy shiteating grin spread across Eric's face remembering the exquisite spectacle of little psychotic Andre convulsing in agony on the floor not once, but twice tonight. By his doing nonetheless. Ah, what a pleasant memory to reminisce over for eternity.

His first order of business was to take a long shower to scrub off the taint of any lingering magic from the prisoners tonight. He did not want to take any chances of it reaching HIS family, if Odin forbid they were its intended targets. Magic of course did not just miraculously wash away, but it was more or less to give himself some peace of mind that he was not just idly and fretfully waiting for them to wake.

His second order of business was to go back to his office and get a new preprogrammed cell phone from the safe. Someone needed to get on the vampire trend wagon and make those suckers indestructible or at the very least sturdy enough that he didn't crush them so easily whenever he sat on his Fangtasia's throne with a little more oomph in his swagger. Eric did not have a problem with butt dialing, he did however suffer from an extreme case of buns of steels and according to Pam his condition was poaching on their monthly spending budget, as if _they_ had one. More like she would use any excuse to increase _hers_. After he made sure he had all his contacts and app preferences setup to his liking Eric too took off like a bat out of hell to wrap up the night before returning to HIS beloved family, where he belonged. He smiled to himself at the idea that there was now someone waiting for him to return home.

He probed the bond with his Maker and found it to be closed off on the other end once again, so he decided that there is no point in trying to reach him via phone.

With everyone in the Supe world being on high alert he proceeded with the evening by carrying out his Sheriff duties, as expected. Checking the damages to Fangtasia had to be his next stop, even if it was the last thing on his mind. He vamped to his car and barked out an order into his new phone, whilst the screeching tires of his precious Big Bertha left long dark rubber streaks on the road as an indication to the mood he was in. Pissed off did not even cover half of it.

When would this fucking night end already?

"Dial the Old Bat!"

After what felt like a perpetuity of ringing tone he was greeted with the all too familiar coarse sound of a trying chuckle. _Wasn't she just a bag of fun tonight?_ If it was up to Eric he would just as joyfully shove that chuckle of hers _where the sun don't shine_ and rid himself of her annoyance all together.

"How long before I can kill that asswipe Compton?" _and your medaling ass?_ was implied in the tenor of Eric's voice, which earned him another round of laughter in return until The Ancient Pythoness addressed his fatal desires in a very somberly nature.

"The magic thrīga need be attained for it to pass or the latter be forever lost to bareness." There was a hint of despondency in her voice.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean? I have no time for your …" Eric roared exasperated. Driving through traffic like a total lunatic.

"Beseech SHE unearths it or it HER Viking, for Compton meanders thy clincher path." she answered him in the same manner before disconnecting the call.

The Old Bat's last words were instantly followed in Eric's consciousness with a fading echo of "Not until I find the last of OUR …" Though Eric had not had the pleasure of hearing HIS Southern Belle's voice yet he was convinced it belonged to Sookie. He was also certain that somewhere in the depth of his subconscious he must have heard the entire message at some point. However no matter which way he tried to retrieve it his labors were utterly futile. HIS Valkyrie sounded horror struck in her desperation and it terrified him. The thought of her getting lost to timeless desolation in pursuit of some imaginary objective was too much for him to bare.

An incomprehensible extreme sense of ice-cold and scorching-hot pulsed through his body making all his muscles painfully cramp. It was a wonder he had not snapped the steering wheel of his beloved Bertha. He was gripping it like his undead life depended on it, the ache was unbearable.

What was HIS Valkyrie searching for? A trinity of what? Could he even exist without her at his side? Why were she and the children so important to him? If you were to ask Eric, the Old Bat had an enduring proclivity for spouting nonsense, however she did so by very pedantically selecting her words. To decrypt her drivel one had to apprehend their individual import, just as much as their overall coherence. There was a spike of hope behind the term _unEARTH_, it implied of a portal between this realm and the Total Eclipse. He needed to find it and retrieve HIS family NOW, only problem was asking around for its location would put them in jeopardy. A chance he could simply not consider. He continued to analyze the Old Bat's words, as he pulled into what looked like the remnants of a war zone in front of Fangtasia. Long Shadow, who was in charge of monitoring the scene and relaying any Intel he was able to discover was instantly at his side acknowledging him with a nod.

"Report." Eric ordered in perfect Paiute not wanting to waste any more time than he had to or let anyone of the eavesdropping locals in on their conversation.

"The humans' bomb squad was on scene twenty minutes after the first responders to clear the rest of the businesses, redundant if you ask me since the vamp police already had that covered. Neither found any more explosives. The bloodbags have been sifting through the blast ever since trying to recreate the device. An insurance representative was here taking pictures and is going to submit his findings to you tomorrow night. That idiot Lt. Johnson of the Shreveport police has been demanding to speak with you and Pam. The local TV stations …. " he answered him in Paiute, his native tongue not missing a beat.

"I'm not here for you to tell me shit I already know Long Shadow." Eric menacingly hissed, dropping his fangs and getting right in the face of his underling. His facial expression was so fearsome it prompted Long Shadow to take a step back. The irate Viking's hair trigger temper spiked at his blatant show of cowardness.

All the while Eric was paying extra close attention to a conversation taking place on the other side of the strip mall.

"There is this one thing Sheriff, but I'm…" Long Shadow stammered not sure how to approach the subject.

"Speak, before I rip your head off for wasting my time!" and it was not an idle threat by any means.

"I could swear I caught a smell of magic inside that toy store on the other end of the strip mall, as I was leaving for the meeting. But there was no trace of it when I went to investigate." He hurriedly replied.

"Was it anything like the smell on the prisoners?"

"Close, but it had more acidity to it."

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't end you this very moment, Long Shadow?" Eric demanded calmly, but his ice cold stare said it all.

It was a good thing he did not bring this up in front of that Queen's asshat twins, but there was no excuse for Long Shadow not to divulge it to Eric immediately.

"It must have been the wind picking up the leftover stench from the prisoners. There was no trace of magic inside or outside that fucking toy store. I double checked. If what I thought happened there should've been a trace and there was none, nothing. Unless the Union is not only bombing us, but somehow fucking with our heads too I have no explanation or _excuse_, Sheriff." The Native American vampire was already regretting not keeping his mouth shut.

That troubled Eric a great deal, someone powerful was after HIS family for certain. The only reason he did not fly like a berserker to be at their side was the fact that there was no trace of their ambrosial aroma anywhere near Fangtasia either.

"Was Compton here tonight and who did he talk to?" Eric asked next.

"You would think _Columbo_ will show up, but neither he nor Andre and his storm troopers ever did. Andria said she saw Compton interrogating some of the punctured bloodbags in the hospital when she went to set up an open account for the ones with no insurance. She should have sent you a list of all of them by now." Long Shadow answered showing no signs of duplicity.

Eric of course already knew of this. He had looked through the list Andria sent him before the meeting, she had also included her discoveries of what Campton's questions were. They were all the standard queries one would expect from a State Investigator. Eric had also already instructed Pam to utilize her vampire gift of super-glamour to confirm his suspicion that Compton used his own milled version to remove the part about HIS family out of the bloodbags' memories. Her little odyssey to the hospital was undoubtedly going to cost him a fortune. Pam's tolerance for _whiny hypochondriacs _was right up there with lime green fanny packs. Sigh.

Covering those massive medical expenses for some of the bloodbags was by no means due to Eric's compassionate nature. He could not give a flying fuck, if all the bloodbags dropped death in the next second or if they left their grieving families with a debt it would take countless generations to pay off. It was simply a wise PR move on his part to gain the humans sympathy in the ongoing persecution of his kind and it worked like a charm as the local news stations were praising him for his _good deeds_ and the story had now gone national. His inbox was filled with requests for interviews and thankfully Andria was taking care of that too. She had scheduled him for a sit down with CNN for 2am tomorrow, which also guaranteed him not having to spend the whole night in the Queen's Court. A win, win, on all fronts. The only way Eric Northman did things.

The lack of fresh scent from any vampire close to the Queen confirmed Long Shadows statement, but for HIS family safety Eric was triple checking the validity of everyone's report.

"Anything else?" Eric enquired, there was a Toys"R"Us employee he was much more interested in interrogating.

"I'm not even sure if what I told you even happened to be honest." Long Shadow spoke truthfully.

"Continue to monitor the situation here and inform me _immediately_, if anything strange ensues. Next time you fail to inform me or bore me with bullshit it will be your last. Am I understood?" Eric's ancient Norse accent was oozing into his Paiute, the idiot should have known better than to piss him off more than he already was.

"Yes, Master." Long Shadow lowered his head in show of submission, wishing to get as far away from the irate Viking as fast as possible.

Not wanting to set any more panic amongst the already squeamish bloodbags Eric quickly strode, instead of vamping, to where a very young boy wearing a vest with a Toys"R"Us logo was vigorously being questioned by Lt. Johnson, the lead detective of the human police in Shreveport. Eric had a decent working relationship with him, he would have much preferred for a Supe to hold the position. But then again glamouring the bloodbag into getting what he wanted was that much easier. He was only a few feet from reaching them, when the young boy noticed him and looked like he was going to pass out in fear at the sight of the flaxen massif of a vampire heading his way.

"Tommy, you are certain this is the woman you helped last before the bombing?" Lt. Johnson asked again holding up a blown up copy of Sookie's driving license and pointing to her picture.

The teenager only nodded in agreement looking sicker by the second. By the time the Lt. Johnson turned to look at what was scaring the boy Eric was looming over both of them.

"Breathe, Boy!" Eric ordered sternly.

Tommy took a colossal gulp of air and promptly ducked behind the police officer in front of him. The poor little fella was trembling like a lonesome leaf in the middle of a hurricane.

"Mr. Northman I've been tryin' to reach ya all night. I got questions you need to answer." The Lieutenant addressed him, irritation written all over his face.

"Ask them quickly." Eric replied crooking his right eyebrow at him in challenge. He was willing to give him the curtesy of 5 seconds as a fellow law enforcer, though even that was pushing it.

"Ok, Mr. Northman where were ya when the first bomb went off?" Lt. Johnson asked while flipping his little black notebook to a brand new page, pen in hand.

"Look at me!" Eric's patience had ran out the moment he arrived at Fangtasia. He had him under his glamour that instant. "I answered all of your questions and you are now satisfied that I had nothing to do with the bombing. You believe that the FotS are behind the unwarranted attack on vampires. You will write a lengthy report of our conversation for your superiors in support of it. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Sir." Lt. Johnson answered in a dazed off fashion, bobbing his head in accord.

"Now go!" Eric hissed.

Tommy took that as a dismissal all around and tried to follow, but Eric quickly grabbed him by the back of his collar.

"You stay!" Eric spoke calmly, since the kid looked like he was going to shit his pants and the last thing Eric wanted was to have to throw away his favorite Iron Maiden concert T-shirt, on top of everything else tonight. Pam had already tried to separate them unsuccessfully more than once, but shit pong was certainly going to do the deed.

"I didn't have anythin' to do with the bombin', Sir. I swear." Tommy declared, barely holding back his tears.

"Relax, Boy. I'm aware of that. I want to know, if you saw anything suspicious, while the young lady was shopping for her young ones." He continued in the same calm voice.

"No, Sir nothin'. I swear. She was very polite and came in to pick a gift from a birthday register. Hunter, the little boy…" The teenage rambled on, still trembling.

"From what?" Eric interrupted, confused. He made a point to keep up with human's trends, but some of them just eluded him all together in their weirdness.

"Uhhh, it's a list of items folks create as ok gifts for the birthday party they're throwing. She was runnin' late so she bought the cheapest left on it, but we both agreed the price wasn't worth the Barbie outfit. I don't blame her though…." And he was back to rattling on nervously.

"Did you see anything strange after they left?" Eric cut him off impatiently.

"No, Sir nothin'. She looked like she were ready to bolt outta of there, all moms do after an hour of being nagged on with 'Mama, I want it'. Though hers weren't like that an' Hunter was super excited for his new toy and the …." a smiled spread on his face, remembering his interaction with the little toddler.

Their mutual love for toys was way bigger than it ought to and so they had a great time exploring the store in search of the perfect toy for Hunter.

"Follow me." Eric ordered as he strode towards the back door of the store incapable of listening to one more second of whatever that was. "Did the police tell you why they are asking you about her?"

He quickly sent a text to Spider instructing him to cut the CCTV inside the toys store until further notice and to check the surveillance video around the time Long Shadow reported sensing the unfamiliar magic.

"Mmm, No, Sir. Police askin' about everybody who's been in the store today. I think to make sure they ain't the bomber. Sir, the store's closed an' the police said the whole strip mall's an active crime scene now. We can't go in, you'll get arrested." warned the boy, as he jogged behind the frightening vampire.

"Do you have keys to open the door, or I'll rip it open." Eric spoke unfazed by his words walking towards the first door he saw after turning the corner.

"Not for any of the loading dock I don't, I only got a key to the employee's back door further down." Tommy answered whipping his head in all directions afraid someone may see them.

"I only HAVE a key." Eric corrected harshly as he continued his march.

"What?" Tommy looked at him in confusion.

"Proper English, Boy. Your version is butchering the damn thing." Though Eric was fully settled in his role as a Sheriff and the location of his Area, he could not stand the redneck slang of its locals.

"Sorry, Sir." Tommy mumbled.

"My apologies, Sir. Is the appropriate response. Learn to articulate, Boy." He sternly corrected, while reading the text from Spider letting him know the cameras did not catch anything suspicious. Not surprising when Supes and magic are involved.

"Yes, Sir." And Tommy was back to fighting off his tears. Eric intimidated the hell out of the scrawny teenager with his massive 6'5" presence, not including the fact that he was the big terrifying vampire boss of the bar next door.

"Open it." Eric ordered standing by the door that had the most saturated human odor around it.

"How'd y'all know? I mean how did you know that this was the back employee entrance? Sir." Tommy quickly amended himself after seeing the irritated features of the vampire before him.

"Better." Eric responded in regards to his gaffe and ignored his question all together, only tilting his head towards the door for him to hurry the fuck up.

Tommy was on it like a tramp on a bag of chips. As soon as they entered Eric took off sniffing the entire store from top to bottom not missing a single inch. He even flew the vast length of the ceiling to make sure he covered everything. Tommy may had found his best friend in Hunter earlier tonight, but Eric was now the undead incarnation of all his superheroes wrapped into one.

There was not any trace of magic, that Eric could detect, what was even more peculiar there was no trace of HIS family's ambrosial scent anywhere either. Inside or outside for that matter. Accalu was right, this whole ordeal had Fairy fuckery dust sprinkled all over it. What the hell was really going on here? After not finding anything of significance, Eric quickly appeared in front of the now awestricken teenager, who was too lost for words over what he had just witnessed.

"Bring me the items they purchased." Eric ordered.

"Yes, Sir".

In his desire to impress his new idol Tommy ran with such vigor between the aisles he barely escaped falling flat on his face each time he turned a corner. Eric just shook his head at the strange boy. Tommy was covered in sweat, panting and quivering like a lost puppy who wanted to be petted for job well done as he handed Eric the three items he fetched for him.

"This is all they purchased?" Eric asked incredulously, while inspecting the small boxes in his right hand.

"Yes, Sir. Well, ya see this one" Tommy pointed to the Barbie Fashion Editor's outfit, "is the one they got off the birthday registry an' I think it eat all of their budget and then I think the little girl had a little accident before they got here…" he was back to rambling, at least he was making an effort not to sound like a total hillbilly.

"Where was her injury?" Eric demanded punitively. Whoever dared hurting HIS little girl was going to be begging for quick death by the time he was done with them.

"No, no, she weren't hurt. She had _a little accident_, y'all know, she pooped herself" Tommy whispered the last part like he was the one who painted the town brown. Which was not a stretch of the imagination, with the sinister glare, Eric was glowering him with at the moment. "an' ya see the diapers an' wipes ain't the cheapest here and ya can tell her mama weren't happy 'bout that an' ….." Whether from nerves or scared Tommy seemed to revert to ranting and sounding like any other redneck.

Eric didn't even know how to respond to that one, except raising his eyebrow in bewilderment. Shitting oneself in his book of unpardonable offenses did not constitute as an _accident_, not by a long shot. It went straight under the _catafuckingstrophic_ column. Tommy continued to nervously give him a detailed account of his interaction with Sookie and the children, while Eric scrutinized the items he was holding like they were the key to everything. They looked cheap and of poor quality, not deserving to be in the company of someone as extraordinary as HIS Angels. HIS family would never had to bother themselves with silly things like budgets, ever again. He had acquired enough wealth and power to see that every single one of their needs and wants were meet with the best all the known realms could offer. Hell, he had more capital that even Pam could burn through in the next several millennia's. That did not mean he was going to give her shopaholic ass Power of Attorney any time soon. That Childe of his was known for achieving the impossible, if she set her stubborn little mind to it.

"What is this? Eric asked cutting Tommy mid rant.

"Uhh, it's a bubble wand, Sir." Tommy answered, a little perplexed, as he pointed to the large label prominently plastered across it.

Eric just raised his signature right brow at Tommy in annoyance this time. Reading it or hearing it out aloud meant all the same to him. Jackshit, that was.

"Ya know. Ya blow bubbles with it an' babies love them." Tommy clarified.

"Show me." Eric ordered irritated.

It infuriated him that he did not have the slightest clue when it came to rearing children, things as simple as what they enjoyed or reviled. The reality of it was gradually starting to sink in. Very, very slowly mind you.

The skinny teenager eyed him, a little puzzled by the request, but complied without voicing the million questions that were running through his sci-fi endowed brain. Maybe vampires had found a way to clone themselves and were now secretly raising baby versions of themselves for spare parts? Or worse they had underground human farms where they were raising the tastiest blood specimens soon to replace the entire human population. Images of countless incubation pods like in the Matrix were running through his brain with each bubble Tommy blew into the air.

"And younglings love this?" Eric asked with no readable expression other than studying each individual bubble like a hawk.

Tommy somehow must have gotten sucked into the Twilight zone, or the scary vampire was really an undercover agent for the Consumer Product Safety Commission and running the vamp bar next door was just a cover. Because this week's episode was just bananas.

"Well, yeah." the mystified boy retorted.

"Very well then. I will take twenty of them." Eric declared.

Tommy just stood there, too stupefied to move or say anything.

"Where are your toys for male children two years of age?" Eric asked still analyzing the uninhibited movement and multicolor reflection of the last of the bubbles.

"Huh?"

"I believe you have better assortments than this, do you not?" Eric pointed to the LEGO Highway Cruiser without looking at it.

"If it's for Hunter he's too smart for those toys." Tommy murmured offhandedly too mesmerized with the sight before him.

"How so?" Eric asked beaming like a proud Papa Bear.

"How many toddlers do ya know that can read?" Tommy asked raising his own eyebrow.

The whole scene was way too bizarre for the young teenage boy to handle. He turned without even waiting for a reply and walked towards the section of toys he was sure Hunter would have a blast exploring.

"I take it he is of above average intelligence?" an enormous 'that's MY Boy' smile was spread across Eric's face, it was threatening to rip it in half.

"Uh huh" was all Tommy could muster.

The next 20 minutes were spent with Eric going over each item meticulously and firing a frillion strange questions from the method of fabrication to demanding to know the identities of the delivery men supplying them. He would read the directions to every one of toys like they were medical charts, sniff them like a mad hound dog and some he even licked to the astonishment of Tommy. He also spent a great amount of time among the stuff animals, rejecting anything of the rodent variety even though Tommy tried in vain to convince him that Mickey and Minnie were not only loved by all children, but they were the face of the entire Disney Universe. Eric then informed him without a trace of irony on his face that no such realm existed and he should know he has been to most of them. Of course Eric knew of Disney, his immature Childe has been torturing him with their fucking tuneful movies from their get go. It was just too funny to see little Tommy all riled up. Yet, a black dragon was deemed an appropriate sleeping companion for an infant babygirl, at least Tommy talked the scary vampire to go with purple fearing the nightmares it may give her. It was a good thing that Spider cut the feed to the surveillance video, because the entire shopping expedition was like watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory meets Judge Judy on steroids. By the end of it the nerdy teenager had somehow earned Eric's respect for not only knowing everything there was about games, toys, action figures, etc. but he was also pleased to find a fellow sympathizer to his proclamation that ever since the remake of Battlestar Galactica the sci-fi genera had gone to utter shit with its unoriginal Marvel remakes. Two full shopping carts and one could safely say there was an adolescent boy hidden inside even a millennium old Viking Warrior.

"Where are your training swords? I need a suitable shields and armors for both male and female." Eric stated as he tossed a rainbow colored unicorn on the vast pile of items. HIS babygirl was a Fairy after all, a probable Fairy Princess at that.

Odin help them all, if that was the case and Pam found out. Glittery pink was going to be the least of his problems. There will be no singing toothless candlesticks and fat teapots in his house, he was putting his foot down on that one.

He may not know anything about raising younglings, but he more than knew how to teach them to fight and defend themselves. HIS Children were going to be Fearsome Warriors just like him, he will see to it, personally.

"Right over here, Sir." Tommy said as he led them to the opposite side of the store.

"What is this shit?" Eric hissed in repugnance gazing at the plastic assortments. "Where are the wood or light metal ones?" some were even knitted, like the Art of War was some kind of a fucking crafts project.

"Mmm, ya ain't gonna to find wood or metal anywhere for safety reasons, not in children's sizes. Sir."

"Very well then, I will just have to forge them myself. Was there anything that their mother was interested in purchasing?"

"I don't think so, she looked like all she wanted was to get outta here."

"Then we are done here. This should cover it. Keep the change." Eric handed the boy an enormous stack of bills.

"I'm so gettin' fired for this." Tommy murmured lower than a whisper under his breath, too scared to refuse the vampire. "Breaking and entering, closed out register…"

"Relax boy, I give you my word you won't lose your job over this. Now look at me." Eric demanded and had Tommy instantly under his glamour. "You will not remember anything of our interaction tonight except that I asked, if you knew anything about the bombings. You will now go straight home and go to sleep."

Tommy nodded and proceeded straight home, exactly as instructed. It took Eric two trips to his beloved Big Bertha to load everything. In a single night just like that his red corvette was no longer his favorite girl, she had been demoted to fifth place behind HIS two Angels and of course who could forget HIS new BFFs, the most glorious tits. Eric smiled and shook his head at how quickly one's priorities change when family enters the picture. A quick text to Spider to turn back on the cameras and one to Bobby to take care of any issues the Manager may have with Tommy and Eric was out of there. Though he will not fess up to it, he was all kinds of giddy of the prospect of spending times with HIS little ones and playing with them.

He will be playing with their gorgeous mother too, but with entirely different set of toys. Nipple clamps, butterfly crotchless thongs, remote controlled plugs anyone? Those were just a few for outside the bedroom to tease themselves with before they could go at it like champions. A deep growl escaped his chest at the thought of having her divine body squirm while he discreetly played with the vibrators settings. It was giving him a raging hardon and threatening to make him shoot his load as he pictured HIS Valkyrie's heavy chest panting for release.

A bloodthirsty rage washed over him just as quickly. No one, but HE should be allowed to see that.

Maybe over time he would not feel like slaughtering everyone at the thought of it, but he highly doubted. She was only HIS.

As he was driving back to the Lake House, he knew that his next logical step should be to go to their former home in Bon Temps and investigate them further. It would not only give him an insight to who they were, but possibly an answer to why he felt so strongly connected to them. Yet, the irresistible need to check on them was once again making him act against his better judgment. He parked his car in front of the mansion and grabbed only two items from one of the many bags on the back seat and ignored Desi and the twin Boys as he vamped straight to his daychamber.

The moment he laid eyes on HIS family all the tension of the night evaporated and their unique sunny warmth invaded his body. The burning pain around his long dead heart eased and he deeply inhaled their enticing scent. He needed every confirmation that they were indeed there, that they were HIS. Eric did not move for a long time and just stood by the side of the bed watching them, listening to their almost inaudible heartbeats, commemorating every tiny detail of their extraordinary beauty to his eternal memory. He sat down on the bed and gently traced their faces with the tip of his cold fingers. Their skin was softer than the most luxurious silk, warm like a summer breeze. They were alive, they were here. _They were made for him, they made him feel alive_. Eric exhaled the breath he did not know he had been holding. He bent down and tenderly kissed each one on the lips wishing more than anything that they will wake at that moment. He reached and placed a small Thor's Hammer plushie over Hunter and arranged the toddlers little fingers to hold tight to it.

"May the great power of Thor grand you a safe passage home, My Son." He whispered in Old Norse and kissed HIS little boy on the forehead.

He then tucked the purple dragon under the covers next to Addy. HIS adorable little girl looked peacefully asleep hugging her _stuffed_ protector. The sight of it put a genial smile on Eric's face.

"May a thousand sleighing dragons carry you on their wings safely home, My beautiful Daughter." He whispered to her and kissed her forehead too.

He did not know how long he stared at HIS Valkyrie. She was breathtaking, he was truly lost in her. He prayed to his Gods and then to every known deity, pleaded for them to return her and the children unharmed to him. It had been a very long time since he had paid proper homage to any of them, though he never lost faith in their prominence. Worry and sense of dread was starting to creep into him. He refused to lose them before he even got the chance to embrace them. Long ago he had come to terms with what and who he was, embracing it fully and thus never longed for things that were never intended for his kind. There was nothing remotely human left in him by this point and yet here he was staring at three stunning creatures, who so effortlessly evoked emotions within him he had not possessed even when he still had a beating heart. Sure, he was young in todays' standards when he was turned, but in the culture he was born he should have fathered numerous children by then. A great Viking Warrior as he, was expected to contribute to the growth of his people by taking a wife and a large family to follow. He was not opposed it per se, it was simply something he never cared for, ever. Call him a selfish prick, if you must, but the idea of being free to stick his horny dick in whomever, whenever the mood struck him was much more suited to his personal preferences.

So why was he so _dead set_ on wanting to start a family now?

He pulled the heavy blanket down Sookie's naked body and lovingly started drawing the runic inscriptions of his peoples on her velvety stomach as he whispered the words out loud. Pangs of intense hurt flashed through his handsome features. He will never see her belly swell full of life with his seed, he will never witness her bountiful breasts getting heavy with milk to feed their sons and daughters. He can give and provide her with everything and anything, BUT that. He could NEVER give her the one thing she obviously wanted more than anything else. A FAMILY of her own. The fact that she was untouched and yet had not one, but two little ones spoke volumes of where her priorities laid. Do not get him wrong, he would forever be grateful to the almighty Freyja for the little Angels she blessed him, Sookie, THEM with. They were a precious little miracle that he would always treasure no more or less, if by some magical marvel the Goddess were to gift them with more. Yet the harsh reality of what he was, his ultimate inadequacy to bear witness to Sookie's gorgeous hips widen to accommodate the birth to a child of his doing was really eating at him. At the man and Viking Warrior inside him. Even the inhuman beast within him that cared for nothing, but bloodlust, cried wretchedly at the thought of it.

Would a woman with maternal instincts as strong as hers forever resent him for it? Would she ever forgive him for it?

The vibrating phone in his back pocket, thankfully, snapped him out of the massive pity party he was throwing himself.

What the fuck was really going on tonight? Since when did Eric fucking Norseman start wallowing for fuck's sake?

Eric shook his head in utter disbelief. He quickly reached for the yellow crystal on the bedside table and placed it on Sookie's chest before he tucked the blanket back around her. He leaned down and whispered in her right ear.

"When you get home, Lover, I give my word of honor I will bring you to my side. I will share everything I am and own with you. Every vampire who owes me fealty will honor you."

That he could do. He bluntly refused to consider of what he could not.

His phone vibrated again and he quickly picked it up this time.

"I am here." He answered sounding like his usual imposing self.

"The fuck Eric? I'm feeling like a hormonal teenager ready to tear my veins wide open with a dull razor blade." Pam hissed furiously at him, prompting him to instantly close off the bond between them.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Pam." He countered cool as a fucking cucumber.

"Like hell you don't. Too late for that. I. Already. Felt. You." she grunted.

"Drop it Pamela." he ordered in a cadence that left no room for buts, ifs or maybes.

"Master?" her voice was small and written with worry.

She had never felt any sort of despair coming from her Maker before tonight and it petrified her. He had all, but drowned her in an ocean of anguish a second ago.

"I said drop it, Childe." His accent was oozing off him.

"Dear Abby, says..." she tried a different approach using her most conciliatory tone.

It was a great effort on her part, which was plenty obvious. Pam's nurturing instincts never evolved past _suck it up, buttercup and grow a fucking pair_.

"I mean it Childe. This is none of your business." He cut her off in warning.

"I'm here, if you ever want to talk about it." She told him sincerely.

"Nodded. What have you learned?"

"I can't account for Compton's whereabouts for entire nights starting exactly three years ago to the date. That would be two months after he began working on the Queen's secretive project to create a directory of all our kind. Astutely after tonight's bombing she is trying to capitalize on the demand for it and moved the launching date to next month during the Summit conference, so Billy Boy's gonna be one busy little bitch until then. He wasn't even supposed to be at the meeting tonight, Eric. Certainly not acting as the State Investigator. He was ordered to drop his Investigator duties and only work on finishing the program. He was only tagging along with Andre to interview the Ancients for the database, since they have been refusing to meet with his pathetic…" Pam sounded bored out of her mind.

"So, Queen _Dearest_ is now throwing tantrums that the moron got his tongue ripped out and will be lucky, if he regrows it by the time the Summit comes around." He sounded just as bored, if not more.

"You know it, she is going for your balls tomorrow for messing with her money flow. The nights of his Houdini acts appear random, always on different dates never more than once a month or sometimes every other month and always while he is away from the new world working on the project for her."

"See if you can find out if he left this realm on those dates."

"What's your theory?"

"Don't have one yet, just a suspicion. Anything else?"

"Billy's mommy has requested a meeting with the Queen for tomorrow. And even I'll let you guess why." She snickered.

"I got a good one for it, DGAFF. Tyndareos _doesn't give a flying fuck_ about meeting with Bill's mommy." he smirked proudly.

"It's actually DGAF, so you can knock off a point from your score for getting it wrong. And while at it knock another one too, because that was not what he told Queen, _Dearest_." She smirked right back at him.

"WYS I'm still leading with 6 points. What did the Spartan tell her?"

"The nutty Spartan is dodging her calls" she grinned "he's not interested in anything other than the battle with the Union right now."

"Of course, he's not." Eric actually doubled over in laughter picturing Tyndareos telling the Queen and Lorena to go suck on sunshine.

What was even funnier for Eric was that first Tyndareos was completely within his right to spank Billy for being an insolent twat and by Gods was it a glorious sight to witness. Second the Queen _Dearest_ would not dare lashing at any Ancient for something senseless like lawfully manhandling one of her _many_ Investigators, because that would have the Supe grapevine buzzing to find out what was so special about him and thus risk exposing the secret project she has him working on. Perpetually hormonal teenager or not the Queen was too shrewd to take the chance. Third and best of all was that Sophie-Anne was obviously livid over having to deal with a lunatic bitch like Lorena and obviously delusional to think that Tyndareos should share the dreadful experience with her. Which at the end was truthfully the only punishment she could really dish out at him.

Good luck with that, the Ancient Spartan Warrior would end them both before he allowed some apeshit cunt like Billy's mama posturing him over utter nonsense.

"Have you been to the hospital yet?" he managed to ask between bellows of amusement.

"NO. It's next on my list." Pam grunted out.

"Have fun while you're in there and don't forget to send _our_ regards to the bloodbags. Google says it's customary to bring balloons and flowers. LMFAO, _Big Sis_ _Pammy_." he laughed exuberantly over her utter desolation and swiftly hung up on her.

She did not need the phone to tell him to GFY, since he had reopen their bond again.

Eric laughed even harder as he headed to his underground office.

For the next two hours Eric converted his custom crafted boat of a bed into his new workspace. As Eric worked on his laptop he had HIS family on each side of him gently caressing them on their faces or absently playing with their silky hair and of course squeezing, tugging, twisting and massaging HIS BFFs, aka the most stunning jugs he has ever had the pleasure making an acquaintance with. It took all his willpower to not say _the fuck with it all_ and just get lost in worshiping HIS Valkyrie's divine figure. Her perfect soft curves, her hot flesh, her plumed red lips were making him feel like a day old baby vamp drowning in desperation to sink his fangs and cock into her. It was the cruelest torture he had ever endured. For now he had to make do with having HIS Angel's left leg spread over his muscular thigh, where he could enjoy the sensation from the delightful heat of her sweet pussy on his cold skin while he worked.

Instead of spending the next hours with his tongue and other parts inside her like he craved Eric painstakingly answered an obscene amount of emails and made phone calls to his numerous contacts to gather any Intel on the Union. He desperately wanted to ask, if they had any knowledge of The Total Eclipse or The Crease and the creatures residing there, but did not in fear for HIS Angels' safety. Checked on the construction of the new mansion, which he was going to make into a home with HIS Family. Eric smiled at the idea.

He received updates from his underlings and provided them with further instructions on how to proceed. Area 5 was buzzing with activity tonight and Eric was right dead smack in the middle of it. Pam stopped by for him to sign a few fucking tomes of paperwork, for which she almost got staked with a flying pen. That and for calling him a cranky fossil. He also heard from Bobby, his dayman who dropped the rest of the supplies for the children and thankfully left immediately thereafter or he might have killed him this time. Dr. Ludwig called him to confirm Accalu's request for an antidote to HIS family's aroma, but her tone sounded like she might have better chance for developing a cure to vampire staking before discovering one for their scent. In the midst of the never ending shitstorm, he had to deal with reports of a group of pissdrunk Weres passing through his Area picking pissing contests with the locals as they went. A night such as this would typically have Eric ripping some idiot's head off by the end of it just to relieve some of the built up stress followed by a massive orgy and gorging on a sea of blood.

However he was more than content to forgo all of it and just lay in bed engulfed by the tranquility HIS Angels emanated. Bathing in their extraordinary sunny warmth was the calmest he had felt, ever. The savage beast who roamed the darkest depths of his vampiric nature was also softly purring in ecstasy basking in their peaceful presence. Their healing light was gradually sealing up an infected wound, which unbeknownst to Eric had been slowly poisoning him with sorrow and longing for over millennium. He had been desperately awaiting HIS family's arrival all this time and not even known it. They were finally here, they were finally HIS.

HIS to worship, HIS to protect, HIS to provide for unconditionally till the end of time and nothing was going to take them away from him not now, not ever.

The foreign emotions they evoked in him frightened and exhilarated him all at once. The euphoria of it was making him experience sensations so alien and fiercely vigorous as if fresh living blood was running through his undead veins. Giving his future a purpose beyond mere existence.

One thing Eric was certain of he would lay down his undead life for them without thinking twice about it and no it was not due to the delightful tugging war he was currently playing with HIS BFFs, the perkiest girls one could imagine.

It was all due to his overpowering need for HIS family.

It was simply the Gods honest truth.

Less than an hour before the merciless pull of the sun was to claim him for the countless time he heard the familiar sound of the black Mercedes-Benz engine, he had purchased not too long ago for the exclusive use by the witch Octavia Fant when she was conducting business in his Area. It was speedily approaching the main gate. By the earsplitting sounds coming from the gearbox Eric could tell that Octavia was in the passenger seat, while her irritating as fuck apprentice Amelia Broadway was torturing the damn thing to a breaking point with her shitty driving. Moments later it was her annoying as fuck high pitch voice torturing Eric as they entered the Lake house and were greeted by the sleepy sounding Mrs. Desi Kostova, his head housekeeper. He quickly kissed each of HIS family before exiting and securing the underground lair to talk to them before the sun forced him to seek shelter for the day.

"Report." Eric commanded abrasively as he vamped into the kitchen.

Octavia just glared at him in indignation through red tired eyes, complemented by a severe case of bedhead and creased night gown. She had been peacefully asleep, when she was _ordered_ to be ready in 10 minutes for a driver to pick her up and get on a plane heading for Shreveport. Giving her only enough time to gather the supplies she would be needing to take with her for casting spells and locking her front door. Amelia on the other hand looked and positively stunk like someone had dragged her out of a dance club, where slutty wardrobe was mandatory and not a choice.

"Hello to you too Eric. How are ya, ya ask? Oh, you know 'bout to _drop dead_, pun unintended, from exhaustion, but thank ya for asking….." Amelia ranted on as she made her way to sit at the kitchen table before she felt asleep where she stood.

She was too tired to deal with rude assholes right now and not say something. If she was sure Eric would not rip her heart out and use it a juice box, she would have just called him a jerk and be done with it.

Eric got the message no problem and was in her face that instant bearing his razor sharp fangs at her.

"One more word from you witch and it will be your last. Am I clear?" he snarled menacingly.

Amelia nodded her understanding vehemently, too scared he will follow through with his statement if she was to answer him verbally.

"Would you ladies like some coffee or tea?" Desi spoke softly trying to break the tension in the room that was about to burst open the gates of hell.

"No, thank you Desi." Octavia politely replied before she too joined Amelia at the table and addressed Eric. She knew him well enough to know that for him to be acting like a complete jackass right off the bet meant that the reason behind their sudden summon must be extremely urgent and bothersome. "We cast all the smell suppressing spells you requested. The protection wards however are a different story. Some of the Supe species you have listed I've never even heard of before tonight. I've special ingredients being delivered at noon tomorrow for casting the most powerful ward that I know of, but I'm afraid it may not be strong enough for what you are looking for. May I ask a question?"

"Go ahead and Mrs. Kostova you may return to your rest now." Eric said, sitting across from Octavia.

Octavia was now starting to get really worried. She knew the lack of use for first names meant only one thing _whatever_ had the Viking all riled up must be of grave importance and consequences_._

"Yes, Master." Desi said before leaving them and praying the brazen young girl will still be breathing when she wakes in a few hours.

Eric was not happy at what Octavia was reporting, but he expected it. He was asking her the impossible, he knew that.

"Viking, you know better than me that there are Supes much more qualified for the wards you are looking for. Why not contract one of them?"

"I can't. Not now any way." He said somberly.

"I'll do all that I can and keep researching for solutions." Octavia said and looked at him with uneasy in her eyes.

Octavia knew to how closely guarded vampires held their secrets, discovery would result in nothing less that death. But over time she came to care for the Viking and if the spells and protection wards he required were any indication then things must be very bad and it troubled her greatly.

"There is more I need from you, but before that I need to know how much you trust the witch and how attached are you really to _her_ assistance?" Eric nodded towards Amelia.

If the answer was 'as much as the next person', Eric can do them both the favor of killing the little witch bitch and get rid of the nuisance already. Or glamour her to forget she ever met them, but the first option suited his personality much better.

The blood drained from Amelia's face, she knew that the Viking could end her before she could react. She looked in desperation towards her mentor, Octavia.

"Cards on the table, Viking. I'm not getting younger and magic takes a toll on my old bones nowadays, so yes I most certainly need _her_. If you are implying I can pick someone else to be helping me then you should know I've chosen _her_ to be the next leader of my Coven. So that is a yes to your first question as well, I trust her explicitly. She may be young and inexperienced still, but she has incredible magical potential making her the best suited."

Well, that was the first time Amelia has ever heard any of this.

"What? Really?" was all she managed to squeal out from all the shock she was currently experiencing and of course the happiness and pride that came with the news.

"I respect you enough to give you the choice to walk away now Mrs. Fant. However, if you chose to stay I give you my word to provide you and yours with my protection and I will be glamouring you to keep my affairs confidential." Eric spoke authoritatively, leaving no room for debate.

The choice was simple for Octavia she nodded her agreement immediately. She had owed the Viking a life debt and this was her chance to pay it and even if she did not Eric had earned her respect over the years. So, if he needed her help, she was there for him. All the way.

However Amelia did not owe shit to any of them. It was up to her right here and now, if she officially chooses the life of a witch and submerges herself fully in the Supe community. There was only one way of quitting it, feet first. The wooden box was a luxury she may get, if she dropped the stupid preceding her name and if there was anything left of her body to stuff it with.

Octavia and Eric both looked at Amelia expectantly. She just stared back vacantly at them.

"What? He is asking you to help him, not me." She turned with a confused look towards her mentor and teacher.

Eric just raised an eyebrow at the, earlier cited, utter stupidity of hers. What he really wanted to do was roll his eyes at the absolute moron before him.

"Do you accept your mentor's proposition to take over the Coven's affairs when the time comes for her to step down?" he asked annoyed.

What Pam saw in the pixie headed moron Eric would never comprehend.

"Of course I do. I still don't see …"

"Then it's settled. I'll give you your first lesson in Supe laws for free witch the rest will cost you, _dearly_. By accepting the position you swear fealty to serve and protect the integrity of your Master and his/hers decisions and affaires. In this case that would be to serve your Witch Coven, thus Octavia Fant, until she grants you the power to be the Mistress yourself."

"Ooookay. So I'm in it now, huh?" Amelia slowed audibly. Vampires just could not help themselves. Just _deadly_ dramatic.

"Not, if you don't want to. This is your chance to walk away Amelia." Octavia patted her hand in reassurance that there will be no bad blood between them, if she thought this life was not for her.

She ignored the dirty looks the brooding vampire across the table was shooting her. In his eyes the young witch accepted her offer, walking away after doing so was a betrayal punishable by death.

"NO way. I know what I'm getting myself into. Well kind off, but that's why I'm still a student and you're a teacher, head of the Coven, uhh Mistress, whatever. Right? And…" Amelia started to rant, but quickly caught herself and declared with all certainty to both "I know more than anything that this is where I want to be, where I belong."

Eric's face was some combination of pursed and fuming, he was really looking forward to ripping her pixie head off. Now only the Gods knew how long he would be forced to deal with her. Octavia had what 15 more feasible years left in her at the most before the young witch takes over and he is forced to look for a new Coven to work with. Then again accidents always happened when you are least expecting them. Like getting run down by a bus driven by an annoyed vampire, the possibilities were endless really.

Octavia smiled at the enthusiastic girl beside her, who reminded her so much of herself half a century ago when she too struck a very similar deal with the Viking before she jumped head first into the Supernatural world. She then shot a very dirty look back at Eric for being rude as stubborn mule tonight.

"So Viking, did you wage a war against the entire Supe world to need such powerful wards around your house?" Amelia asked curiously, after rediscovering her self-confidence now that she is Octavia's official partner, so to speak.

"I see you'll have your hands full with this one." Eric quipped to Octavia.

"Cut her some slack Eric and she is right to ask. What is really going on with you?"

Beginning to feel the sun's pull, Eric quickly glamoured the two witches into secrecy and gave them a very brief summary of the attack on Fangtasia, his claim on HIS family, the magic unleashed by Andre when he killed the prisoners, the Union's existence, his and possibly theirs as well future relocation to New York for the next month. He left out the details of how unique HIS precious Angels really are with their double Fae Sparks or that they are now in the middle of fucking nowhere, some mysterious place named the Total Eclipse. They were not Supes according to Supernatural laws so things like the sunny rondure were way above their pay grade and even if they were Supes there was no way Eric was going to divulge more than they needed to know. He respected Octavia enough to work with her, but trust was something he gave to no one outside his bloodline and a handful of his fellow High Enforcers and even then it was not unequivocal. When it came to HIS family's safety Eric trusted no one, but himself.

"That being said, until they come out of their coma I am unable to arrange the proper Supe guards for them. I don't know who exactly is after them, nonetheless I am certain they are not only formidable adversary as in terms of their physical strength, but they are also capable of wielding some extremely powerful magic. Your job is to use any magic available at your disposal to keep them safe, failure to do so is not acceptable. Understood?"

The whole time he has been talking both witches deferred from passing any judgment and only nodded in agreement when needed. Amelia was virtually a baby to all of it, but knew enough to keep her mouth shut when Eric proudly informed them of _kidnapping_ a fae mother and her kids. Supes were known for how heartless and cruel they could be when they went after something and she was getting a front seat to the harsh reality when it came to the Viking.

Octavia on the other hand had a small smile creeping on the corner of her mouth. She has known the Viking for 50 years now. Their relationship has taking all kinds of twists and turns. She was sure that, if she was not a witch and Eric's firm policy to never mess with them _casual fuck buddies_ early on would have been thrown into the mix as well. What woman in her right mind would not want to have a go on that pogo stick? They started their relationship as him being her protective older brother, business partners and then surrogate parents commiserating over their bratty daughters especially when Amelia and Pam started fucking like rabbits. But somehow in the span of all this time Octavia developed motherly regards towards the millennium old vampire. As crazy as that might sound.

To her there was something very beautiful about the thought of Eric the Norseman _settling down_. She could see that there was also immense joy under the fearsome way every time he pronounced the words 'MY family'.

"What?" Eric asked her curiously.

"I'm happy." She smiled genuinely.

"For?"

"For you having found YOUR family."

"Thank you." Eric returned her smile.

Amelia only gulped, this was just fuckedup on so many levels.

"Mmm, so where are those soldiers, uhhh, I mean bodies you want us to check out?" Amelia asked changing the subject.

"Pam will take you to them first thing tomorrow night. Make sure you take all precautions necessary not to track any magic back to MY family. I don't need to tell you what would happened to you, if you endanger them in any shape or form. Am I clear?" he glared at her.

"Keep them safe. Got it, Viking." How many times was he going to say it, like seriously? She heard him the first time.

"You clearly not hearing me, you stupid fucking witch. I have found 746 ways to stick that many metal cloth hangers through a bloodbag's body just like _yours_ without killing _you_ and keeping _you_ _painfully conscious_ for all of it. I know the location and the function of every single one of _your_ body's cells better than any physician on Earth and I can easily avoid your major organs and arteries so I don't end _you_ prematurely." Eric's voice was chillingly calm, making him sound that much more petrifyingly savage, " I don't even have to try, all _I_ have to do is listen to your coursing blood to direct my hand. This little fun exercise usually takes only two to three hours and mostly due to the necessity to go very _painfully_ slow when drilling through _your_ bones so you don't spoil the fun and pass out from the pain, but I am always eager to beat my previous record of clothes hangers before I move on to something much more _pleasantly painful_. I can torture _you_ for decades and never get tired of it. You couldn't even imagine the number of torture techniques I have learned and invented myself in a span of over millennium. I can promise _you_ one thing. I will truly enjoy discovering new ones using _your pitiable flesh and bones_, if there is so much as a hair out of place on _MY FAMILY_. Are you hearing me now witch?"

"Yes, Sir." It was barely a whisper she was white as ghost.

746? A debilitating shiver ran through her entire body, knowing the grisly image would haunt her forever.

"And stay away from My Childe, witch. If I have to deal with any kind of bullshit, because of you two you will sorely regret it. And Odin help you all if MY family gets hurt, because of something you two did. Am I clear?" he said in the same uber calm voice.

"Yes, Sir." She gulped loudly.

"Are you done scaring the bejeezus out my apprentice, vampire? If so my old bones are crying for a warm bed to lay in." Octavia asked a little irritated at both of them.

Five years this has been going on with no prospect for those two to ever have a civil conversation among themselves.

"Yes, you are free to rest." Eric said as he got up from the table. "I won't forget you helping protect MY family Mrs. Fant and you have my word you will be generously rewarded. Same goes for you Miss. Broadway." And he was out of there.

"I don't even know what to say to that." Amelia whispered.

"That's probably for the best, child." Octavia chuckled as she started to make her way to one of the bedrooms.

Eric had only enough time to wrap up the last of the affairs from the longest, most stressful and joyous nights of his existence with quick phone calls to check in with Pam and Accalu. Leaving them with instructions of what he needed done tomorrow in his absence. He contemplated the idea of taking HIS Angels along with him to NOLA. The thought of being away from them for any span of time or distance was flaming the scorching fire around his undead heart making him almost gasp for air. The vicious beast inside him was tearing at its cage and roaring at the thought of leaving them even for a few hours. Logically he knew they were safest staying where they were, but emotionally he felt they were safest next to him.

He grabbed his phone and snapped a picture of them. Smiling of how peaceful HIS Angels looked as his new screensaver. This way they would be with him. Eric was now grinning. Their first night together as a family. Not how he would have liked for it to go. For once he truly understood the phrase _beggars can't be choosers_.

He was a vampire on a mission as he quickly showered each one of them. Mindful of the water spray obstructing their air supply, he also made sure not to wet their hair this time fearing the vast approaching sunrise will prevent him from drying it. He was following Dr. Ludwig instructions to the tee and one of them clearly stated avoiding letting the children going to bed with wet hair. He did not have a slightest clue as to why, but he was not going to experiment to see what would happen either. Cursing Pam seven ways to Sunday for her rough treatment of them while he put a new layer of the rancid smelling herbs on their mangled skin, which was not looking any better from earlier. With only seconds to spare Eric crawled into bed with HIS precious Angels and drank a drop of the sky blue liquid from the vial Ludwig had supplied. The purpose of which was to waken him immediately in case anyone from HIS family returned from the Total Eclipse, while he was dead to the world.

Eric hissed furiously the moment the cool liquid trickled down his throat.

_Unfuckingbelievable_ was most certainly the word of the day. The fucking millennium really.

His outburst was due to both: blinding rage and improbable bliss.

Eric was experiencing the level of wrath of a berserker for having listened to the little hell troll and waiting until dawn to drink the substance. A blinding euphoria overtook all his senses when three congruous hums, sounding the sweetest symphony he has ever heard, began coursing through his ancient blood.

"I'm going to massacre that little garden gnome the next…." and he was out cold for the day.

Eric's troubles may have magically disappeared with the sun, but they were just gearing up to a new high level for Adele Stackhouse as the tour bus for her The Descendants of the Glorious Death historical group dropped her off at the closest airport the driver could find. This trip was a gift from her grandkids for her 70th birthday and ostensibly too wicked to feel realistic. She did not want to go in the first place and not only because they did not have the money for it, but because she had an irksome feeling that something awful was going to happen whilst she was away. She should have trusted her instincts, they had never failed her, she should have known better. Now she was stuck, God only knew where, in the middle of Pennsylvania thousands of miles away from her grandbabies, feeling as though she is on the verge of having a heart attack since Jason called her to let her know he could not get a hold of Sookie and the kids. The last she heard from him was in the wee hours to tell her he was going to go look for them. Jason could always feel his sister and physically locate her. When he did not phone her back she was beside herself with worry. Her cell phone battery was about to die any moment from the countless times she tried to reach either of her grandkids anyplace she could think of. No one had any idea where they might be and thought she was upsetting herself over nothing. But she just knew in the pit of her stomach that something was not right.

Something horrible has happened to her family.

Adele painstakingly got in line and silently cried as she waited to purchase the first flight available to get back to Louisiana. She felt broken and the weightiness of her age was heavier on her that ever before forcing her entire body to hunch over for the first time. Her grey stricken hair has turned white in a matter of a few hours and was now loosely falling out her bun from her continued pulling on it. Her usual immaculate look was now on the disheveled side with her flower pattern dress ridden with innumerable creases. Her normally bright happy face was now covered with thick ashy traces from dried out tears forcing the freshly spilled ones to find an alternative path as they silently seeped down her colorless cheeks.

She had to stay positive, she reminded herself. Her family needed her now more than ever. Maybe Sookie's car broke down and all of this was just one big misunderstanding. Lord let it be so!

"Ma'am are you ok?" the attractive young lady behind the ticket counter asked with concern.

Adele just nodded and wiped her tears before stepping up to the ticket counter. She had not even noticed the line moving.

"I'll be ok, dear. Thank ya for been so nice and askin'. I need a ticket to Shreveport, Louisiana please. It's a family emergency. My gran-grandbabies and their mama have gone missing and I need to get home to find'em." She sniffled. "I need ta get there as soon as possible, please." She wiped away the new set of tears that had rolled down her wrinkled ridden face from hours of endless worrying.

"Yes ma'am. Let me see how we can make that happened for you. I hope they are found soon. I'll say a prayer for them." The girl spoke gently before she started to type fiercely on something Adele could not see behind the raised counter of the ticket desk.

"Thank ya, my dear." Adele sniffled again sending her own prayers for their safe return home.

After what felt like hours the young girl, that appeared to be in her late twenties, looked up at her with compassion in her eyes. Adele gave her small smile in return, it was the most she could muster at this time.

"Ok, I can put you on a flight to Chicago, Illinois that actually leaves in 30 minutes. From there you will need to take one connecting flight through Atlanta, Georgia before arriving in Shreveport, Louisiana. The layover in Chicago Midway Airport is 3 hour and 45 minutes. The layover in Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta Airport is 2 hours and 15 minutes. You will be arriving in Shreveport, Louisiana in 5:35 pm local time. That's the best I could do. Any other fight combination will get you there after 11pm." The young lady named Mellissa, according to her name tag, said looking at Adele apologetically.

"I believe you, dear. I'll take it."

"That will be $1037.46, Ma'am. I'm truly sorry, I tried my best to keep the price as low as possible. But the flight from the Chicago to Atlanta is first class, all the economy seats are already sold out." She explained after seeing the utter anguish on the elderly's woman expression when she heard the amount.

Adele swallowed audibly. She did not have enough in her checking account to cover it. Not even in her savings account or the fusion of the two. What cash she brought along with her for this trip was pretty much it.

"It's ok, my dear. I'm sure ya did ya best and I appreciate all y'all help. I have $234.78 in cash. I'll need to write ya check for the rest of it." She sniffled again wiping more tears making her vision blurry as she rumbled inside her purse for her check book.

She will figure it out by the time the check came around to be cleared.

"We don't take checks ma'am. I'm sorry. We take only cash, debit or credit cards. Any combination of the three and we accept any card provider." The young girl now looked like she was fighting back tears of her own.

"I don't have a credit card." Adele whispered feeling more broken than ever. Her body slumped impossibly low.

"Here. I have racked up enough frequent mile points to cover her flights." A middle age man with salt and paper hair wearing expensive business suite stepped from behind Adele's hunched figure.

"I can't let y'all do that, young man. I really appreciate your offer, Lord knows I do. But it's too much and I can't accept it with a clear conscience. I'll find myself another way." Adele protested pushing his hand back and turning back to Mellissa. "Ain't there a cheaper ticket, dear? Or do ya know where I can catch a bus 'round here?" she pleaded weeping. A flood of tears were pouring down from her puffy red eyes and soaking the front of her flowery dress.

The stranger took Adele's hand and gently covered it with both of his prompting her to turning and look directly into his compassionate eye.

"I lost both, my only son and my daughter in-law on 9-11. She was pregnant with my only grandchild at the time. The _unbearable pain_ I felt when I watched those towers falling down that day is the same I hear in your voice and see in your eyes right now. I'll give up all my money to have one more minute with my family. Let me do this for _them_, for their memory." There was such indescribable agony in his deep brown eyes, one that would surely follow to the next afterlife.

"I… I.. I" she cried harder. Panting heavily trying to catch her breath. Her whole body was trembling. Adele was sure she was going to go into cardiac arrest at any moment.

"Now take a deep breath." he soothed her taking a deep inhale along with her. He needed it just as much as she. "_You_ just go back and take care of your loved ones. That's all _you_ need to do." He whispered to her never taking his eyes from her as he handed the card to the sobbing young girl at the ticket desk.

"Only if …. you tell …..me who ya …..are, good Sir" She finally managed to say in-between all the loud heart-wrenching cries that were now uncontrollably tearing off her heaving chest. "My name is ….Adele Stackhouse from ….Bon Temps, Louisiana …..and I'll pay you back every cent ...…. as God is my witness."

He gave her a genuine smile and grabbed one of the blank suitcase tags on the counter to write down his information. Which was nothing close to his real name or his actual home address, but the older woman did not needed to know that.

"Take your time. You can pay me back whenever you can." He assured her as he handed her his '_information'_. "You should probably hurry, if you don't want to miss your flight. I hope you find your granddaughter and children safely waiting for you."

"Thank you … some much, Mr. Joe Smith. ….. God bless ya and I promise …. ya I'll pay you every last ... penny back, young man." Adele gave him a bear hug and kissed him on the cheeks before she came to her senses and changed her mind.

"There's no rush on it. You need to go through the checkpoint that is to the left over there and good luck to you and your family." He smiled at her.

"God Bless ya ... kind Sir." She hugged him again and hurried off in the direction he pointed her to.

She frantically called Jason and Sookie's cell phones leaving them the each a message with details of her impending arrival. Called the farmhouse praying to the good Lord above her granddaughter will pick up the phone and she would hear her grand-grandbabies happily playing in the background. It did not happened. It only drained what was left of her cell phone battery and now she was left with thoughts of worst case scenarios to swirl inside her head as the hours ticked by agonizingly slow. She cursed the damn thing and her old age. Not only had she forgotten her pocket address book with all her contact numbers inside the suitcase on the bus in her hurry to get back home, but she had somehow gotten much older and lost all her memory too. For the life of her she could not remember a single phone number of anyone she knew. All her nerves were tightly wound springs as she moved through the countless airports and planes like a mechanical robot. She did not rest her eyes for a second, did not eat or drink the whole time, barely remembered to breathe. She did not feel anything anymore, there was only physical or emotional emptiness inside her. She just silently cried until she could not physically do that anymore either. After that she just stared into nothing. Numb to the world around her.

The moment she was finally able to lay eyes on her grandson Jason, who was lacking three other blondes next him Adele's instincts to fight or die for her family kicked in with a vengeance of a tornado about to touchdown. Nothing and no-one was safe. She could feel it in the pit of her stomach that her family was somewhere wandering lost in an abyss of obscurity trying to find their way home. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her that they were calling for Jason and her to locate them and bring them safely back home.

Blood was pumping into her old body at such accelerated rate it was making her sick. Her head was spinning.

Jason stopped his distressed pacing mid stride and ran to embrace her squeezing the air out of her old worn-out lungs the moment she cleared through the security glass doors twenty feet away from the baggage claim area.

"Gran!" he yelled relieved to have her with him more than ever before.

"Where are they, Jason? Where my grandbabies?" was all she greeted him with. Determination radiating of her.

"Gone Gran. There are all gone. There are all dead." Jason let out a wrenched bellow unable to hold back the tears any longer.

It was too much for her old physique to take. She felt herself go limp right before everything turned into black. After that there was nothing.

If Jason had not been holding her so tightly to him she would have hit the floor like a sack of potatoes taking him down along with her.

Jason lost it. He was shaking her violently yelling her name like a deranged banshee as the swarm of passers-by made a wide circle around them.

"Gran! Oh, God! Gran! Wake up! Gran! Gran! Wake up! Please God don't let her die. Gran! Wake up!"

"Here this should help." A pleasant looking woman in her mid-sixties rushed to them putting an open container of Vicks VapoRub under Adele's nose making her instantly scrunch at the pungent smell. "You should take her to a hospital to get checked out." She told Jason as she moved the small container side to side under Adele's nose.

"Gran can ya hear me? Gran?" Jason shook her again with a lot less force this time.

"No hospital." Adele croaked out in a strained voice, her eyes fluttered open a second later.

"We need ta go get ya checked out Gran. Ya passed out." Jason angrily said to her.

"I said no hospitals, child. I need to find my grandbabies." She returned his angry voice and straightened herself pushing away from him.

"Gran!" Jason whispered yelled.

"You watch ya tone with me, young man. I said no hospitals and that's final." She sternly glared at him. There was no budging her on it and that was that.

"Dear, y'all should really go get yourself checked. He's right to worry about ya." The woman who ran to her rescue spoke softly rubbing Adele's arm for comfort.

"Thank you my dear, but I'm just fine." Adele politely told her with a reassuring smile patting her own hand over hers for confirmation. "Jason let's go!" She hollered over her right shoulder as she marched towards the exit.

"Gran wait up. Gran!" Jason called as he hurriedly tried to catch up with her, doing a perfect imitation of the frogger trying to avoid getting splattered to shits, as he awkwardly maneuvered between a mob of arriving passengers and people waiting for their luggage to appear on the rolling conveyors. "Gran?"

"Hurry up Jason we ain't got all day!"

"Where we going Gran?" he asked breathlessly once he was just a few steps behind her.

"To find my grandbabies. Where is your car?"

"Gran, they are …" Jason throat swelled up on him, he could not say _IT_ again.

Adele abruptly spun to face him and scanned him with the most somber mien.

"Jason Mitchell Stackhouse can ya _feel_ your sister? You concentrate hard and tell me if you _feel her _or a big empty void instead." she squinted her eyes at him.

She was convinced Sookie was not dead, just like she knew her grandchildren's' abilities to be factual and not a figment of overactive imaginations. She did not have to be able to hear other people's thoughts to know three of her grandbabies could do it effortlessly. Adele did not have to be able to feel other people's emotions to know that Jason did best through skin contact. She grabbed his hands and centered herself mentally staring fearlessly straight into the demesne of her conviction, the profoundest precipice of her essence. Her three grandbabies were aimlessly drifting in there she was certain of it. She pushed all her resolve towards Jason patiently waiting for him to come to the same conclusion on his own after _feeling_ for his sister.

"Uh, .…" Jason had his _shart _face on, which meant he was working extra hard through something. With any luck his contorted features were not due to his usual case of Gamble and Lost. "Yes, No. I don't know Gran. Uhhh, my head's been killing me since last night, can't think straight." He grunted massaging his temples after freeing his hands from Adele's deathly grip to alleviate some of the pressure.

"Jason Mitchell Stackhouse I better not find ya gotten yourself pissdrunk instead of looking for your sister and kids. I'll whoop ya tail so hard ya ain't ever gonna sit on it again. Y'all hear me?" She had swung her purse off her shoulder ninja fast and was now gone into a full blow assault mode hitting him anywhere she could get to.

Jason did not even see the can of whoopass until it was on his doorstep breaking down his door.

"Oh, ouch. Watcha doin' that for? Uhhh, …I weren't drunk Gran. Oh, Ouch" all he could do was block the worst of it. Adele was not letting up anytime soon. "I swear. Ouch. …I swear on mama and daddy's graves, uhhh, ouch, I weren't drunk, Gran."

That stopped Adele dead in her tracks. There were a lot of things you could always count on when it came to her grandson. Like sell a box of ketchup popsicles to a lady wearing white gloves with just his emotional ambience, you could certainly count on getting a call in the ungodly hours to pick him up from the Bon Temps police station for starting yet another bar brawl whenever the local drunks touched on the subject of Crazy Sookie and her creepy brood or charming the pants off any girl with his good looks and not his Nobel intelligence. But most certainly you could count on him to never ever lie when he brought up the ghastly destiny of his parents. There was a reason Jason never talked about them, the raw pain from that horrid night would never allow him to casually mention them.

"What happened last night? Leave nothing out." She commanded.

"Don't know Gran. I was doi… uhh, on a date with this chi…. uhhh lovely young girl. Next thin' I know my Johnson ain't working…"

"Jason!"

"Ya said leave nothin' out, 'member?" he gave her a hairy look. She should know better. What else would he be doing, if he was not drinking? "Second later I felt like Sookie were scared outta her mind screamin' for me go help 'er. Called her cell, then the farmhouse, but she weren't picking up an' I suddenly couldn't _feel_ her clear no more. I got worried so I went looking for them. Then uhhh …. I ….. uhhhh" he did not know how to say the next part. Jason was not sure, if he dreamed the whole thing, because recalling the memory was like looking at it though a fog tinted glass. Adele nodded encouragingly for him to continue. "It's all too weird Gran. I got this memory of ….. findin' Sook's burnt car with burnt ashes inside, uuuh…., in front of that vamp bar in Shreveport next to the Toys"R"Us they were going to …. but it don't feel real none of it … but somehow I'm sure I did….. if I try real hard I can _feel_ Sook's alive, but I saw them burnt ….I don't know Gran. What if it's all true and I just don't wonna believe it?" tears now freely spill down his face.

"Sook and the kids are alive Jason. I know it in my gut." She hugged him and did not let go, while Jason emotions poured off him "We just need to go find them Jason. Stop worrying about everything else and only _feel_ where Sookie is, ok dear?"

"Ok, Gran." He wiped his face with the back of his hand and nodded.

"Use a napkin, Jason! Where are your manners, young man?" she chastised him as she dug into her purse for one.

Jason only smiled glad to have Gran back with him. He had been going out of his mind all day waiting for her.

After what felt like an hour of aimless driving in the desolated western suburbs of Shreveport Jason suddenly without any warning shouted "I feel Sook" on the top of his lungs. Scaring the beejeebers out of his grandmother. They have been relatively quiet only speaking when necessary to allow Jason to fully concentrate on _feeling_ his sister. With Jason's infamous track record for attention span the last hour was nothing short of watching a miracle in the making. The whole time Adele sat silently and kept sending emotions of encouragement and reassurance towards him. She had never been prouder of him than at that precise moment.

"I can _feel_ her Gran. Sook's close I can feel it." He put his foot to the floor and almost send the truck rolling onto its side as he made a sharp right turn down what looked like a dead end road.

"Jason Stackhouse you almost gave me a heart attack, watch ya driving young man!"

"Yes, ma'am." he nodded, but never eased on the pedal. He can feel them, _all three of them_ _now_.

Both of them tensed getting a bad feeling. Something wickedly dreadful was in the air. The switch of energy was so sudden it could easily stun an elephant straight into next Sunday. They felt like their skin was on fire, their heads were spinning and were on the verge of becoming physically ill.

"Do ya feel that?" Jason grunted trying his best not to resurrect the leftover pizza he had for lunch earlier in the day.

"Ignore it, just follow ya way to Sookie and the kids." Adele rumbled holding on her seat for dear life.

Jason gunned it with such a force it was another miracle they did not plow straight to their deaths. They found themselves in front of the largest most expensive looking double gate both of them have ever seen. Until Jason vaguely remembered seeing one just like that, identical if you asked him, the night before. He jumped out of his truck before it even came to a full stop and marched straight to it. This time there was no obnoxious bloodsucker throwing him an inhospitable party, not that he could currently recall such event what with how much anger was clouding his thoughts right now anyway. However there were two formidable and identically looking young men behind the gate with the largest automatic rifles he had ever seen. Even if Jason did not adore his gun mistresses, as any self-respecting southern _oughta do_, it was obvious even to a lame person that one of those camouflaged bad boys was a Barret M98B sniper rifle and no joke especially when aiming for your bullseye.

"Where's my sister?" Jason screamed with all his might the second he open his door.

"This's a private property y'all need to turn 'round and head back to where y'all came from." one of Desi's twin boys holler at the two intruders, while his doppelganger nodded his head in agreement.

"We ain't going nowhere fuckers until you let my sister and kids go!" Jason screamed louder. "I ain't afraid of y'all dipshits. Where're my sister and kids?"

"One more step and we start shooting. Fair warning." The other twin announced.

"Y'all go ahead and do what you need to do, young man and we'll do what we came here for." Adele spoke evenly as she was slowly getting out of the truck to join her grandson.

It was a little after six thirty when Amelia and Octavia had set down to eat some dinner and not too long before they heard the commotion outside followed by rapid gunfire. It sounded like all hell was breaking loose by the front gate. Desi was just switching the laundry after serving them when her heart dropped to the floor hearing the petrifying resonances of flying bullets in the distance. Amelia instantly dropped her fork and ran outside in a panic ignoring her teacher's protest to stay put. She was a girl of action through and through. The Flash had nothing on her, she was by the main gate before you could say Jack Robinson.

"The hell's wrong witcha y'all fucktarts?" Jason yelled crouching a little on instincts after hearing the barrage of warning shots released into the sky.

"Jason, language!"

"Your granddaughter and kids ain't here. You need to turn around and leave now. Those were the only warning shots y'all getting."

"Fuck y'all. I know that's BUHL-SHEE-YET, coz I KNOW they're in there."

"Jason!"

"You need to vacate the premises. Now!" the twins said in unison in their usual hair-raising way.

"Fuck y'all creeps. I ain't going anywhere. I'ma mold y'all two like them wet sloppy clays in one of them spinning things in the next second, if y'all don't bring my sister and kids out. Y'all hear me?"

"Jason Mitchell Stackhouse the next foul word out of ya and you'll be picking your own switch. Ya hear me, young man?" only Gran will insist on having a _clean_ fight.

"The fuck's going on out here?" Amelia huffed trying to catch her breath once she finally got to them.

Her legs felt like they were on fire, a mile and a half sprint would do that to you. She could not remember the last time she ran for any other reason than being _chased_ in her bed during sex. Not even during gym class in high school, she _somehow_ always had her period on those days.

"Ya too, young lady. Watch yer language, that's no way for a proper lady to talk like." Adele chastised wagging her finger at her.

The look all four of them gave Adele said it all. Youth had one foot permanently planted in hell these days.

"Is she fo real?" Amelia managed to wheeze out in one extra short exhale before she turned to the twins for confirmation that her hearing has not failed her after the alien invasion of endorphins into her body.

"Gran washed my mouth with soup more times than I care fo. Care to try her?" Jason smirked threateningly.

"I suggest you let my grandbabies go or we're going to have ourselves a big ole problem. Hand me your phone Jason."

"What fo?" he looked at her utterly confused.

"To call the police so I can get my babies home with me." She told him as she reached for the phone inside his front breast packet.

Amelia who was still half out of it, trying to get her panting lungs to cooperate with simple things like breathing, panicked at hearing that. Eric was positively going to kill them, if they did not prevent the police from getting involved. The powerful spellbinding words were falling out of her lips before she had any time to fully think through her next act of recklessness for the day. Adele and Jason on the other hand only had enough time to each shoot her a glare that could teach ice something about freezing cold before they hit the ground right where they stood.

"Sweet." Both twins grinned staring at the fallen bodies in front them.

"Oops."

"Good job, witch. Watcha do to them anyway?" One of the twins said as he started opening the front gate.

"Sleeping beauty. It was even that or turn them into cats. I panicked." She shrugged.

"How long till they wake up?"

"Honestly I've no idea. I uhhh…_tweaked_ the spell on the spot to give it a…. uhhh …..extra kick punch. Octavia is going to kill me." She huffed irritated.

"Ya be fine."

"Yeah, well you're not the one who's still on probation for using 'unlisted' magic."

Both boys just snickered recalling Pam's tale of Amelia's last punishment for setting the pizza delivery guy's shoes on fire after he _politely_ told her he will gladly take his _tip_ payment with her on her knees. Let just say Amelia will never eat pizza again.

"What're doing?" Amelia asked panicky.

"Relax, I ain't gonna kill him. Don't hex me or I swear I'll shoot your witchy ass." He called over his shoulder as he turned Jason on his stomach and started patting his back pockets.

"What're looking for?" she asked still gasping for breath.

"Checking fo ID, what do ya think?"

"Why?"

"So we know where to go drop them off. Get yer ass outta yer head, woman." The other twin next to her spoke startling her and causing her to yelp and jump into the air.

Yep, her nerves were shot to shit, that was for sure.

"Watch your mouth TwinThing One. Let's just bring them inside the house and have Eric…"

"kill them." He cut her off indifferently, like he was talking what the weather would be like tomorrow.

Hurricanes with raining hell from a pissed off Ancient Viking was a safe bet for a prediction.

"Glamour them" she grunted turning to face him head on.

"Amelia, honestly do you think the Viking won't slaughter any stranger inside his house the second he gets a whiff of their smell?" he countered raising his right eyebrow in typical Eric's fashion at her.

"But they are their family." She pointed to the two sleeping bodies on the ground in indignation.

"Even more reason for him to do it. He _claimed_ them, Amelia. C'mon now, ya know what that means. Yer a witch, ain't ya?" He shook his head as he went to help his twin brother load the bodies into Jason's truck.

"_kidnapped_ is the word I'll use. Fucking ego-centric Supes." She murmured under her breath as she stomped back to the house to let Octavia and Desi in on the current turn of events.

"Look at it this way at least we giving'em a chance for him to change his mind." he called after her.

"Fat chance that is." She huffed.

After some debate of who should go to Bon Temps to do the honors of dropping off Adele and Jason to safety it was decided the boys were going to stay behind to guard the house while the women undertook the task. They first went to Jason's house and after seeing the despicable state his bachelor pad was in decided that laying him on the couch still wearing his clothes from the day. It would just be any other Tuesday for him. Adele on the other hand they quickly changed into one of her long night gowns and laid her on her bed. Desi used the chance to take a video of the inside of the farm house to document what Eric's new found family usual choices for food were. Their toiletries, the inside of Sookie's closet, the kids toy box and movie collection anything that would help them feel comfortable in their new home. It was not up to her to pass judgment like Amelia, who never stopped her bitching that what Eric was doing was beyond sick. A cold shiver ran through her entire body every time she thought of a vampire having three Fairies on tap, two of which were innocent little babies. Octavia and Desi tried in vain to assure her that just by seeing the way the Viking's eye lit up every time the subject of HIS family came up it was obvious even to a blind person he will never do anything to hurt them. Finally they just told her to shut it.

They got back to the Lake house with ten minutes to spare before the sun went down and Eric would rise for the day. In reality he rose one to two hours before dusk for the last couple centuries, but the shitstorm from the night before must have taken a lot out of him, because he did not open his eyes until the precise moment the sun was no longer on the horizon. Vampires succumb to the sun's power just as abruptly as they come back to full consciousness with all their senses on full alert. To them the whole process was just a blink of time. The first couple of centuries the sensation is a little unnerving, but just like everything thing else the novelty wears out eventually. In Eric's case he no longer experienced that split second where your mind needed to catch up with your magically built-in protection guards of audiovisual and smell. He was acutely aware of his surrounding these days, how he got there and most importantly why he was feeling like he had just risen from the dead. The whole process was integrated into his psyche like a second layer of skin by now.

What Eric was not used to though was smelling secondhand traces of strangers inside his house. Strangers related to HIS family. That was all Eric need to know about them to literally fly off his rocker and roar like a homicidal manic scaring the crap out of the three women in the kitchen nervously awaiting his arrival.

"Where are they?" he thundered appearing in front of them out of nowhere is an instant.

"Amelia cast a sleeping smell on them and we took them back to their homes." Octavia answered. The cold murderous look in his blazing cold eyes was frightening her quicker than she could manage to remember to breathe.

"How long before they wake?" he hissed.

"Five days tops. I think." Amelia whispered.

"You think?" he snarled.

"I improvised." She tried to defend herself. She already had an ear full about it from her teacher, didn't they see she was pressed for time?

"Fucking Jason Stackhouse. I'm going to slay that worthless redneck." He hissed.

"Eric they _knew_ Sookie and the kids were here." Octavia said heavily.

"I know. The fucker showed up last tight too."

"What do you need us to do?"

"I'll take care of it. FUUUUCK." He roared again, every window and piece of furniture in the entire house shook "I need to be in New Orleans in less than an hour. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. If they come back detain them." He took an unneeded breath to center himself before he continued "Did anything else happened today?"

"No, just them showing up and we were able to successfully cast the protection ward I told you about earlier on the new house."

"Good. I need to leave immediately. NO ONE is allowed anywhere near MY family. Am I clear?" he grunted irately.

"Yes." Came as a collective answer from all three women like they have been rehearsing it with the twins as the conductors.

Jason fucking Stackhouse was a fucking dead bloodbag.

Just fucking great. This night was turning to be another fucking shitstorm right from the fucking start. Fucking great, in-fucking-deed.

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Eric vamped back, with the speed of a derailed freight train on a collision mission, down to his daychamber, back to HIS family. He had only enough time to kiss them each and say a quick prayer to the Gods to keep them safe until he returned. He reached for the sky blue vial on the night stand and curses Ludwig for the frillionith time when the substance magically disappeared the instant it was in his hand. There was no other alternative, but to wait for his next dosage right before sunrise today, that did not mean he could not punch a hole in the wall in annoyance over it. He should have left for NOLA last night for his meeting with the Queen, but then his need to be with HIS precious Angels seemed to override all his logic nowadays. He flew to one of his numerous home to shower, put on a bespoke suite which always helped when dealing with a vain bitch like Sophie-Anne and grabbed a couple of his trusted weapons in case the suite was not doing it. The entire time his mind was reeling with countless way of exterminating the persistent redneck thorn in his pesky ass, Jason fucking Stackhouse. This threat to HIS family was unacceptable. Period. Of course he was not going to simply kill him without torturing him for information of how he was able to overcome his glamour.

All in due time Viking, he reminded himself, before shooting into the star ridden sky on his way to New Orleans.

Flying was one of Eric's favorite activities when he needed to center himself and clear his thoughts. Tonight flying was a more tranquil experience than in the past millennium and it had nothing to do with the panoramic scenery of twinkling lights before him. Eric was not alone he had HIS family with him, they were humming the sweetest opus known to supekind inside him. Coursing through his powerful ancient blood like petite warm sun rays gifting him with the sensation of life and rejuvenation. Softly vibrating and composing a hypnotic murmur that had even his inner bloodthirsty beast purr in genuine ecstasy. Until HIS family melodic hum unexpectedly turned to the most horrifying sound Eric has ever heard. An excruciating pain took over his entire body and he descended into a sound breaking speed of freefall. The blazing pain around his undead heart whenever he was away from HIS Angels was so paralyzing it made him want to tear open his own ribcage and rip the useless thing out of him.

Something terribly horrific was happening to HIS family.

Eric did not think, did not debate and did not even act on instincts. He was speeding through the night sky with the force of The Big Bang towards HIS family by the time his head cleared of the raging pain. Nothing and no one was safe in his reckoning as trees were being uprooted and thrown like leaves into the air from the bayou area hundreds of miles below him. He was only 10 minutes into his flight to NOLA when he felt his undead life being yanked from under him. Without HIS family there was no Eric the Norseman, not any more after he had found them. He had no sense of time and distance as his mind was swirling in horror as he pushed his body beyond breaking point to get back to them. His efforts tripled when he heard the screams coming from the Lake House in the distance.

"Do something! Aren't you a fucking doctor?" Pam yelled.

"I can't do anything vampire. She has to release the little one willingly on her own." Came Ludwig strained voice.

Eric's felt his undead heart explode in his chest when the Lake house finally appeared on the horizon and he saw it engulfed by a massive bright sphere of pure sunlight.

"Make her!" he could hear Pam scream in outrage as the house was now feet away from him.

"I can't force her vampire." Ludwig yelled back.

Eric destroyed every single door in his way as he flew like a berserker straight into his underground daychamber and felt his undead heart exploding into million pieces for a second time in less than a second at the sight in front of him. Two small bright blue orbs where hovering over Sookie and Addy's limp bodies, while Pam and Ludwig seemed to watch helplessly on the sideline accompanied by none other than his arch-nemesis the sunny rondure. Both of HIS Angels' eyes were wide open and there was white foam dripping down their contorted faces. He roared an ear piercing call for battle causing the entire house to shake violently when he took in the deathly blue color of HIS little girl. The untamable beast inside him tore through its cage in its desire to shed blood on the entire world until there was nothing left.

His vision reduced to nothing, but burning bloodthirsty red.

"Master…"

"Vampire, there's nothi…."

"MOVE!" Eric boomed to both Ludwig and Pam sending them flying as he reached for HIS girls.

He had shredded his clothes off of him by the time he scooped them both up and caged them against his cold granite chest. Wanting to have them as close to him as possible, as he held on to them for dear undead life. He brushed his lips against HIS Valkyrie left ear and did the only think there was to do.

Eric the Norseman pleaded for a miracle. Pleaded to HIS Valkyrie and the Gods for HIS little girl.

"Let her come to me, Lover. I give you my word no harm will come to OUR little one, whilst she is with me." He whispered. "I beg of you my Angel let her go, for you are killing her. I promise you we will be right here waiting for YOU and OUR son when you return. Now let her come to me, Lover. Please, I beg of you."

His voice was smooth and reassuring, though he had never felt more panicked and desperate in his entire existence on earth. His eyes was rimmed red. He kissed her below her left ear and felt Sookie slightly twitch in his arms before the most glorious sound Eric had ever heard echoed throughout the room. HIS precious little girl gulped for air twice before her raspy cry vibrated against his chest, filling him up with unparalleled bliss. Her petite warm fingers dug into his cold skin like tiny half-moons in dire need for comfort right before her delicate lashes fluttered rapidly as she opened her beautiful eyes.

The Queen could go fuck herself with a rusted chainsaw for all Eric Northman cared.

…

**_Please_****drop me a line to tell me what you think of the story. :) **


End file.
